What would you do?

[anarchist]

FScouter...take all the umbrage you like...(its particularrly good with vinegar)...but you were the one who jumped to a conclusion...I simply demonstrated the objections to your sweeping indictment...But I also offeredwhat I felt were constuctive first step suggestions to mediate NIscouters son's problem.

 

You, with 1 only one side of a story, allegation with only one real incident noted, a parents take on a situation (objective?) concerning a young scout who (perhaps) needs some help maturing ( distressed over lossing an election) and painted a boy and later the SM with a very wide tar brush...

 

So take unbrage all you want...You were wrong to dive into water you hadn't probed first...Like too many others you instantly became...Judge, jury and executioner or perhaps it was just a lynching you wanted ....and if you can't see that I am sorry ...for you.

nuff said

anarchist

decafe if you please

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FScouter]

Well, it could be this, or maybe that, or perhaps if we consider X, and of course if Y then all bets are off. We don't know all the facts, we only have one side of the story, therefore everybody withhold your comments?

 

That all information and details are not known is characteristic of virtually every problem, question, and scenario put forth in these forums. We all comment and opine in reaction to the limited information that is presented.

 

My comment simply is that bullying has no place in Scouting. Your mileage may vary.

 

Now excuse me while I go quaff a few Jolts.

[NIscouter]

My intent with this thread (this is my fisrt chance back) was to open a discusstion about this around our "fire" without telling you what I was doing and try to see if I missed seeing something in all this. My tactic as a parent has been to discuss it with my son (who is only 12 1/2, my mistake) and advise him to try to accept what has happened and be patient, his time will come. I also noted that he should be enjoy being a scout and not worry about being an eagle in the next few years. I have felt that he is moving a bit too fast in the advancement and may be missing the all important experience that the journey gives you. It is sure hard to complain about this to him when he is so darn self-motivated.

 

Bullying - while that may be happening to a degree, I think all boys can be a bully at one time or another. From what I see, it is not excessive and not past the point where serious intervention is needed.

 

Madkins007 - I wish that your observation that a budding teenager should have the facilities to handle this type of stuff was true - I struggle with it myself at the age of, well, older than my son! And part of the problem is the my son has not had enough leadership experience or training within the troop to help him. I am working on the training as part of my ticket, but that is like planting an acorn (yes, a WB reference), a long term pay back. And yes, Ralph is a smooth talker - a politico in the making. If he had done this to get himself in the job, that would be a different story.

 

I do not feel that jumping troops will change much for us - I have read about the experience that CNYscouter is having in this regard. It's like changing jobs - the names and faces change but the bull**** is the same or worse. As a scouter, I have went to great lengths to avoid having this bleed over in my actions with the troop. I feel we are moving the right direction and will see pay offs in the long run, which I want to be around to see.(This message has been edited by NIscouter)

[anarchist]

NIscouter,

 

Bravo, (I said your instincts sounded right)

 

About slowing down an eagle...just have a talk with you son, let him know your concerns ...that he may be missing out on some of the fun in scouting, some of the personal growth by just knocking off "sign offs" and merit badges...but I wouldn't be concerned with 'slowing' him down.

 

You might want to suggest that now he has reached well into the "higher ranks of scouting" it might be a good time to strengthen and polish his scouting skills but perfecting them, buy teaching them. Perhaps he could help the new PL be a better leader. Maybe he could lend a hand to others in his patrol reach a higher rank...you could even suggest that he offer to help "Ralph" engage in the program. indoing that he could teach skills, help scouts advance, maybe make a friend or at lease figure out whats eating Ralph...and in the process he will learn alot about service to others (and learn alot about himself).

 

the "mission" or as some called it Bullying- I think you saw two boys with perhaps typical "issues" between them and as you noted above, not to the level of requiring serious intervention

(again, those instincts!)

 

Dealing with rejection and diappointment...we all need to learn how to "get over it". Any one who says rejection does not hurt is a liar or a sociopath...but these are teaching moments for our boys. We need to help them deal with the matter... not learn to blame others or run away (again your insticts are right)

 

Use stories, parables, the experiences you and those you know have had to teach about dealing with let downs. Help him come up with ways to change the situation and not blame others.

 

At this age (12 1/2) there are (or should be)lots of "Beer moments". That is where you two crack open a couple of root beers and find a wall to sit on and kick your heels for a while, or a porch swing or a drive down a country lane...and just talk about what is going on in his life. Living in the country, when my guys were small we did not subscribe to the Sunday paper...I drove to the little county store every Sunday Morning to get a paper...before breakfast, before church (but not before feeding the horses)...with one of my sons (whos turn is it?) and we would talk...it was only seven miles but some times it took more than an hour to get the paper...

heck sometimes we even missed church...( I think God understood...wife on the other hand...). The point is we made some time to talk about our troubles and how we were handling them...it was a good "mini" tradition

and I miss it. I hope you have some time set aside like planting the acorn, it is worth it.

 

YiS

anarchist