Have you heard this one before?

[encourager]

Hi guys, I woke up about two hours ago with a lot on my mind. Family difficulties, the upcoming holidays (that I love), the end of my semester as I near graduation in May. With so much out of my control, where do I "land" but the current problems with my first year Webelos den. I serve on the committee because honestly I knew when I transferred out of my old pack what I was getting into. I thought people were different but a controller is a controller no matter what pack you belong to. At any rate, my new controller had a nice size den and an ADL already. At the same time, my DL was also the advancement chair. We got past the summer with not too many problems. And then September.

 

She announces that since her family is coming from overseas and the ADL is finishing up the commitment to football we should get back onto a better schedule by the beginning of November. We went to Webelos Woods because I pushed for it seeing that even the ADL's son & husband wanted to go. But no meeting the whole month of November. In the meantime, the controller had a confrontation with new CC about calling the old CC for help with advancements in the month of November. So she has formally resigned from the committee and my "den mates" (as I like to call them) and I haven't heard from the controller or the ADL and maybe there is a meeting tomorrow night, who knows for sure.

 

What does my head say--let them handle it. My son likes scouting but hey sometimes, I have to push him. If this is not meant to go anywhere, well let's just turn the page. But I love scouting for its fun and values. My heart says I want to help so let me start by having it in my house, I'll be the new DL or ADL since maybe the controller has scared off my friend the ADL...And then the everlasting discussion going back and forth. Let go and let God really could be applied here. Maybe I just needed to share.

 

The biggest dilemma is what will we give the boys at the Blue & Gold Luncheon if they haven't earned the Webelos Badge. We covered a couple of points on Citizen and I was told by the committee that most schools have programs on health that would cover Fitness. But there is still more that needs to be done. Being somewhat informed, my son finished Traveler & Sportsman bring the total to 4 activity pins. He even knows the Scout Oath and Law but I don't think it's enough. And I don't want to be singularly doing this. I like the people in my den they're nice people (at times even my controller.) At any rate, I know it's not the end of the world but hey what else could I be doing at 6am??

 

YIS, Sylvia

[SemperParatus]

You are not alone. This scouting stuff has a way of causing sleepless nights.

 

I would suggest having a heart-to-heart with the DL to offer your assistance and share your concerns regarding lack of meetings and advancement. It sounds as if the DL has her own problems and could use some help. If she is not receptive to help, then you need to seek intervention from the pack leadership. If the DL has "officially resigned from the committee" (whatever that means) and has not had consistent meetings for the past three months, then the CM and CC need to be advised of the situation and take immediate action, either to help the DL get back on track or find a new DL. Let them know that you are interested/willing to assume DL responsibilities. If this is a large den as you indicated, maybe it would be possible to split the den with you assuming half of the scouts and the old DL retaining those scouts/families that are okay with the status quo.

 

 

[Lynda J]

Not exactly but close. When I was with the pack and was CC and Advancement had one DL that never had anything for her boys at pack meeting. I couldn't get her to turn in any advancement information. Until May. Then she turned in everything. The sad thing was that by them all but 3 of her boys had quit.

FOr the sake of the boys get this under control now. Talk to the DL, If that doesn't work talk to the CC. If that doesn't work then go to your unit commissioner or district commissioner. If that doesn't work go to the council office and talk to the District Ex.

Then do like so many of us do and take the den over and get things going.

[encourager]

Hi Lynda, you are funny--do what the rest of you guys do and take over. I really don't want to do any enabling (I'm good at scouting and psychological jargon) and I will wait past tomorrow. I reasoned that if I get a phone call today or by 5pm tomorrow for a den meeting with DL, I'm off the hook. But if not, it is enough reason to speak to DL, CC, CM and all those wonderful people "In Charge"

 

Tomorrow will come soon enough---

 

YIS, Sylvia

[Eamonn]

I kinda like this Scouting stuff. It is way up there on my list of things that I value and enjoy doing.

I have over time worked out that it is not the most important thing in my life. Selfish as it may sound I am the most important thing in my life. I need to look after me before I can go about doing stuff for other people. After me comes my family. While I'm a big Lad now, over 21 and can do what I like I have found that discussing things with Her That Must Be Obeyed, before volunteering and keeping her up dated about what is going on and when goes a long way in helping keep the happy home happy. I'm lucky that I enjoy my job. I like the people I work with. After many years of self-employment,I really enjoy paid vacations and my employer paying for our family health insurance and the pay check deposited in my account is kinda nice as well. There are other things that are my big "Rocks". All of which come before Scouts and Scouting.

Please believe me that I have yet to spend a sleepless night because of Scouting.

I am of course me. I don't know what you have on your plate and what is going on in your life. From what you posted you have a lot going on.

I think if I were wearing my District Chairman hat /cap, I would want to solve the problem. You being where you are, I know I would look at you and think you were the answer. You become the Den Leader and I move on to the next problem.

One problem us nice people in Scouting have is the word No. We allow people to talk us into doing things and adding things until we are doing so much, that if we ever do burn out or quit, we will leave behind so many unfilled positions and upset so many people, that just makes leaving even harder.

It really looks as if the Den Leader has gone bye-bye. Her leaving was her choice. The Den lives on. Who the new Den Leader is, should be in the hands of the pack nominating committee or maybe the pack committee. They should come to you and ask if you want the job? Your answer will depend on lots of things and how things are going in your life.If you decide that you have the time and decide that Den Leading is your cup of tea, that is all fine and dandy. If you decide that now is not the time for you, there are other positions you might want to think about if not with the pack maybe at some other level.

Getting up early to watch the Long Island dawn is a nice thing to do. Being up worrying is not nice. Go back to bed, watch TV or read a book. What happens next to the den is in the hands of the committee and the Gods.

Eamonn.

[encourager]

Words of wisdom, E. I do have a lot on my plate and take my word for it, everybody sees me as the solution to the DL problem. But I have fortunately learned when to say NO. If I didn't say no, I would not be as happy with scouting as I am.

 

But good news, everyone, ADL called DL and the rest of my den mates, and we all met tonight. DL needs the den to feel better about what's happening on the Adv Chair stuff and as far as I was concerned I was content to say good-bye to my son and pick him up 1.5 hrs later. They didn't really do anything that I would absolutely feel that had to get done for the Webelos Badge but they made some crafts to give out to the community and I am at peace. After all, I'm not stressed and my son had fun.

 

As usual, you guys were there when I needed you--Thanks

 

Sylvia