Cursing

[yellow_hammer]

My son told my wife and I about boys cursing at other boys (the a word) at a recent scout outing. I was planning to bring it up with the leadership but then heard one of the adult leaders cursing (s word - not at the boys) and held my tongue while I considered how I should bring this up.

 

Boys do this. I'm not as upset about it as my wife but I expect better behavior from scouts. I'm looking for advice on how best to approach troop leadership about this problem.

[evmori]

Sounds like a good topic for a Scoutmaster Minute!

 

We are always Scouts and we should always live by the Scout Oath & Law.

 

Even when we don't have the uniform on. We are Scouts a school, at work, at the baseball game, in line at the movies and filling up the tank with gas at the service station. What we do & what we say & how we act tell people a lot about us. If we are respectful and courteous and say thank-you and please, people get a good impression of us. If we cut people off when we are driving or don't hold the door for the elderly gentleman behind us or use poor language then people get a bad impression of us.

 

We are always Scouts and we should always live by the Scout Oath & Law.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[CA_Scouter]

Ed's suggestion is perfect. Make a Scoutmaster minute out of it, and then the message will be delivered to both the scouts and the adults.

 

But remember that Scouters also, are not perfect, and they will slip up at times. More than likely, it was inadvertant on the adults part and they probably realized it afterward, though chose to keep a low profile and not bring attention to his slipup...

 

 

[Trevorum]

Good idea. Also remember that slang can be a slippery. What is an unacceptable word or idiom to one person may be perfectly fine to another person. Most of us would agree that some famous words are alway inappropriate for their sexual content (f*), scatalogical content (s*), or as racial or ethnic slurs (n*), but then there are words like 'dang', 'geez', 'gol-darn', and even 'egad', which are cursing to some but merely mild interjections to others.

 

Thank goodness (a curse to some!) we don't have a French Academy to rank words as acceptable.

 

 

[LongHaul]

I remember an incident where a young man who would "slip" on occasion "slipped" while in ear shot of a young girl he liked very much. He was talking to a group of guys and she was standing near by with a group of girls. The look on her face and the realization of the damage done in his was apparent from across the room. The adults who saw this knew something had happened but we were to far away to have heard the actual utterance. The Scoutmaster Minute could address the concept of becoming comfortable with "socially unacceptable language" until you slip at the wrong time and find out how uncomfortable it can be.

LongHaul

 

[Fuzzy Bear]

Cursing... the opposite of being courteous or patient or being kind and alert; a way to express one's worth and trust in doing the right thing or being brave in the light of a bad situation; doing one's best when it hurts the most or being constantly loyal, or doing one's duty or showing reverence to one's God; obedience to the belief that being helpful and friendly is important or a show of thrift of word usage during difficult times by putting on a cheerful face and expressing the essence of being an honorable Scout.

A minute's worth of thoughts,

 

FB

[oldsm]

One of my pet peeves has to do with the extremely common use of the expression "Oh, my God" or one of its derivatives.

 

I have heard this expression used by youth, by parents, by scouters - just about everyone, it seems. Even clergy.

 

I was brought up to understand that using these words comprised actually addressing God, as in a prayer or supplication. Any other use was considered blasphemous: "Do not take the name of God your Lord in vain. God will not allow the one who takes His name in vain to go unpunished." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments#Text_of_the_commandments)

 

In my house, we do not use this expression. However, I find it offensive when I have to listen to God being denigrated by such a large part of contemporary society.

 

Maybe there should be a whole series of SM minutes dealing with language, slang, cursing, etc., and how we are perceived. Sort of like commercials on TV: a single viewing won't do much, but enough repetition will influence a sizeable number of people to buy the Ginzu knives.

 

I'm chuckling at the thought of ending the my next SM minute with "But wait, there's more..." or "to be continued next week..."

[Fuzzy Bear]

Using G_ _'s name without a reason is like cutting down a tree to watch it fall. It is useless words that swirl around us that creates confusion and disturbs the peace of the world, inside and out. If we are to connect with our Creator, then we must empty our minds of clutter and go in peace and quietness and only then is there understanding. FB

[Lisabob]

I find this to be a very interesting thread because - especially for boys, it seems - cursing is often used as a (misguided) way to appear grown up. Why? Because adults frequently curse in front of children and no one corrects them in any kind of obvious way (where's mom when you need her?). Yes, corrections occur that are more subtle but the boys often won't pick up on that.

 

I think an SM minute is a very good idea IF the SM him/herself is not one who is known to curse. In that case, it would be a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of lesson and middle school boys pick up on that pretty quickly; they're a bit rigid in their thinking about right/wrong and hypocrisy at that age.

 

Lisa'bob

 

 

[funscout]

Good Point, LisaBob!

 

Kids do pick up on what they see and hear adults doing. I have "corrected" a few scouters during scouting events, but I think you're right, that the kids don't usually hear the corrections, or apologies. Yes, I think the adults should apologize when they swear in front of the kids.

 

If a troop has a problem with adults swearing, could a fine be given each time they swear? When my younger son started trying out swear words (that he had heard on the bus), we used a "swear jar" and each of us was fined a dollar every time we swore. This helped my husband, too, who does let the occasional "bad word" slip out! Okay, I confess, I did have to put in a dollar one time, too!

[GernBlansten]

This thread reminds me of a scene from Life of Brian

 

Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah".

[Everyone gasps]

Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself!

Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!

Jewish Official: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?

Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!

Jewish Official: Was it you?

Stoner: Yes.

Jewish Official: Right...

Stoner: Well you did say "Jehovah. "

[Crowd throws rocks at the stoner]

Jewish Official: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "

[Crowd stones the Jewish Official to death]

[Fuzzy Bear]

In the History of the World, Moses arrives at the foot of the mountain with three stone tablets. He announces as he tries to hold them up that he has, "fifteen Laws" but he drops and breaks one tablet so he pauses briefly before he says, "Ten Laws". The first such Biblical incident that cursing would have been employed but was avoided by quick and effective thinking.

[Trevorum]

Oy gevalt!

[yellow_hammer]

All,

 

Thanks for the suggestions. A Scoutmaster minute and effort by the troop leadership to squelch the cursing is the agreed upon approach. I think it will do the trick because they are good boys who are trying out some bad habits.

 

Oldsm,

 

I'm with you on the "Oh my..." exclamations. It is talk that is not allowed in the yellowhammer home. But many people around us, some who sit on the pew next to us, don't see it that way. The kids understand that we have different standards and that's just the way it is.

 

Gern,

 

Cease thy irreverence lest ye be blown to bits by the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch. ;-)

[Cigarsquid]

One of my favorite questions to ask young Sailors and Marines is: "How many ** times do you have to say ** in a ** sentence before you begin to sound like a ** idiot?"

 

As a Sailor for the past 23+ years, I've seen more than my share of foul-mouthed individuals -- was even one of them until a salty old-timer asked me the above question.

 

I'm still guilty of an occasional curse, but have been really good about "cleaning" my vocabulary.

 

As I mentioned in another thread, we had a problem with profanity during last year's summer camp. The former SM and CC sent a letter to the parents, explaining that cursing goes against the Oath and Law and that it would not be tolerated. If it happened again, the parents would be called and would be required to either come pick up their Scout (sometimes a 2 hour drive to our campsites) or come and stay with the Scout for the remainder of the weekend. Second offense would require that the parent attend every Scout function for a period of six months. Third offense the Scout would be asked to leave the Troop.

 

So far we've only had to call two parents -- that seems to have worked so far. I know there have been a few more incidents, but the SPL has been handling it very nicely.

 

YiS,

Tim

 

"If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires."

(This message has been edited by a staff member.)