Adult leader accused of sexually harassing female parents

[Armymutt]

We're trying to recruit members of a pack that is not rechartering.  One of the parents said she was done with Scouting because an adult leader was sexually harassing her and other mothers.  Our committee chair knows her from another organization and has convinced her to come to our pack.  The issue is that the adult leader in question is on the district staff and is the parent of a Scout in the presumably defunct pack.  There is concern that he might try to join us.  So, what do we do?  The harassment was reported to the District Scouting Exec, but nothing came of it.  

[Wëlënakwsu]

Packs do not have to accept any one who volunteers to be a leader, even if they are a parent or district staff.

None of our business, but if someone gave a report to a DE and was not satisfied with result and my opinion was sought... I would suggest reporting to Chartered Organization. 

 

[Armymutt]

The CO apparently didn't care - good ol' boy thing.  The issue to me is that if this is happening, in light of BSA's current issues, why is this individual still on the district staff?  

[CynicalScouter]

10 minutes ago, Armymutt said:

The CO apparently didn't care - good ol' boy thing.  The issue to me is that if this is happening, in light of BSA's current issues, why is this individual still on the district staff? 

If a BSA employee is sexual harassing people, go straight to national.

[Armymutt]

He's a volunteer.  

[yknot]

4 hours ago, Armymutt said:

He's a volunteer.  

I had a UC who while he wasn't actually sexually harassing anyone had some pretty offensive views about the role of women which he shared freely. He's still there. Largely because he's the only person willing to volunteer to be a UC in the District. 

[DuctTape]

Sexual harassment is likely a criminal act in your State. Encourage the parent to call the authorities. The Council will have a difficult time ignoring a volunteer with a criminal complaint especially right now. Unfortunately it is likely the parent will balk at the notion with one of many reasons. 

[David CO]

On 3/18/2021 at 9:08 PM, Armymutt said:

One of the parents said she was done with Scouting because an adult leader was sexually harassing her and other mothers.  

First, it needs to be established that it was actually sexual harassment.  I had a baseball mother lodge a complaint of sexual harassment because someone asked her out on a date.  She didn't want to be asked out on a date at baseball game.  She thought it was inappropriate.

Guys and gals have to be able to approach each other socially.  Not a good idea to do it at work.  People at work are there to work.  Best to leave the socializing for social occasions.

Is scouting a social occasion?  I would say yes.  As long as the approach is appropriate and decent, I have no problem with it.  If someone won't take no for an answer, we have a problem.

[DuctTape]

1 hour ago, David CO said:

First, it needs to be established that it was actually sexual harassment.  I had a baseball mother lodge a complaint of sexual harassment because someone asked her out on a date.  She didn't want to be asked out on a date at baseball game.  She thought it was inappropriate.

Guys and gals have to be able to approach each other socially.  Not a good idea to do it at work.  People at work are there to work.  Best to leave the socializing for social occasions.

Is scouting a social occasion?  I would say yes.  As long as the approach is appropriate and decent, I have no problem with it.  If someone won't take no for an answer, we have a problem.

Agreed. The investigation of an alleged crime is in the purview of law enforcement and the juducial system. If the parent believes the actions rise to the level of harassment it behooves her to file charges and let the investigation ensue. 

[qwazse]

On 3/18/2021 at 10:08 PM, Armymutt said:

The issue is that the adult leader in question is on the district staff and is the parent of a Scout in the presumably defunct pack.  There is concern that he might try to join us.

It must be nice to have the luxury to fret over a “might try” of anything. But since you asked ...
Your committee chair does not have to let anybody sign on as an adult leader to his committee. If you have a parent or two who the CC respects enough to welcome into your unit, their needs come first over someone who has wrongly approached a parent.

Scouts is not a social event for parents. It’s where we teach young people how to forestall death. Have some of us made life-long friendships that have outlasted our kids’ time in scouting? Yes! Would I call them out if any of them made any of our scouts’ moms the least bit uncomfortable? (Of course, I approach this from the venturing perspective. Moms willing to lean into the program are few and far between.)

Somebody can be a district volunteer for a lot of reasons, one of which could be nobody wants him/her to lead their unit.

[David CO]

58 minutes ago, qwazse said:

Would I call them out if any of them made any of our scouts’ moms the least bit uncomfortable?

Is that the standard now?  The least bit uncomfortable.  

The women in the teacher's lounge make me cringe sometimes.  Their conversations can get down-right raunchy.  I just quietly get up and leave.  Consequently, I spend very little time in the teacher's lounge.  They sometimes comment about how I avoid the teacher's lounge because of their conversations.  They think it's hilarious, and make a big joke of it.  Nobody has suggested that they should clean up their conversations so I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable at work.

 

[qwazse]

On 3/20/2021 at 8:51 PM, David CO said:

Is that the standard now?  The least bit uncomfortable.  ...

Not really. The standard is "Who is going to contribute the most to den life?"

• A mom with a negative experience (in her mind), but willing to give a different pack a try, or.
• A "might-join" adult with district credentials, but not much else going for him.

The guy's pack folded. If it mattered to him and his kid, I would have expected a phone call yesterday. The DE has phone numbers.

Same would happen if some single dad left a pack because some ladies kept pestering him about dating.

Now, it could turn out that @Armymutt's parent-victim and her friends do push boundary's and lead a guy on at the expense of their kids. But I'd give the benefit of the doubt to the person who actually signed her kid up before treating this as a case of no-matter-where-you-go-there-you-are.

[David CO]

3 hours ago, qwazse said:

Not really. The standard is "Who is going to contribute the most to den life?"

• A mom with a negative experience (in her mind), but willing to give a different pack a try, or.
• A "might-join" adult with district credentials, but not much else going for him.

Sorry, but I think that is a terrible answer.  It should be about right and wrong, not about who is most valuable to the unit or council.  In many cases, this is how BSA got in so much trouble, siding with the people who contribute the most.

 

[qwazse]

17 hours ago, David CO said:

Sorry, but I think that is a terrible answer.  It should be about right and wrong, not about who is most valuable to the unit or council.  In many cases, this is how BSA got in so much trouble, siding with the people who contribute the most.

 

Note: I'm not asking to lock the guy up (as others have suggested). I'm saying that:

1. Scouting is not a dating venue. Intimate relationships may form among single parents/guardians, but it takes a long time around a lot of campfires.
2. The Mom who actually signed her kid up gets the benefit of the doubt. This is the boots-on-the-ground perspective for the CC/COR of a pack receiving the kid. Whatever the DE may have adjudicated (or not) for a different pack is irrelevant.
3. The fact that I am disregarding the dad's role at a district level should be sufficient to support that I am not siding with people who "contribute the most."

For the OP, my approach cuts two ways. I wouldn't care much for the dad. I also wouldn't be bothered with what the district did or did not do about it.

[Armymutt]

I got a bit more detail on the situation.  The committee chair noticed that a lot of Scouts with single moms started dropping out.  She contacted them and found out that they were having the same experience she was.  The individual, who is married, was proposing a three-some with the consent of his wife on camping trips.