Mental Health: Prepared to Care

[AwakeEnergyScouter]

1 hour ago, 5thGenTexan said:

Scouts catching paper towel rolls on fire and tossing them in people's yards

If this was indeed a case of bullying, I want to to be properly documented.  I am the CC and I won't tolerate bullying or it being swept under the rug.

W H A T???

I'm definitely no authoritarian, and I think this is crazy. It's one thing to ignore conventional dress, hair styling, wearing the uniform or other superficial things, even if they're symbolic. Throwing rocks at other scouts and throwing burning objects into other people's yards is a hard $&-#&$ NO. (I mention this for moral support from someone these leaders might fancy themselves being like.) Asking for scouts not to commit assault and arson is not equivalent to wanting scouts to be ROTC. Not in the slightest.

Good for you for being willing to do the right thing for a potential bullying victim! Authority absolutely has to deal with this, and if adults in charge have already failed to do so then it's all the more important that you do. How fortunate that you are there!

The reason I think it does matter if the scout is gay is that choosing that word to use as an insult will likely roll right off a straight scout, but could hurt a gay scout in a way it probably wouldn't a straight scout in the long run. Basically, the harm is likely to be worse if the scout is gay. I'm thinking here of my lesbian friend who has had so many homophobic encounters with random people that she gets very stressed any time a stranger deliberately gets close to her. Having stones thrown at you for your sexual orientation compounds with what others do and say in a way that having stones thrown at you for a made-up reason doesn't. 

In either case, good for you also for making sure that you have all the information you can get, particularly since the adults may or may not be on top of this.

[T2Eagle]

2 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I know the "Adults" that were there have a history of having no interest in the rules.  Scouts climbing 20 ft trees, Scouts catching paper towel rolls on fire and tossing them in people's yards, Scouts being unsupervised, and the list goes on.  That is a topic that will be address soon.  I have been told in the past by the SM if I want a lot of discipline in the Troop I should find a ROTC program to join

To answer your question I do not trust that the adults in camp address the issue per BSA guidelines because they are not trained.  If this was indeed a case of bullying, I want to to be properly documented.  I am the CC and I won't tolerate bullying or it being swept under the rug.

I believe that all that is true.  My advice stands: talk to all the adults, the leaders and again the parents, before you talk to the scout.  If you talk to the scout first, and he recounts essentially the story as you know it, where does that leave you?  What are you going to tell the scout is going to happen next?  Are you going to promise to punish the scouts?  Promise to punish the adults?  

You have enough of the scout's perspective for now, in order to take any action on behalf of the scout you need all the other information available. 

This can, probably will, get very unpleasant very quickly.  You want to proceed purposefully but cautiously.  Listen to everyone first, then consult with people you trust or need to trust, like your COR and DE, before announcing what is going to happen or what you want to have happen.

[scoutldr]

There is ZERO tolerance for hazing or bullying in the BSA now.  It is a Youth Protection violation.  Review your training and responsibilities and act accordingly. If your fellow "adults" do not agree with the rules, they need to be removed.  Period.

[AwakeEnergyScouter]

51 minutes ago, scoutldr said:

There is ZERO tolerance for hazing or bullying in the BSA now.  It is a Youth Protection violation. 

As it should be. Bullying is not friendly or kind, so it's 100% incompatible with our values and immediately makes it impossible for a pack, den, troop, or patrol to function well.

Scouts is the last place anyone should be bullied. Thinking about 5thGenTexan's story about being bullied out of scouts makes me sad every time I think about it. One of the key functions that adults can perform in scouting is this - deal forcefully with bullying so that the victims don't have to. Or don't have to quit.

[T2Eagle]

BSA Bullying Prevention Guide

https://filestore.scouting.org/filestore/training/pdf/bullyingpreventionguide.pdf

Edited August 1, 2023 by RememberSchiff
fixed link

[5thGenTexan]

20 hours ago, T2Eagle said:

I believe that all that is true.  My advice stands: talk to all the adults, the leaders and again the parents, before you talk to the scout.  If you talk to the scout first, and he recounts essentially the story as you know it, where does that leave you?  What are you going to tell the scout is going to happen next?  Are you going to promise to punish the scouts?  Promise to punish the adults?  

You have enough of the scout's perspective for now, in order to take any action on behalf of the scout you need all the other information available. 

This can, probably will, get very unpleasant very quickly.  You want to proceed purposefully but cautiously.  Listen to everyone first, then consult with people you trust or need to trust, like your COR and DE, before announcing what is going to happen or what you want to have happen.

My first step is to find out from the Scout what happened.

One of the leaders at summer camp was the SM.  The SM who I heard from4 feet away tell Scouts they either help do dishes OR start doing pushups.  The same SM that told Scouts last week to work on boring MBs during meetings and finish in the next 2 weeks OR else just continue doing boring classroom meetings till they finish.

I do not trust the judgement of the adults that were there.  I NEED to know what happened first hand from the Scout at this point.  IF I find out this was indeed a serious bullying / hazing thing and the adults did not report it to the committee as soon as they got back, then yes we may have an adult leader issues as well.  Not anything to do with this particular issue, but from not properly following procedures.

 

I might add, I wont allow my kid to leave town on any sort of outing with our adult leadership unless I am there.

Edited August 1, 2023 by 5thGenTexan

[scoutldr]

In today's environment, this unit is a ticking time bomb...I would distance myself.  If you are the CC, have a heart to heart conversation with your COR.  They have approved these leaders and are the ones at risk here (as well as the Scouts).  If I remember my training, you are also required to report these incidents to the Scout Executive.  Good luck.

[SiouxRanger]

On 7/30/2023 at 10:38 PM, SiouxRanger said:

Well, one can start with the feelings in one's gut.

I do not understand LGBTQ+. Nor am I any of those.  (And maybe I've missed a group, or two.)

But I do know that everyone wants to be recognized by their name, and to feel included and accepted by those they have selected to associate themselves with.

Like joining Scouts.

"You are welcome here."

Scouting was once described to me by a Professional as the place everyone can participate all of the time.

Skill and ability were not required.

INTEREST in participating was the only requirement.

I am convinced that one's orientation is genetic and/or chemical.  And that none of us ever had a choice. We just picked up the cards (after delivery), and all was then set in stone.  How one acts according to the cards so dealt out to them, that is another matter.  And how society reacts is another level of the situation.

And the LGBTQ+ individuals.

They are individual human beings, with family, friends...

and they are among the least protected and least able to protect themselves.

Pretty sure LGBTQ+ folks did not consciously decide to make themselves social pariahs.

But that is where they find themselves.

They are oriented as they are.

And so those of "accepted" orientation pounce upon the weak.

And claim "Victory" over the hapless.

So, as a faith-based organization, what happened to the Biblical sentiment, "That which you do the least of mine you do to me."

Everyone I've ever met, they are just "trying to get through their day." And most of their days are chaos.

Strange, virtually no response.

[5thGenTexan]

48 minutes ago, SiouxRanger said:

Strange, virtually no response.

Personally, I dont really care about a person's uhhh affiliation...  if that is the right word. People are who they are. I make my judgements based on one's character.  I will fight for them though when others decide to cause harm because of who they are. 

Edited August 1, 2023 by 5thGenTexan

[AwakeEnergyScouter]

1 hour ago, SiouxRanger said:

Strange, virtually no response.

Of course that was all true, but there wasn't much to respond to in terms of how to right the wrong exactly. Of course it has to be righted, for the reasons you articulated, but the question is how to deal with the situation skillfully so that the right thing really happens. (Bully stops bullying, victim feels welcomed and supported by the whole group.) 

What response were you expecting?

[johnsch322]

8 hours ago, T2Eagle said:

BSA Bullying Prevention Guide

https://filestore.scouting.org/filestore/training/pdf/bullyingpreventionguide.pdf

I read this but I would add one additional thing, have any therapy offered for free to the bullying victim. Not all parents have this covered in their insurance plans and it is costly. BSA could buy a blanket policy to cover this expense. 

[5thGenTexan]

So,,, the Scout told a different story than he told his parents.  

If nothing else we have some bad behavior issues.

 

[5thGenTexan]

22 hours ago, scoutldr said:

In today's environment, this unit is a ticking time bomb...I would distance myself.  If you are the CC, have a heart to heart conversation with your COR.  They have approved these leaders and are the ones at risk here (as well as the Scouts).  If I remember my training, you are also required to report these incidents to the Scout Executive.  Good luck.

I think I am ready to bail.  Not sure if I want to find a new Troop, start a new Troop (Ive formed a GT with little to no help), or see if my kid even wants to continue.  But I am done with this group of adults.

[AwakeEnergyScouter]

17 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

So,,, the Scout told a different story than he told his parents.  

If nothing else we have some bad behavior issues

Is the scout doing ok?

The adults sound like a train wreck, but how is the poor scout doing?

[5thGenTexan]

40 minutes ago, AwakeEnergyScouter said:

Is the scout doing ok?

The adults sound like a train wreck, but how is the poor scout doing?

He seemed fine.  He was ready to go back out and do whatever they were doing in  the meeting.  <shrug>