This Has Been Bothering Me All Night!

[OneHour]

I need y'all advice on this one. It has been bothering me for a while as well as most of last night. Last night after the troop meeting, everyone has pretty much left. My son and I waited until our SPL and one other boy get picked up. The SPL's mother finally drove up. She pulled the truck to the curb half crooked. She sat there and insisted on waiting for the last scout to leave. She acted very weirdly, almost too happy mood. She got out and called me to the back of the truck and proceeded to tell me what she has planned as a joke for her son on April's Fool Day. I was almost knocked out by the smell of alcohol in her breath! I'm not an expert, but she is under the influence! We talked some more and as we stood there she wobbled and slipped off the curb. I caught her arm and prevented her from hitting the pavement. By the looks in her children eyes, I could tell that they were worried as if this has happened before. Usually, kids at this age will laugh if someone slips and almost falls, especially their parents. They proceeded to drive off. I felt completely helpless of what to do. This is not the first time that I smell the alcohol off her breath. Thanks in advance.

 

1Hour

[purcelce]

Call the police! Drive the kids home yourself! But for the love of the Almighty don't let mom or dad drive those kids. I would rather have a person be mad at me forever then deal with going to some kids funeral because mom or dad was drunk and crashed.

 

I spent many years married to an alcoholic, so I know from experience.

 

 

[evmori]

Ditto to what purcelce posted.

[ronvo]

One Hour

 

The right thing to do is to not let the kids go with her. It is a very hard thing to do, I know. Yes it may lead to a confrontation and even having the parent pull the kids from the troop. However you have to do it. I know that this is not easy and actually I am saying this as much as a reminder for myself as for you.

 

If the kids seem to recognize this behavior, then you can be fairly certain you may be involved in this way again. I would recommend contacting a professional source locally (i.e. the police, intervention specialist) and ask them how to handle this so that you are prepared next time.

 

Be Strong and Good Luck,

ronvo(This message has been edited by ronvo)

[OneHour]

... yes ... however, I'm not an expert to determine whether or not a person is under the influence. If I accuse her incorrectly, I would have lost the trust from her family and worst off the trust and respect from the SPL! I can't equate that an alcohol breath = drunken stooper! This is a serious accusation. Yes, I did offer to drive them home "in case" that she got hurt from the slip, but she said that she was alright. It was just her bad knee and bothersome 5th lumbar. It is hard (for me any way) to insist that someone is drunk when I don't know that for a fact. I'm not a law officer nor do I play one on TV. I don't have the luxury of having the sobriety test. Throughout the night, the "what ifs" went through my mine at 100 mph! Yes, I do feel guilty that I let them drove off. Should I consult the SM and let him handle it? Our SM is non-confrontational! What a dilemma!

 

Thanks for listening!

 

1Hour

 

 

[John-in-KC]

If you catch her "in the act" again, very quietly pick up the cell phone and call the police. Give them a tag number, where she's departing, and ultimate destination. Letting police know she is driving minor children will get their undivided attention.

 

Someone will make a traffic stop.

 

 

[ScoutNut]

Different states have different laws. What I would advise is to give your local police a call today & ask them what you should do in a situation like you described. Don't name names, just ask as an FYI because you are in charge of a youth group & want to be prepared for different emergencies.

 

 

[SWScouter]

OneHour,

 

I can surely understand why this is bothering you so. I think Ronvo and ScoutNut are giving you very good advice. Call someone with authority to find out the best way for you to handle this situation, especially with another occurrence like last night's.

 

SWScouter

[Kahuna]

I agree that ScoutNut and Ronvo are making sense. Better than a confrontation, I would think. If the kid leaves the troop it would be worse for him.

[t158sm]

"I was almost knocked out by the smell of alcohol in her breath! I'm not an expert, but she is under the influence!"

OneHour. I spent 10 years working in law enforcement and volunteering with the local EMS on the side. I cannot count the fatalities I've been witness to that were due to alcohol.

Yes it would be a bad thing to lose a Scout over this, but how bad would losing his life because of her behavior be?

Call the police. Tell them the situation - ask them to "ride by" and stop to check out something. Ask them to say dogs have been turning over trash cans, someone reported smoke in the area, there was a report of loud music, something, anything.

 

[packsaddle]

I agree with ronvo and ScoutNut. I took similar action years ago while cubmaster. I wish I could say things turned out well but the boy soon dropped out and I have no idea what happened after that.

[OneHour]

Thanks for the advices thus far. I talked to our SM and apparently I'm not the only one who has the same concern. He and I will talk to "professionals" for advices to go forward with. I really hate to lose this scout! He's a 14 years Life who has a lot going for him! He jumped in the SPL role with both feet and off to a good start!

 

Thanks,

 

1Hour

[Scoutndad]

I sure don't envy your position but I think that the advice about calling law enforcement should do the trick...

Also to consider...the other problems that might have contributed to her actions could be being a diabetic with low blood sugar and fruity smelling breath might appear as intoxication OR medication that has impaired the driver. You might want to ask her both of these questions but this should not prevent you from being concerned for the welfare of the children and contacting local law enforcement immediately.

[scoutingagain]

OK, I generally agree with most of what has been said so far. Especially the part about not envying OneHour's position. I also am not an expert. But so far the comments have generally addressed what to do the next time the situation arises. My suggestion is to take some discreet steps to try and avoid a next time. Either talk to the SPL and ask him if there is anyone else that can give him a ride home in the future, or tell him you can drive him home from meetings.

 

But, if the same situation were to arise again, I would agree, do not let her drive off. Offer to take her and her son home or call a cab. If she refuses, tell her you will notify the police. If she still leaves in what you suspect is an impaired state, call the police.

 

Good luck. I know when we agree to the "one hour a week" thing most of us don't sign on for some of the extra baggage that comes with it. I thought I'd work with scouts on stuff like rank advancement, outdoor skills and activities and stuff like that. No one said anything about being family counselors, personality conflicts, youth protective services counselor, guidance counselor, etc. That must have been in the fine print somewhere.

 

SA

[MarkS]

Here's a back door approach...

 

Work with your SPL to invite the local DARE officer to a Troop meeting in the very near future as a guest speaker on drug and alcohol abuse. Don't single out the parent or anything though. It might be a step backwards towards those long gone Webelos days, but this is a safety issue and that's top priority.

 

Maybe the DARE officer can stay until all the boys are picked up.