Scouting Corruption and issues

[Krad]

For background, yes, I do have neurological disabilities, one of them being Asperger's. So, in 2017, I was beaten during a scout meeting. Not a single leader did a thing about it. I no longer trusted the leaders, who hated me to begin with anyway, and so I was not very cooperative, and was very hostile (being beaten up and then blamed will do that). Then, one of the kids in the troop who had a grudge against me became the Senior Patrol Leader (obviously there were conflicts of interest). Due to my use of bad language (Everyone else used horrible language, but they were not scolded like I was. From them, it was ignored. From me, I was punished.) due to bad language, my mother, who was also not being treated the best by some of the parents (some of which were in her workplace and some had higher positions, so that was an issue) was given two options: Either be there for every event I am at to supervise me, or I have to leave the troop. This went on for about two months, until the hoard of parents who had a vendetta against me and my mom, spoke with each other, as well as the new Senior Patrol Leader, who wasn't a big fan of me, to say the least. One thing after another, my mother received a letter in the mail stating that both of us were kicked out of the troop and permanently banned. Fine by me, because I had already signed paperwork to join a new troop who was a lot more welcoming, but I digress. Back to the issue with the other troop. When we spoke to an attorney to see what action we could take, we were told that there was none, and that due to the troop having seceded from the national organization, due to the troop being their own private troop, we couldn't take action against the whole, but rather would have a mountain of legal paperwork for individual lawsuits. Something tells me that the leaders in the troop had spoken to that same attorney, and I wouldn't put it past them. They were those type of parents you would see in the movies who had a lot of influence, and when you work against them, they ruin your life.

TL;DR

I have aspergers, and I was a target a lot of the time.

Badly beaten during a scout meeting sometime in 2017 (don't remember the exact date).

My foul mouth got me in some trouble, whereas the other kids got off scott-free.

I didn't trust the leaders because they not only didn't like me, but did nothing about my physical assault complaint.

My mom was told that she either had to watch my every move at every second I am at a troop event, or I get kicked out.

Internal corruption yet again, this time with a leader who hated me being put into the mix of the influential parents who had the potential to ruin my life in that small town.

My mom was given a letter saying I was permanently kicked out of the troop.

The attorney could do nothing about it.

DIsclaimer: I have redacted all names and troop numbers due to privacy issues. I am NOT looking to take legal action (all of this happened 4 years ago, I don't want a legal mess)

[T2Eagle]

Krad,

Welcome to the forums.  I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience, I hope your new troop was more welcoming.

You correctly label what you saw as corruption, one of the definitions of which is "the action of making someone or something morally depraved or the state of being so."

Unfortunately as you go through life you'll find that there is lots of corruption in this world.  Just because someone belongs to an organization, be it a church, a school, scouting, government, etc. that should be a place of virtue doesn't mean it will be.  And just because someone belongs to a good organization or claims to live by its virtues doesn't mean they do or will.  You will also find, as you did with your troop, that there often isn't redress, and this can be maddeningly frustrating.

The best you can do often is learn to recognize quickly situations and people that aren't good, or good for you, and put them behind you quickly.  Broadly, people don't change, and the phrase "cut your losses and move on" should always be in your mind as a possibility.  Find a few friends that are good for you, and be good for them.  Your responsibility is to be the best person you can be.  You are not responsible for fixing the flaws in others.  Challenging as all that is, finding good people, and especially being a good person, is the surest road to a happy and contented life.

Another important thing to remember in life is that there are many times when you need help coping with the bad parts of it.  This isn't a sign of weakness it's a sign of maturity.  When you need help, go find it.  If four years later you're still bothered by this experience go talk to a professional about it.  If you're in school now there are almost certainly people available for that kind of counseling, and if you're not, start with your family doctor and ask for a recommendation.  There are also lots of helplines, internet referral services, etc. that can help you find the help you, and virtually all of us at some point in our lives, need.

Hope this helps.

[InquisitiveScouter]

Greetings @Krad!

Yes, a horrible situation you have been (are still going) through.  Not much more to add to what @T2Eagle has said, except...

The statute of limitations for assault and battery in NC is three years, so, as I understand it, there may be no recourse through a  criminal complaint.  If this had been done at the time by your parents, then there is something the local council (national would let them handle it) could have done.  Without more facts, it is hard to tell...

So, what is it that you want to happen now?

 

[Krad]

2 hours ago, InquisitiveScouter said:

Greetings @Krad!

Yes, a horrible situation you have been (are still going) through.  Not much more to add to what @T2Eagle has said, except...

The statute of limitations for assault and battery in NC is three years, so, as I understand it, there may be no recourse through a  criminal complaint.  If this had been done at the time by your parents, then there is something the local council (national would let them handle it) could have done.  Without more facts, it is hard to tell...

So, what is it that you want to happen now?

 

So, this incident happened in Arkansas, I no longer live there. Not sure what the penalty is for aggravated assault is in Arkansas, or conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, or hate crime on the basis of disability. I don't want to take legal action. This incident happened in 2017. What I WAS told by the attorney was that this incident WOULD show up in the future for that troop. Not sure if it appears when someone signs up for that troop, or what will happen. If a documented incident takes place, does it show up for future potential members?

Edited October 29, 2021 by Krad
Personal identifiable information retracted

[Krad]

3 minutes ago, Krad said:

So, this incident happened in Arkansas, I moved to North Carolina in 2019. Not sure what the penalty is for aggravated assault is in Arkansas, or conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, or hate crime on the basis of disability. I don't want to take legal action. This incident happened in 2017. What I WAS told by the attorney was that this incident WOULD show up in the future for that troop. Not sure if it appears when someone signs up for that troop, or what will happen. If a documented incident takes place, does it show up for future potential members?

Also, the initial thing we were looking at was discrimination (kicked out after many unfair disciplinary actions combined with the physical assault, causing me to be uncooperative with the leaders)

I was kicked out for lack of cooperation, but it goes beyond that, and disability was one of the things; they were not accommodating as required (I didn't really need it, but they were required to provide certain accommodations anyway).

As well as that, they easily let everyone else rank up fast. For ME on the other hand, they made it extra difficult for me to rank up, between tightening the reins for the requirements (They basically had the attitude of "If it is not done step-by-step, word-for-word matching the book, even in the slightest,") between that, they made me go over the top and then more, just for something to be signed off.

They made me do that, prove it, not once, but three times. They made me repeat the requirements, really pushing me.

And yes, I am calling this unfair treatment, because this was never done to anyone else. They just thought that because of my disability, I would be "too dumb to catch on," and one of the reasons for removal was because, according to them, I was "Incompetent," and furthermore had "Underlying moral problems."

So my main complaint is the disability. Sure, the attack was bad, but just how they dehumanized me and demoralized me, AND degraded my mother in many ways, that was worse.

[InquisitiveScouter]

I wish I could offer some words of compassion or advice that would improve your situation and help you. 

What you describe should not have happened.  It was not Scouting, and I hope you have experienced a better outcome at your new unit.

[WisconsinMomma]

This should be a lesson to all troops for what to watch out for.  All bullying is unacceptable in Scouting.  It can be too easy to see scouts with differences as "a problem" and to pressure scouts and parents to leave.  Physical abuse needs to be stopped immediately. Our Youth Protection Training teaches this, but leaders have to be vigilant and have to stand up for ALL YOUTH. 

[seguru]

Krad,  Sorry for you and your mother for what you experienced.

What you described is the "same old story" simply told in a different way.  The REAL story (question?) ultimately is... "How do you fix a broken unit?"   Sadly, the correct answer is that you usually don't/can't and it's usually better to simply leave.    As the saying goes, "People vote with their feet."  If a unit or its leadership stinks, the unit will fold...as it should...  until caring and committed people step up to rebuild and do it "right", but you don't want to be wasting your limited Scouting years being in the middle of all that muckedy-muck and drama.

I've been in Scouting for 22+ years in a wide variety of roles from Cub Den leader, Cubmaster, most of the leadership roles in the Boy Scout troop& Committee, and even several positions within my District Committee and Unit Commissioner roles.      COUNTLESS are the times people have tried to "fight City Hall" and FORCE a unit to "change", or be that annoying nag who sends 3 page-long emails that on one reads.  Ultimately they end up leaving and going elsewhere.    Rare are the cases where District Executives will come in, declare something is a gross violation of BSA Policy, and push the Charter Organization to change out the adult leadership (it does happen.  My current troop did that in 2005 and I was part of the team that came in and rebuilt it into something great), but you simply can't count on people "of authority" having the courage & conviction to do right thing, especially when part of the District Executives compensation is measured by how many units are in operation.    (Conflict of interest?  You betcha, but it's the way of the world sometimes.)

What you got was an EDUCATION on how to NOT run a troop and how NOT to treat people.   I hope your move to another unit offered you the opportunity to focus on enjoying your limited Scouting years and getting what the Program was supposed to deliver for you.

  

[Ojoman]

This sounds really strange... If accurate I feel for the young person with multiple neurological disabilities but if the 'troop' is not part of the BSA then this is not a BSA issue... ("the troop having seceded from the national organization, due to the troop being their own private troop"). No outside group can use our name and insignia without affiliation.