Adults bullying adults

[feistyscoutmom]

My child has been in scouting for some time now and during that time the old pack master that is now cc has never liked me and has accused me several times of gossiping about the pack and members when she has gotten misinformation from other people. I recently recieved a very nasty text from the cc stating that if I didn't quit she would kick out my son even though I haven't done the things she has accused me of but she has been very condescending towards me and even bad mouthed me to our now pack master. Is there anything that can be done about this?

[MattR]

Welcome to the forum, @feistyscoutmom .

18 hours ago, feistyscoutmom said:

the old pack master that is now cc has never liked me and has accused me several times of gossiping about the pack and members

Why?

18 hours ago, feistyscoutmom said:

I recently recieved a very nasty text from the cc stating that if I didn't quit ...

Quit what? Do you have a leadership position? Will your son have to go as well?

19 hours ago, feistyscoutmom said:

... she would kick out my son

A CC that uses a child as leverage to remove an adult is a mess.

Clearly, you and the CC don't get along. But let's face it, you picked the name @feistyscoutmom. Is it possible that you're both a bit feisty?

Scouts is a volunteer organization of loosely affiliated organizations. There are units that belong to chartered orgs. There are councils that don't really like getting involved in people problems in units. Technically, your pack belongs to the chartered org so they might be a start of where to find someone that wants to get involved, if they're at all interested in getting involved in this. Technically, the CC is the one that's responsible for filling leadership positions in the pack. That said, scouters in a unit is really a group of people that just need to get along with each other. So the question to ask is how do a group of volunteers solve their people problems?

My suggestion is get some third party involved or just walk away. This battle isn't worth it because I suspect nobody will win.

 

[InquisitiveScouter]

Unfortunately, once someone forms a negative opinion or perception of you, you aren't really gonna be able to change that in a short time.  And, it largely depends on whether that person is open-minded.

"Is there anything that can be done about this?"

Sure... leave it alone for now.  And ask yourself, "Why would they think I am a gossip? or Who is giving them this misinformation?"  If you are a gossip, stop.  If you know who is gossiping about you, avoid them and read this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201612/8-things-do-if-youre-the-target-hurtful-gossip

Worry about your character rather than your reputation. (Someone said that, but I'm not gonna google it just now...)

 

[qwazse]

Something has clearly got blown out of proportion.
Do your best to iron things out. Get help if need be. 
There’s more to life than scouting, you have quite a few years of parenting ahead of you, and you all will be seeing each other in your community.

[Mrjeff]

Keep in mind that the Pack exists for the kids.  But, the grown folk need to have fun too, because negativity spreads like cancer.  If your boy is enjoying it and likes the other guys you may consider stepping back and let him enjoy the pack.

[feistyscoutmom]

Thanks for all the advice! Part of the problem is other people giving wrong information and making me look bad. After talking to my pack master about it, I think I'm going to try and leave it alone for now and just watch what is said around other people.

Edited October 28, 2022 by feistyscoutmom

[Mrjeff]

That is probably the best solution.   Scouting is a great thing in a lot of ways, but some folks are full of self importance and ego.  If you keep the kids first I think you'll be just fine.  Best wishes and God bless.

[FireStone]

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but removing a scout without a reason specific to that scout (behavior, bullying, dangerous actions, etc), is probably not something that a CC can do. They can ask a leader to step down, or eventually remove a leader, but removing a scout without cause seems like a stretch of the CC's authority. At least not without the COR rep being the one to say the scout has to go.

[InquisitiveScouter]

3 minutes ago, FireStone said:

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but removing a scout without a reason specific to that scout (behavior, bullying, dangerous actions, etc), is probably not something that a CC can do. They can ask a leader to step down, or eventually remove a leader, but removing a scout without cause seems like a stretch of the CC's authority. At least not without the COR rep being the one to say the scout has to go.

You are correct.  Even a COR should not remove a Scout without cause.  If they do, the parent should get the DE involved for resolution.

If leaders bump leaders, council isn't going to weigh in.  If you take adverse action against a Scout, they should get involved.

[Mrjeff]

In my understanding you are correct and the CC is not putting the kids first. I think some volunteers are in their position because they believe they are in charge and can boss people about.  They focus on authority rather then their responsibility to every kid in the unit.