Funeral Procedures

[eweiss45]

OK...this probably doesn't happen very often, so I'm not looking for a specific protocol to follow, but more just suggestions on how to go about it. Im the SPL in a Boy Scout troop, and this past week our Scoutmaster's daughter, who earned the Gold Award in Girl Scouts, died of cancer. I called our council office to see what would be done in a situation like this, and they suggested presenting the family with a flag. The family wants something to be read for the presentation but I have no idea what to do about this....any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[AnneinMpls]

If I may have your permission, I can post your request at wagggs-l where they are really keen on GS inspirational readings etc. and might be able to come up with something appropo.

Something the girl wrote would be pretty cool to have read - Gold Award generally requires some write-up and there might hbe something to use from that, or maybe thak you letters from the organization she helped?

I'll keep thinking,

Anne in Mpls

[kraut-60]

I may be able to suggest a flag fold and presentation that would reflect the dignity and somberness that are essential to a loved ones family and friends.

 

I was assigned to the US Navy funeral and honors detail at the former US Naval station Long Beach CA. for almost 3 years, and have served at over 300 funerals during my tenure.

 

I would suggest having 2 scouts fold and present the flag to the girls family. This will require having the US flag draped over the casket. Please ensure that the blue field with the stars is over the right hand side of the head of the casket. This is done so as to ensure that the flags blue field and stars cover the heart of the deceased.

 

Both scouts performing this duty should follow this procedure; one scout should be at the head of the casket while the other scout stands at the foot of the casket. One other scout should face the side of the casket that faces the family, this scout will give the order to fold the flag as well as assist in its folding. The flag should be folded when the minister finishes their eulogy.The scout facing the side of the casket should then cleary give the order " Prepare to fold the flag" at this point the 2 scouts at the foot and head of the will bend slighty at the knees while taking the corners of the flag in each hand. Both should look at each other and nod when they have ahold of the corners and are ready to proceed with the next step. The scout in charge will then order "Fold the flag", the 2 scouts at the foot and head then lift the flag together and stretch the flag over the casket taughtly. They then side-step to the side of the casket facing the family and proceed directly with folding the flag in the normal manner as taught to scouts. The scout in charge will place both palms up and support the flag while it is being folded. The scout who folds the flag should render the scout salute to the scout holding the flag after he finishes his folding. The scout in charge should then briefly check the flag to ensure its correctness and that no red or white is showing, then he recieves the flag from the scout who was folding and that scout should then render his salute. The scout in charge should have the flag in his hands palms up with fingers lightly curled over the edges of the flag.

 

The scout now holding the flag may present the flag to the designated next of kin by bending at the waist and extending the flag. He should also render a scout salute but it should be done slowly and with dignity.

 

When we presented a flag we were required to say "On behalf of the President of the United States, the Secretary of Defense and the Chief of Naval operations, I present you with this flag for the faithful and honorable service of( deceaseds name)".

 

Please accept my condolences and respect for young lady who has left this life way too early, I hope what I have put down here may be of help to you.

 

Also, its very important that all 3 scouts are in FULL and complete uniform. They should also practice this honor duty before attemtping it for real.

[Eamonn]

Hi eweiss45

Welcome to the forums.

It is a shame it couldn't be under happier circumstance's.

The passing of a loved one is never easy, but I can't even imagine the pain of losing a son or a daughter.

As to finding specific protocol to follow,there isn't one.

You haven't provided a lot of information. Such as who is paying for whatever it is you end up presenting? When and where the presentation will take place.

The most important thing is that whatever you and whoever else is involved do has to come from your heart/hearts.

This is far more important than any procedure.

When I got married, a number of Scouts bought me a wedding present, while I really was impressed and still use some of what they bought, I was more impressed that without any adult involvement they all came to the church in full uniform and formed a guard of honor. Of all the wedding photos that one is my favorite and lives on the dressing table in our bedroom.

You don't say if the SM's daughter was involved with the Troop or how well the Troop knew her.

If someone knows of a writer that the family or the girl really likes you might want to read something from them.

Simple prayers or Bible verses might be something that could be be read. Again it's all about the heart not the words.

I always liked Requiem, by Robert Louis Stevenson

 

Under the wide and starry sky

Dig the grave and let me lie.

Glad did I live and gladly die,

And I laid me down with a will.

 

This be the verse you grave for me;

Here he lies where he longed to be,

Home is the sailor, home from sea,

And the hunter home from the hill.

But that's just me.

Eamonn.

 

 

 

 

[scoutldr]

When I die, one of my regrets will be that I can't have a flag on my casket, because I am not a veteran. The funeral director will probably not go along with that.

 

I would suggest that perhaps a scout or two could read a scriptural passage (make sure the scout is a good reader) that is appropriate to scouting. How about finding a verse from the Bible that illustrates each point of the Scout Law (or Girl Scout law)? Or, more simply, round up all the scouts you can find (Boy, Girl and Venturers) and just show up in uniform and sit together. Your mere presence will speak volumes.

[AnneinMpls]

This is a reading we use for Girl Scout Sunday. I apologize for not recording what website I found it on. I changed up the introductory remarks.

 

Girl Scout Sunday, March 12, 2006

Brownie GS Troop 811 & Junior GS Troop 1021 of St. Olaf Lutheran Church

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Girl Scout: When Girl Scouts across the country agree to live by the Girl Scout Law, they are learning basic principles to live by all their lives that are not new but have existed for centuries.

We invite all Girl Scout alumni who are with us today to come forward and join us for this reading:

I will do my best to be honest and fair,

People: Speak truth to your neighbors, for we are members of one another (Ephesians 4:25). Justice, and only justice you shall pursue (Dueteronomy 16:20).

 

friendly and helpful,

People: Love one another with mutual affection (Romans 12:10). How does God's love abide in anyone who has the world's goods and sees a person in need and yet refuses to help? Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action (1 John 3:17-18).

 

considerate and caring,

People: Thus says the Lord of hosts: show kindness and mercy to one another (Zechariah 7:9).

 

courageous and strong,

People: Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9).

 

and responsible for what I say and do,

People: Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

 

and to respect myself and others,

People: God's temple is holy and you are that temple (1 Corinthians 3:17). Pay to all what is due them - respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due (Romans 13:7).

 

respect authority,

People: Whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed (Romans 13:2).

 

use resources wisely,

People: The person who uses well what she is given shall be given more, and she shall have abundance (Matthew 25:29).

 

make the world a better place,

People: Let us not grow weary in doing what is right. Whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all (Galatians 6:9-10).

 

and be a sister to every Girl Scout.

People: You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). Encourage one another and build up each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

 

Girl Scout: These are the laws todays Girl Scouts promise to keep. These laws of the past and the present can serve us all of our lives as we look for ways to serve others.

 

[ScoutNut]

You don't say how old the young lady was, so I do not know if she would have still been involved in scouting or not.

 

Find out from your SM if she was still close to her old GS Troopmates. If she was get contact info & find out if any of them would be interested in participating. Also, contact her GS council for contact info for her GS Service Unit to find if there are any current GS, who might have know her, and who would be interested in participating. In order to earn the Gold, she would have had to do a LOT of service & leadership. There might be some younger girls out there who she worked with who would love this opportuity to give back to her in some small way.

 

Some readings that could be modified to work for you -

 

Prayer Composed by Chief Yellow Lark, a Blackfoot Indian -

Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me. I come before you, one of your many children. I am weak and small. I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset; my ears sharp so I may hear your voice. Make me wise, so I may learn the things you have taught my people, the lessons you have hidden under every rock and leaf. I seek strength, not to be superior to my brothers, but to be able to fight my greatest enemy--myself. Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so whenever life fades, like the fading sunset, my spirit will come to you without shame.

 

 

The Great Spirit Prayer -

The lone, wild fowl in lofty flight is still with Thee, nor leaves Thy sight. The ends of earth are in Thy hand, the sea's dark deep and no man's land. And I am Thine, I rest in Thee. Great Spirit, come and rest in me.

Amen.

 

 

The Scout Beatitudes -

Blessed are the Scouts who are taught to see beauty in all things around them...for their world will be a place of grace and wonder.

Blessed are the Scouts who are led with patience and understanding... for they will learn the strength of endurance and the gift of tolerance.

 

Blessed are the Scouts who are provided a home where family members dwell in harmony and close communion...for they shall become the peacemakers of the world.

 

Blessed are the Scouts who are taught the value and power of truth...for they shall search for knowledge and use it with wisdom and discernment.

 

Blessed are the Scouts who are guided by those with faith in a loving God...for they will find Him early and will walk with Him through life.

 

Blessed are the Scouts who are loved and know that they are loved...for they shall sow seeds of love in the world and reap joy for themselves and others.

 

 

Native North American prayer -

Do not stand at my bier and weep,

I am not there. I do not sleep,

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush of

Quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my bier and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.

 

 

Henry Scott Holland, English clergyman -

Death is nothing at all...

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I, and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

 

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort,

without the ghost of a shadow on it.

 

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was;

there is absolutely unbroken continuity....

 

Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval,

Somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well

 

 

The Final Flight -

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,

I'm following the path God laid for me.

I took his hand when I heard his call,

I turned my back and left it all.

 

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work, to play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I've found that peace at the end of the day.

 

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah, yes, these things too I will miss.

 

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My Life's been full, I savoured much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one' touch.

 

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me,

God wanted me now, He set me free.

 

 

Little Angels (2)- Author Unknown

Change the name, age and gender for your own situation -

God sent an angel to the earth...

The sweetest angel too

and for such a tiny little thing,

she had so much to do.

She knew she did not have

much time upon this earth to stay,

so she did not waste a second;

she got started right away.

 

Her eyes were bright and sparkly,

she took in every turn.

She did not miss a single thing,

because Angel came to learn!

God sent her here to touch the

hearts of those he could not reach...

She taught them courage, strength and faith,

because Angel came to teach.

 

Her tiny little body

was so full of God above,

you felt it when you held her,

because Kaitlyn came to love.

 

In eleven short months she managed

what many never will.

When she went home to Jesus,

her purpose was fulfilled.

She learned and taught, loved and played,

she learned her lessons well.

I know he was so proud of her

when she went home to dwell.

 

But when I miss her OH-SO-MUCH,

I can almost hear him say,

please understand, her work was done...

Kaitlyn did not come to stay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[John-in-KC]

eweiss,

 

Welcome to the campfire. Like so many others, I see the friendship you offer your Scoutmaster in helping mourn his daughter.

 

If you can, find a copy of Footsteps of the Founder, a work of quotes by Baden-Powell. There are many excellent quotes here, you will certainly find one which applies to her. Several are specific to the feminine side of the Movement Lady Olave founded, the Girl Guides.

 

If you PM me off list with a couple of topics you'd want to see that would apply to her, I'll send you quotes.

 

May God be with you through all this.

[CA_Scouter]

Eweiss,

 

First of all, you are a fine gentleman and a tribute to what is right about scouting for your efforts to be a friend to your SM's family during this most very difficult time.

 

I lost a scout in my troop back in Jan due to a traffic accident. Our entire troop, parents included, attended the funeral as a show of support to the family. Our current eagle candidate dedicated his project to the scout, and tonight, we are having the dedication ceremony prior to our COH.

 

Let me tell you that anything you do for this family will be most appreciated. If you knew the young lady, perhaps you could prepare a short statement. At the least, you could do as we did, and ask all scouts in attendence to stand a give a salute in honor of her ( be sure you all sit together ).

 

Please be sure to educate your younger scouts about appropriate behavior at the event. Probably most of them have never been to a funeral before, so they'll need to understand the solemness of the occasion.

 

Good luck and if the opportunity presents itself, please pass along condolences from a scouter from afar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SSScout]

eweiss:

I would first congratulate you on being as responsible and mature as you seem to be.I can think of no higher honor than to be asked (or to volunteer?) to participate in a service such as this. Perhaps, if it is not to late, you should answer a few questions for yourslf: Did you know the girl? Was she active in the Boy troop as well as the Girl troop? You will be there to honor the girls memory and to give comfort to the family,(obviously a Scouting family). If you speak at the service, speak from YOUR heart, as the Spirit leads, don't worry about formality or ceremonial correctness.

Personnally, I am not sure the flag ceremony is especially desirable, but that's just me. I would first try to remember that she was a GIRL Scout. Their promise and law are similar, but different from the BOY ones. I like the responsive reading suggested by Anneinmpls. Very moving and appropriate.

If it's not too late, arrange a table or bulletin board with photos and letters from camp, poetry she liked (or wrote!),school things. The idea is to remember her life,yes?

Make sure the Scouts (both B & G)come in full dress class A, of course and sit together. I'm sure you won't forget the mom. Some flowers just for her, not just around the bier. Have your PLC ready to do anything to help, direct traffic, help grandparents up the steps, carry and move things. Remind them to LOOK for things that need to be done, and do them before an adult even realizes the need. Do your SM proud.

I pray God bless you all. YiS.

[Lynda J]

This is something I found in my mothers writtings after she passed away in 93. I haven't ever been able to trace it anyone so my guess is that she wrote it.

 

The Parting HOur"

 

There's something in the Parting Hour

Will chill the warmest heart

Yet kindred, conrads, lovers, friends

Are destined all to part.

 

But this I've seen, and many a pang

Has pressed it to my mind...

The one who goes is happier

Than those he leaves behind.

 

God wills it so, and so it is

The pilgrims on their way

Though weak and worn, more cheerful

Than all the rest who stay.

 

And when you part, as part you will,

O, take it not unkind,

If he who goes is happier

Than you he leaves behind.

 

[AnneinMpls]

Found it online...

 

The Parting Hour

By Edward Pollock

 

There's something in "the parting hour"

Will chill the warmest heart--

Yet kindred, comrades, lovers, friends,

Are fated all to part;

But this I've seen--and many a pang

Has pressed it on my mind--

The one who goes is happier

Than those he leaves behind.

 

No matter what the journey be--

Adventurous, dangerous, far

To the wild deep, or black frontier,

To solitude or war--

Still something cheers the heart that dares,

In all of human kind,

And they who go are happier

Than those they leave behind.

 

God wills it so, and so it is;

The pilgrims on their way,

Though weak and worn, more cheerful are

Than all the rest who stay.

And when, at last, poor man, subdued,

Lies down to death resigned,

May he not still be happier far

Than those he leaves behind?