I Don't Know What to Do...

[5thGenTexan]

As CC I already have issues with the way the SM is running our program.  

Won't let any training of youth happen... like helping them understand what leadership positions actually mean, how to run a PLC, how to plan a meeting, doesnt care about discipline.   I was told that because I want the Troop to operate like its designed and we need to call out poor behavior I should maybe look for a ROTC program or something.

 

Last weekend at Camporee there was one parent and a committee member going through station with the boys.  SM and ASMs decided to stay in camp and work on the trailer and/pr sit under a tree.  I arrived late because I had some personal business to take care of that morning, but as soon as I got to camp I joined our GT as I was needed as a leader there.  Boys and Girls were in the same rotation so, I could be there for both the rest of the day.

When I arrived....

I found a group of 5 boys outside the archery range carving on a stick at the edge of the woods.  None have Totin Chip, I checked on that today,  They didnt WANT to do archery, so they just decided to play off alone and not be a part of the Troop activities.  I nipped that in the bud.

Then I jumped all over a Scout who let out a really loud "Shut the F...."  

Lots of other f bombs being thrown about I was told as well.

Additionally, many things were "lame", "gay". and or 'retarded"

Later during the First Aid activity the Scouts chose not to use a carry method, but rather pull the Scout along the ground by one leg.

 

Throughout the day I was embarrassed by their behavior and appearance.  (SM's kid did NOT wear a uniform all day, but chose a pink Magellan fishing shirt)

 

At this point, I don't know if I lay down the law and tell the SM to get it together and make him mad or just leave.

 

[sst3rd]

5th Gen Texan,

 

It's too late. I'd just leave.

I did.

 

sst3rd

[fred8033]

Different people are look for different things in a troop.  

I like the idea that the scoutmaster is comfortable staying at camp as the scouts go thru rotations.  The idea is the scouts have their experience.  They should NOT be followed around by adults.  That's cub scouts.  ... But, that's my opinion.  Also, if they don't earn the advancement or win the camporee, that's fine.  That was THEIR choice.

Flip side is bad behavior in scouts is hard to change.  Cussing.  Swearing.  Bad attitude.  Bad behavior.  ... Sometimes that only changes over time.  Sometimes it only changes with a new set of scouts.   AND, avoiding the older scouts teaching too many bad habits.  

Perhaps the example you had with first aid.  Dragging the scout by the leg for first aid.  IMHO, that reflects a scout that does not want to be there.  That happens.  Often, it's the committed volunteers who's kid does not want to be there.  

There is a magical mix in scouting.  When it works, it's great.  When it doesn't, it is frustrating. 

 

One point ... don't drag out decisions or try to force change.  If you don't like how the SM is doing it, are you ready to find another SM?  Or another unit?  Our kids are only young for a short time.  The time in scouts is even shorter.  

Edited April 3, 2023 by fred8033

[qwazse]

Talk to the CoR, move to replace the SM unless he chooses to deliver the program as intended.

The lack of discipline causes inherent risk, and -- as the boys are realizing -- erodes at the fun youth should be having.

It's possible that the adults don't want to shape up, and the CoR is enabling. Take a load off you shoulders, turn in the CC patch and direct your attention to a troop whose members are trying to be scout-like. In this case, it sounds like that's the girls troop.

I had to stop advising my crew because the majority of boys in it were not maintaining personal discipline, and they didn't want to work through what needed to change. There was one boy who I felt lost out because of his fellows' behavior. But, trying to keep things together when everyone else was not being sincere enough to effect change would have made things worse for him.

I miss that crew, but the troop needed lots of help.

Edited April 3, 2023 by qwazse

[InquisitiveScouter]

 

4 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I was told that because I want the Troop to operate like its designed and we need to call out poor behavior I should maybe look for a ROTC program or something.

Who told you this?  One person or multiple?  SM or other?  Do other parents/leaders in the Troop feel as you do?

[Eagle94-A1]

3 hours ago, fred8033 said:

One point ... don't drag out decisions or try to force change.  If you don't like how the SM is doing it, are you ready to find another SM?  Or another unit?  Our kids are only young for a short time.  The time in scouts is even shorter.  

 

Concur 100% You can read about some of the challenges I've encountered with one troop. At first manageable, but with new families coming in, gto to the point I back out. Kids said hey were having fun, but both wife and I noticed  changes in personality. Scouting was slowly becoming frustrating, instead of fun for them. Getting away to a new troop that was Scout led helped tremendously,

[Tron]

The number of issues you have pointed out at one event are clear indicators that the problem is the other leadership and not you. It does indeed sound like your troop is not functioning within the guidelines of the program. I think you should raise the same issues you noted here with your COR, and then have a subsequent meeting with the COR and the SM; it's not you vs the SM, it's not you or the SM goes, it's you or the totality of non scout like behavior have to go.

[5thGenTexan]

I have pretty much made the decision that I am not going to recharter in December.  

I am just tired...

[InquisitiveScouter]

Transferring is no cost.  Do you know of another good unit nearby?

[fred8033]

11 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I have pretty much made the decision that I am not going to recharter in December.  

I am just tired...

I am sorry to hear that.  I've been there too.  We become heavily invested in our kids and in volunteer programs that have such good purposes.  Then, when the program doesn't happen smoothly or near our ideal, it really hurts.  It saps energy.  It saps happiness.  

It's okay to back off.  It's okay to only focus on the more fun stuff.  When it happened to me, I tried to always know the ideal that my brain said the program should happen, but I mainly focused on getting my scouts out and having adventures.  By doing that, I had enjoyed scouting much more.  AND, I think my scouts grew more too.

I think scouting is hurt by the strong Norman Rockwell image and the detailed well reasoned program training materials.  So many good volunteers become heavily committed to "this is how the program should work".  ...  My opinion has changed some recently.  I agree with the program training materials, but IMHO ... just getting the scouts out and being active is much more important.  Keep 'em safe, but keep 'em busy having adventures.

Edited April 10, 2023 by fred8033

[PatB34]

Every Troop has it's own personality.  Finding a good match is in many ways like finding a good marriage.  When you find the right match, you'll know.  

We all hate giving up on things, but life experience has taught us that some things can't be changed in a reasonable amount of time.  

If your troop isn't a good match for your youth, find or make a better one.