CC or CM’s Personal assistant?

[Momleader]

In a bit of a dilemma.  I’ve been Pack Committee Chair for the last 9 years.  
I’ve been actively trying to turn over the position to any other parent who would step up.  Problem is the CubMaster has been actively giving me assignments of things to do for the pack - parents see this and don’t want to take that on too.  Fist it started out as picking up things at Costco for pack events since I have a membership and setting up meeting times with the CO so we have space.  It’s turned into ‘anything CM doesn’t have time to do and his wife doesn’t have time to help him with because she’s busy with their children and w part time’  

Now I’m stuck wondering if I just outright quit or should I continue to try and find anyone else to take this role on.    Seeing as my own have aged out of the troop I’m feeling like they are taking advantage of my willingness to help in the past  

[AwakeEnergyScouter]

We're all busy with work and our own children. You, too, right?

Does the CM ask or command? It sounds a bit like they're telling, not asking. Not a good working vibe to set in a group of volunteers. Does he ask you to make the coffee, too? 🙄

What is the rest of the committee doing? Are the DLs and any ADLs not running errands and making calls? If the CM asks you and only you despite having others to ask and you've had enough, then you've had enough.

If there's not much else of a committee, then perhaps it's time to name the elephant in the room and point out that unless you two can get more parents involved, the pack risks folding. Two busy adults isn't enough in the long run regardless of how you share the work. And part of that might well have to be for your pack parents to see that CC is a limited time commitment. I don't know, you're the one with the insight into the situation, but if you're not willing, you're not willing. Emotional blackmail (either from yourself or others) doesn't improve the situation.

Our CC runs errands and helps run meetings, but I'm pretty sure that's what he understood himself to be signing up for so he's good with it. And he has a kid in the pack.

[InquisitiveScouter]

Army guys People are lazy, and they will let you carry their water as long as you are willing to carry it.

There is really no dilemma here.

Set a deadline for your departure (recommend no more than 60 days from now.)  Stick to it! 

Announce to the COR and Cubmaster that, as of that date, you will no longer be with the Pack.  Stick to it! 

Tell everyone that you have asked, for some time, for someone to take the position, with no takers.  Give them your departure date.  Mass email, committee meetings, or whatever method of communication you use...  Stick to it!

At each and every meeting, announce your impending departure date.  Stick to it!

On your departure date, send out your email or other notice thanking everyone for the opportunity to serve, and that you will take some great memories with you.  Stick to it!

After your departure date, forward Pack business emails to the COR and Cubmaster.  Do not add anything to them... just forward.  After your departure date, if anyone calls you about Pack business, politely tell them you have left your position with the Pack and give them the COR and Cubmasters phone numbers or other contact info.  Stick to it!

It will take a few weeks, but soon all contacts will dwindle to a trickle, then to nothing.  Personally, I'd give it three weeks after departure, and then I'd ignore all Pack business emails...

Learn to say "No."  Amicably, but firmly.

Thanks for serving the Pack and Scouting for 9 years!  Enjoy your retirement!

Edited March 28, 2023 by InquisitiveScouter

[MattR]

Just remember that the cub master reports to the committee chair

This sounds like a bad working relationship. My guess is the CM has no idea you're burned out. The only reason you're sticking around is for the scouts. That's really good of you, up until it explodes.

My suggestion, for the continued good of the scouts and your sanity, is prepare yourself to educate the CM on what he's doing to you and any future CC that you can't find. Be honest, firm, and kind. Leave your anger at the door. Remember the scouts. Remember that he's likely burned out as well. Talk about ways to get more adults to help out.

And then after all of that, follow @InquisitiveScouter's exit plan.

Good luck.

[InquisitiveScouter]

P.S.  It is nice of you to do, but it is not your place to name your replacement.  That is COR business.  Of course, you can ask and help, but it is the COR's signature on the application.  Period.

I followed this exit plan when I was departing as the Scoutmaster.  I gave them one year advanced notice, and gave a reminder at every Committee Meeting.  I gave my recommendations to the CC and COR for who from the ASM Corps could be my replacement.  I talked with each of the ASM Corps about taking the job.

No one did anything until I announced in my Scoutmaster's Minute, "Scouts, it has been wonderful working with you!  This is my last meeting as your Scoutmaster!  I look forward to working with you guys as a Merit Badge Counselor, and from time to time as an Assistant Scoutmaster.  The Chartered Organization Representative and Committee Chair will announce who the new Scoutmaster is as soon as they have finished their selection.  See you on the trail!"

It was actually funny that, after all my admonitions for the year, the parents and other adults in the room had a look of genuine shock on their faces.  People hear what they want to hear, I guess...

They had a new Scoutmaster named by our next event that weekend.

And there were no hard feelings 😜 

Edited March 28, 2023 by InquisitiveScouter

[fred8033]

This is a common pattern in scouting.  The next volunteer does not step up until the current person leaves.  It happens all the time at all levels in scouting.  

Set your date.  Communicate it.  Move on.  

At some point, the current parents need to step up and fill the void.

[DuctTape]

29 minutes ago, fred8033 said:

This is a common pattern in scouting.  The next volunteer does not step up until the current person leaves.  It happens all the time at all levels in scouting.  

Set your date.  Communicate it.  Move on.  

At some point, the current parents need to step up and fill the void.

It happens in many organizations. Sometimes it is necessary to create a vacuum to generate movement.

[scoutldr]

I agree with the others.  As long as you keep showing up, they have no incentive to find a replacement....which is the COR's responsibility, not yours.

[SSScout]

What they said.....

 

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Edited March 30, 2023 by SSScout

[Ojoman]

It is always best to 'go by the book' but reality often has very similarity to what the book says.... in my experience most chartered partners have little to do with 'their units' except to provide a meeting location and sign off on the charter. Usually the original IH and governing body that chartered the unit is long gone, sometimes for decades and the present folks 'inherited' the unit and seldom pay it much attention. Years ago I announced at roundtable that I (their new DE) would be making my IH visits and the volunteers should let me know if there was anything they wanted me to discuss. On Scoutmaster asked that I not inform the IH that they 'owned' the unit as the IH only thought that they met there and the SM liked it like that. True that the CR approves the adult applications but most CR's are often picked by the unit people instead of appointed by the IH... again, reality vs 'the book'. The committee has a big role in leadership selection and should reccomend the new leaders to the CR and IH. At the unit level the CC really has most of the authority since the committee is the business arm and the CM/DL's are the program arm of the unit. Good Luck...