Spouse thinks scout leaders are geeks

[SeattlePioneer]

Hello Fleetfootedfox,

 

 

D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

 

 

The obvious solution.

 

 

 

 

Seattle Pioneer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and yes, I'm teasing.

 

 

 

 

[baden]

I am so grateful to Scouting for what it has done for my son. When he was 11 he was a chubby, slow, clumsy little kid with glasses. Good student, loved to read, and was totally wrapped up in Civil War history. Nerd. Geek. A very quiet boy. Through Scouting he gained confidence in his physical abilities and gained leadership skills. At 18 he was an Eagle Scout and was voted Outstanding Lineman on his High School football team. Became President of his fraternity in college and was voted one of the 4 Outstanding graduates of his graduating class at his University. He is now in his last year of Law School. I know of no boys that he went to school with who are making a career of sports. I know several boys who were in his Troop that are flourishing in life using life skills not totally learned in Scouting but certainly honed and re-enforced in the Troop. I think a Scout uniform on a boy is at least as significant as a letter sweater.

[frankj]

My son is an Eagle Scout and plays on the school soccer team in the spring and on a club team in the fall. So does a friend of his who is also in the troop. Other boys in the troop are on sports teams. You can do both.

 

As for geekiness or not, it is a matter of perspective. Mrs. Fleetfooted Fox should count her lucky stars that she has a husband willing to volunteer for such a worthwhile organization. There are mothers of boys in our troop who are darn glad there is an organization called Boy Scouts of America and volunteer adults to lead a troop and take their sons on outings and help them learn things that they would have little opportunity to learn otherwise.

[Newbie Den Leader]

Quote from the opening post:

"My wife thinks that I'm reliving my childhood, and she is increasingly embarrassed by it. Unfortunately, the more time I spend on scouting (going to wood badge, etc.), the more she is convinced that her perception is correct. (After wood badge I started wearing the full uniform more and have spent a lot of time working my ticket.)"

 

Make sure you maintain quality and quantity time with your family and most important, your spouse. Scouting is a worthy movement, but not at the expense of a divorce.

 

Are you reliving your childhood? This is a legitimate question for all Adult Leaders. We have to remind ourselves, myself included, that we are volunteering our time for the Boys and not for ourselves. It's not about us, it's about the Boys. Would we still be willing to help out if we could not wear the uniform?

 

You may already have done this, but take some time to show your wife the "core values" of Cub Scouting. My wife does not share the same enthusiasm for Scouting as I do, but she does see the value of Scouting and how it can help grow a young man.

 

 

[fleetfootedfox]

I appreciate all the free advice, but I wasn't really asking for that. I wanted to know if other people have similar situations, and at least one person said he did. I certainly think any mention of divorce in this conversation is a bit extreme. I have known scouters who ended up in divorce, but I'm sure the scouting was not the main reason.

 

Just to clarify, I am not in scouting for myself, although I think that as long as I'm spending the next many years doing it, I might as well enjoy it. After my boys are gone on to college, I may continue being involved in some way, or maybe not. Anyway, I'm certainly not doing it because I get a thrill from wearing the uniform, although when I am awarded a service knot I do wear it proudly (because of what it represents).

 

Also, I did not say that my wife did not appreciate some aspects of scouting. However, she is turned off by people who think it is "better" than sports, and by the parts of the program that she (and many others) thinks are "geeky" (including the uniforms).

 

Personally, I can see both sides of that argument, but I don't like extremes. I think sports teach some values that a boy may not get from scouting and visa versa.

 

I don't personally have a problem with the uniforms, but maybe it is time to consider updating them (again). Originally, they looked like the contemporary uniforms of the day. As one person pointed out, you don't see any modern military wearing neckerchiefs. However, I'm not on a mission to change things. Those decisions are for others to make.

 

Anyway, thanks again.

[Its Me]

 

 

fleetfootedfox wrote:

"I appreciate all the free advice, but I wasn't really asking for that."

 

 

Uh?

 

 

 

 

fleetfootedfox started out with:

 

Spouse thinks scout leaders are geeks

 

 

Then:

In fact, there is a perception among some of these parents that the "smarter and more athletic boys quit Scouting around 5th grade".

 

And You finished with:

 

Maybe I should be writing this to Dear Abby instead

 

 

 

Of course we(the forum posters) will offer opinions and advice based on your intial post.

 

 

 

[fleetfootedfox]

Okay. Maybe part of me did want to hear some advice, but I don't want to be psycho-analyzed. I also said "I don't expect any easy solutions, but misery loves company."

 

I was pretty stressed that day and probably did not express myself well. Sorry for the confusion.

 

As often happens, a lot of people read between the lines and offered advice that does not apply.

 

Regardless, I really do appreciate everybody's thoughts on the topic.

[scoutldr]

My "big reward" came last year (no I'm not dead yet). Met a former Scout mom in a restaurant, and she went on to say how well her son (one of my former scouts) was enjoying Army basic training. His words, "this stuff is so easy...because I already had done it in scouts." (rappelling, shooting, land navigation, first aid, survival, etc) The Drill Instructor immediately recognized his skill and leadership bearing and made him the Squad Leader, helping the other recruits get through. He is now a SPC (E-4) serving in Iraq. I hope that what he got from scouts is helping to keep him and his buddies alive. That's why I'm still a scout leader after 32 years in the program, silly uniforms and all. In some small way, I feel like I'm making a contribution to the country.

[my3sonz]

Haven't you heard?? It is now COOL to be a geek

 

 

[anarchist]

yep, its true we are geeks...and scoutldr, isn't it cool!

last year we had a parent "drop in" to give the troop an update on one of our Eagles who enlisted after high school...he went through basic and started training as an intel specialist...he told his mom everything was soooo easy and he was impressing the heck out of his instructors...He had done much of it as a scout...then the best! They had recommended this young man be accepted to the next class at the Naval Academy, don't cha love geeks!

anarchist

 

P.S. this kid ran state level cross country...geek?...NOT!

[hops_scout]

"P.S. this kid ran state level cross country...geek?...NOT!"

 

No, that just makes him a athlegeek. But everybody wants to be one of them these days;)

[anarchist]

hops_scout,

 

athlegeek?! Love it!

anarchist

[theysawyoucomin']

Last year my son broke the record for the 4th grade 800 yard run by 16 seconds.

 

On a pack of family camping trip my son pitches his own tent, arranges his gear and is self sufficient.

 

When meeting new adults or kids he extends his hand looks people in the face and says hello.

 

He holds doors for those less physically able than himself.

 

He gets great grades in school, plays LL baseball, travel soccor, swims at the YMCA, runs on a school 5k team, obviously in Scouts

 

If every kid in America was like him we'd be going to geekhell in a handbasket.

 

As a leader, some may say I am reliving my childhood.

 

I like to believe I'm facilitating fun, adventure, American values, virtue, compassion,and a manly role model for 10 boys. Some of which don't have a father.

 

As for me I served 4 years on active duty and 9 years in the reserves(Marine Corps(happy Birthday to all you devil dogs)), have been to two small American Wars, have been with the infantry in deserts and above the Arctic Circle(twice). Suffered through many training excercises in many types of weather.

 

But I'm just a geek?

 

I'd better go before I continue the rant with some unscoutlike words directed towards your Mrs.

[mmhardy]

Athegeek...thats my boy. 9th grade, captian of the soccer team, varsity (yes HS varsity track), starts swimming next week. Very active in Scouts. Wears his hair a bit too long for my liking. Likes to wear his green scout pants and Jambo belt to school. Oh and BTW he is considered one of the "cool" kids at school.

[gilski]

I did nothing to support my son in Scouts at first. I too thought it was geeky but would have never said that to him. When I finally made it to a Winter Camp and spent a week with my Son and his friends without Play Station 2 I was hooked. I love the time it affords me with my Son you dont get that if he is in sports alone. We use every Tuesday night to be together and after Scouts we have frosty mug root beer or milk shakes its our time and he loves it.

 

As a teen I was the leader of the cool gang and almost wound up in prison. Fortunately I got involved in Church so I found the right answers but it took ten years. I whish to God I had been involved in Scouts with my Dad.