When Scouts Becomes Too Much

[5thGenTexan]

I think this may be the only place where people may understand.  I have an AOL boy who will crossover soon.  I have a 13 year girl in a new Girl Troop I helped create.  Girl Troop meetings are at 6:00 and I'm there.  Boy Troop meetings are at 7:30 and AOL has been welcomed by them to hang around.  So one night a week I'm there for 3 hours,  AOL den meetings are on another night and I'm there because I'm DL,  One night a week the Boy Troop committee mtg is right after my den meeting.  So I'm there 3 hours on those days.  District RT once a month.  Once my boy crosses over we will have once a month camping for him and my Girl in the GT.

Is it bad I'm feeling like it's too much? I'd like weekends to maybe see a movie or take a day trip someplace. Every weekend we have camping we all go so it involves boarding the dog.  

Scouts is important but I feel like it's taking over our lives.

[David CO]

13 minutes ago, 5thGenTexan said:

Is it bad I'm feeling like it's too much?

It is too much.  I would never ask a parent to take on more than one leadership position at a time.  You have been a parent long enough to know that you can't help with all of your kids' activities.  They know it too.

 

19 minutes ago, 5thGenTexan said:

Every weekend we have camping we all go so it involves boarding the dog.  

This clinches it.  Dogs should be treated like royalty.  

 

[Oldscout448]

Tis better to do one or two jobs well, than to do four or five jobs poorly.

 

[fred8033]

... and ... you (I assume) have a spouse and a job.  You need to save time and energy for both.  Be careful.  Don't let scouting cost you a promotion or a marriage.  Seriously.

[livitup]

Allow me to share a recent experience...

I had avoided being an adult leader for many years, despite my natural tendency to answer the call. I really wanted to be a Scouter, but I wanted my kids to get the same benefits of Scouting that I did - namely the opportunity to interact with peers and adults outside my parent's eyes.

When I finally volunteered recently it was like the floodgates opened.  I'm slated to be the founding Scoutmaster for a Girl's troop that is linked to an established Boy's troop.  But on top of that, I wanted to do everything that wasn't currently being done, because folks like you and I see gaps and try to fill them.

But then our committee chair stepped in.  God bless 'em.  I was told I could only take on one role at a time. So despite the fact that there are open Committee positions, I will not take them. I'll serve as an ASM to the Boy's troop until we get our Girl's troop chartered, at which point I will transfer my registration and serve solely as their Scoutmaster.

My Committee Chair empowered me to do one thing well.  As a person who has always tried to do everything, and usually ending up performing poorly, this was liberating.

[MattR]

20 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

Scouts is important but I feel like it's taking over our lives.

Taking over? Sounds like it already took over for you. Ask your wife.

I know of many people that got in too deep, never said no, got burned out and then got angry. They left scouts, never to help out again and are bitter as well.

To be honest, I've seen this often enough that I've come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with the program. It takes too many adults to make it work.

[fred8033]

On 9/28/2021 at 7:38 PM, MattR said:

Taking over? Sounds like it already took over for you. Ask your wife.

I know of many people that got in too deep, never said no, got burned out and then got angry. They left scouts, never to help out again and are bitter as well.

To be honest, I've seen this often enough that I've come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with the program. It takes too many adults to make it work.

Sad but true.

[SiouxRanger]

On 9/28/2021 at 7:38 PM, MattR said:

To be honest, I've seen this often enough that I've come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with the program. It takes too many adults to make it work.

Hallelujah.

And very complex.

About 14 levels of rank the cub and boy scout programs. (Arrow of Light might be 15)

Many requirements for achieving each rank.

Merit badges:  required, elective, alternate required merit badges.  Many merit badge requirements.  (Some requirements for required merit badges have 90 time requirements-DO NOT MISS THOSE!)

All manner of non-rank awards, achievements, certificates, training. (BSA lifeguard, kayaking, OA, etc.)

Lots of advancement record keeping.

Scout account and unit financial record keeping.

A single program where the adults have to have the skills to deal with scouts of kindergarten age through seniors in high school.  And many age groups attend the same meetings, events, etc., requiring adults with likely little training in recognizing and interacting with scouts at different age and maturity levels, sometimes having to shift gears many times in a single evening or scouting event.

Youth Protection rules, Guide to Safe Scouting rules, boating event rules, all the various training-weather, wilderness first aid, CPR training, National Camp School, recommended/required training for each unit position--retraining as various training certifications expire...

High Adventure bases-a whole other level of complexity:  adult leader required training, minimum age requirements, medical forms, body weight to height requirements, physical training....

 

Reminds me of a Robert Heinlein quote, the last line of which is:

"Specialization is for insects."

 

[InquisitiveScouter]

9 hours ago, SiouxRanger said:

Reminds me of a Robert Heinlein quote, the last line of which is:

"Specialization is for insects."

 

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Love that quote...I still need to learn how to set a bone   Of course, my computer programming skills have perished, too,  since college with BASIC, COBOL, and Pascal...dang I'm old...

[HelpfulTracks]

Only you can determine what is too much for you.  That, or if you end up dropping the ball and others need to scale you back for the sake of the program. 

But, you certainly should not feel bad if you start to feel that way. You should strive for quality of service, not quantity. 

I have overloaded myself before by not saying "no" when asked to do something. Learn to say NO and not feel bad. Again, quality not quantity. 

When asked to take on a new role I ask myself a series of questions;

• Does my current service load feel to heavy (overwhelmed), is just about right, or could I do more (always looking for other things to do)?
• What is the real amount of time to do the job well? Thee hours a month? Thirty hours a month? More?
• Will my new service add to the program in a quality way?
• Will my new service negatively impact service I am currently giving?
• Will I enjoy it?
• If I take on the service, is there anyone I can recruit, train and bring along to do the job after me?

Also, saying yes or no is not forever. There is always work to be done. No today, could be yes tomorrow and vice versa.

I have held too many positions at the same time in the past, holding unit, districts, council, chapter and lodge positions at the same time. It almost burned me out. 

So I scaled back, finding and training my replacements.

It is also cyclical, after being overwhelmed and scaling back, I found myself missing the work and wanting more. Only to add a couple of roles before needing to tap the brakes a year or two later. Now, I am about right, or maybe looking for a bit more, but knowing some of my council work has been slowed due to Covid and is starting to pick up again. 

As I tell my scouts, this is your scouting experience. Do not let others dictate to you what it should be or what you should or should not do, what is too much or not enough.  Find what makes you happy and go with that. 

[Eagledad]

On 9/28/2021 at 7:38 PM, MattR said:

Taking over? Sounds like it already took over for you. Ask your wife.

I know of many people that got in too deep, never said no, got burned out and then got angry. They left scouts, never to help out again and are bitter as well.

To be honest, I've seen this often enough that I've come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with the program. It takes too many adults to make it work.

And if some here have their way, more will be required for YP.

Barry

[Armymutt]

For me, Cub Scouts is exhausting.  A big portion of this is that our pack is so small, I've had to do multiple jobs to keep us afloat.  We doubled our size in the past month, so we're offloading jobs.  Got a new ACM, Pack Secretary, and Pack Treasurer to take to load off.  I'm still CM and Lion DL because our Lion den has 2 kids, one is mine, the other our new Treasurer's.  Still really intensive, especially since my kids are the ones causing the most disturbances in a pack meeting.  Had a camp out with the OA a couple weeks ago.  Very refreshing to be on a camp out and not have to yell at someone.