Dad & Sons in the same tent

[ScoutingEMT]

Except for medical reasons and safety reasons, Leaders and Youth shouldn't be in the same tent--- EVEN if they are family.

 

Other cases - what if father/son are on Camporee staff together - why set up 2 tents.. sharing makes sense in that case

 

What if you are short a tent, and have 1 leader or 1 scout who is without a tent - again, for an isolated event, father/son sharing seems OK.

 

I agree that youth should tent with other youth... better social interaction. (except when your tentmate wets the bad... that stinks... ).

 

Jon

[oldsm]

Short a tent? Whatever happened to the Scout motto?

 

I do know that neither of my sons ever wanted to share a tent with me in Scouts. They'd much rather be with their patrols. Then again, I'm usually exiled to the next county(!) to dissipate the somnolent nasal music.

[GernBlansten]

Short a tent? You betcha. Last fall about 2AM I heard an awful sound coming from one our scout's tent. First some moaning, then the unmistakable sound of a personal bio spill. By the time I got out of my bag, all three scouts where outside their tent contributing to the mess. Seems the excess of Koolaid didn't sit well with one of them and the other two were sympathetic pukers. Needless to say, we rescued what we could from the tent and set them up in my tent. I then went back to my truck and retrieved an old bivvy bag and made the best out of the rest of the evening. I always carry an extra tent in the truck now just for that situation. Extra bags too.

[fotoscout]

Take a boy that has come from a pack that doesn't camp and a family that doesn't camp. For him, the right thing to do, might be to sleep with dad for the first few outings. For virtually all other boys, I would stongly encourage them to sleep with their patrol buddy's.

 

10/11 year olds who have camped before, should be more than ready to tent without dad. Just be careful who they tent with. The choice of tentmates is critical to the boy's successs.

[fotoscout]

Take a boy that has come from a pack that doesn't camp and a family that doesn't camp. For him, the right thing to do, might be to sleep with dad for the first few outings. For virtually all other boys, I would stongly encourage them to sleep with their patrol buddy's.

 

10/11 year olds who have camped before, should be more than ready to tent without dad. Just be careful who they tent with. The choice of tentmates is critical to the boy's successs.

[AvidSM]

I agree with both of fotoscout's posts! For some just joined boy scouts not used to camping, sharing a tent with their parent would help them get used to it.

 

But after the first few times, I would strongly discourage it, for reasons of peer bonding and learning independency, as well stated in previous posts.

 

I have one second year scout who still tents with his Dad. I also have a pair of scouts who tent with their patrol, but constantly go back and forth to their dad with every little question or need.

 

I do what I can to discourage it, but some Dad's don't seem to get it. I have noticed that some can't let go in this way. If I banned them from camping with the troop, it know it will cause bad feelings.

 

 

[EagleInKY]

"I'll raise my own son, thank you very much. "

 

We (scout leaders in general) are not trying to raise your son. In fact, I get quite aggravated with parents that seem to want to abdicate that responsiblility to me.

 

We are, however, trying to run a program that will help develop your son in many ways - physically, emotionally, socially... Part of that involves you letting go of some things you'd like to see done, for the good of the program as a whole.

 

I'm not trying to be overly critical, I guess I'm just a little sensitive. I've got a really bizarre situation along these lines in our troop and I don't understand why a parent won't let his son do what hundreds of thousands of others have proven to be successful.

[SR540Beaver]

Avid,

 

There are some ways to deal with those problems parents. In our troop, the adults set up a good distance from the boys. They can see us and we can see them, but anyone walking between campsites is noticible. We have the SPL and ASPL's set up in between the boys and adults. The boy should never leave his patrol site without letting the PL know where he is going. If he is coming to ask his dad something, the PL can catch it and answer it when he asks to visit the adults. Also, he should not be leaving without a buddy. If he does, he gets caught at the boy leadership site on the way to the adults. He can be asked where he is going and why and sent back to his PL to either get an answer or a buddy. If he does manage to make it over to the adult site, he has to ask permission to enter camp. If he is there without a buddy, he gets sent back. If he is there to ask a question the PL could answer, he gets sent back. It does not take very long of getting sent back for either a buddy or to get an answer from the PL for the boy and the dad to figure out the rules and start following them. Of course, this is all explained repeatedly to new boys and dads from the beginning. This honestly has not been a problem for us. We just picked up 18 new boys who have been on the last 2 campouts with us. The first campout, we had a good number of parents go to see what all happens and for a comfort factor. They knew the rules and several made comments about really having to work at staying away from the boys and watching from a distance. We had hardly any parents go on the second campout.

[SSScout]

Both systems(New Boy Patrol and Feed in to Old Patrols) can work well, with appropriate leadership/mentoring. In NBP,this can either be a whole new Patrol, where the boys go thru Scouting together, or they may be reassigned later to 'regular' Patrols. In the OP system, you can have a certain traditional culture exist that is very 'Scoutish' and positive. But the SM and ASMs need to be sensitive to the creation of cliques and mini tyrants (see Lord of the Flies) as the the newer boys are either welcomed in as equals or 'initiated' as 'plebes' or 'servants'.

True story: A bike camp trip was planned. Being the resident bike expert (used to own a shop), a parent called and asked first if I would check over his son's bike. Sure, I said bring it over. Then he started asking about our plans. Where would we sleep? Camp grounds along the route were reserved. Who carries the gear? The boys carry the light stuff in bike packs, we had a 'sag wagon' for support. Well, what happens if it rains? The boys get wet. There was silence on the other end of the phone. Oh. Then we talked about the need for rain gear, which had already been discusssed at the planning sessions, but...

Sometimes the parent needs to sleep with the boy, not the other way around. Independance has a price on both sides, I think.

 

[Lisabob]

I don't see a problem with parents of new scouts asking a ton of questions like the ones SSScout describes. I know that when my son first crossed over I had a million questions and I know that this year, I've answered about that many too for other new parents.

 

Sad to say, trust needs to be earned. When you are handing off your child to someone you barely know, isn't it reasonable to ask a bunch of questions? Yes, some parents have difficulty letting go. Some want to make sure that the troop leaders have planned adequately for whatever may happen. Some want to have a head's up so that they can help their boy prepare a bit in advance (in terms of his expectations), so that he'll be more likely to have a good time on those first couple of camp outs.

 

I know that a boy will learn to prepare himself and ask the right questions on his own, especially after he has some experiences where he DIDN'T prepare adequately to start with. But there are some boys who are better served, those first couple of times, by a gentle approach because if you throw them in with both feet and they're not prepared they'll be miserable and not want to come back for another try. You can't teach them anything if they quit.

 

Parents of those new boys, and their Webelos Den Leaders, know those boys better and have a better sense of which boys are going to need a little extra help at first, than adult leaders of the troop most of the time, just because they've known and worked with the boys for years. So I'm all for asking and answering as many questions as people have right up front. Even, in the beginning, if it is a question that the boys (not parents) ought to be asking. And then we can educate both the parents and the boys along the way.

 

Lisa'bob