Diplomacy, please...

[Venividi]

Longhaul,

 

It took a while to reflect on your post before I responded. Initially, I was upset that you would question the appropriateness of someone being involved in scouting if based on the viewpoint I expressed here. After reflection, I thought it more likely that I had done a poor job of explaining myself, and had not gone down to the next layer of meaning in my response.

 

Everyones views and opinions are colored by the experiences that they have had. A little background on my experience may illuminate. The troop my son joined in 1998 did not have a functional committee. Aside from a good advancement chair and fundraising chair, most everything else fell on the SMs shoulders. As a new ASM, I stepped up to a lot to take some of the strain off of the SM. 18 months later, I was SM. I had one new ASM, who was also highly involved in other volunteer activities. The troop had 4 patrols so plenty of parents - many attended troop committee meetings, providing opinions on what the troop ought to be doing. But requests for parents to take care of the outings reservations, tour permits, equipment, chaplain, etc. were met with silence. Even asking individual parents to handle a reservations for an individual campout were resisted. So I attempted to do it all for the boys, because otherwise, they wouldnt go camping every month and have the experiences that help them grow. The time to do all these other roles had to come from somewhere I dropped other volunteer activities which I enjoyed. Missed more of my daughters activities than I would have liked. Aside from my weekly call with the SPL, I didnt have time to do the things I thought I should be doing - adequately advise the other positions ASPL, PLs, quartermaster, chaplains aide, etc. So they didnt get as much out of their positions as I would have liked them to. And after about 2 years, I was burnt out. By now my son was a freshman in high school and was active in band, cross country, and track. I could see that I either need to recruit a replacement SM, or would be missing my childrens activities while I went on campouts without my son. I resolved that I do my best to get the committee to step up to its responsibilities to make it easier for the next SM. At a committee meeting I laid it out that despite repeated requests for assistance, I as SM was still performing most of their functions and I wasnt going to do it anymore. The troop subsequently missed a couple of campouts because no one would step up to making reservations and other logistics(I did offer to advise so no one would be picking up cold). Equipment fell in dissarry, because there was no adult willing to advise the quartermaster. I could have continued to step in to do it for the boys, but I think that the troop committee became stronger because I finally had the courage not to - and with a stronger committee, the troop became stronger.

I was being taken advantage of (and I allowed it) when I was doing the jobs that others should have been doing. Based on this experience, I see a parallel in the situation in this topic being asked to do something that is properly the responsibility of others. Each of us has a limited amount of time that can be devoted to scouting. Each of us has to come to grips with where that boundary is. Like the story about the starfish on the beach, we can make a difference to some of them. If we attempt to save ALL of them, our contact with each individual may become so small that it can become ineffectual. And by doing it for the other troop (rather than counter offering to participate but not run the activity), may help in the short run, but based on my experience may be counter productive in the long run because those from the other troop can sit in the background without stepping up to the tasks.

 

Your past experiences may be different, and result in different conclusions. Thank you for challenging me to explain. I think I have provided a much better response this time.

though we may still disagree I dont mind.

Venividi