Pack dilemma

[jsychk]

Hello! 
 

I am with my Pack for 7 years. We used to be a strong pack because the cub master was very strong, dedicated but a bit demanding. Some adult volunteers got ticked off and left. The staying one argued and fought with him at the leadership meeting. However, the program was rich for the boys because the cub master made things happened. 

Now, we have a similar issue with the popcorn kernel who does more than a popcorn kernel. She means well. Her hard work helps the dying pack to gain 10 members and possibly volunteers. However, she is a bit aggressive, talk over people, has her own mind to run...or they said out of control. Our chairwoman left the pack because she couldn't stand her (talking over her and ignoring her wish). Yesterday, the new membership coordinator stepped down because of her, too.

The cub master has a full time job that keeps him very occupied so the popcorn kernel helped a lot by planning everything for the first pack meeting. She tried so hard to recruit new people and do fund raising at the same time. She spent a lot of her time organizing and planning for the pack because she doesn't want to lose the new people's interest. But the other leaders are not happy with her because she constantly oversteps her role and "order" other to do things. They got so annoyed because she keeps sending long texts/emails several times a day.

Since she is so capable, dedicated and enthusiastic, I suggest that she should be the new chairwoman (filling the empty position to solve our re-chartering problem and legitimizing her behaviors since she is into everyone's business anyway). However, the cub master said if she does, other leaders will leave. 

If you are an experienced cub master, what would you do?

Edited September 17, 2019 by jsychk

[scoutldr]

The Cubmaster should continue delivering the program to the boys through the cadre of Den Leaders.  Committee operations and choosing a new chairman is not his/her role, as Cubmaster is not a committee position.  The COR recuits and approves the committee chair, then the two of them form the committee as needed.

 

[Eagledad]

She is a Type "A" personality micro manager that has a lot of maturing to do. What you need is a CC that will filter her communications and direct her energy.  She can't help herself, but you do have a great resource there with the right director. As chairman of committees, I recruited these people because they are very productive.

Barry

[jsychk]

For us, the cub master, treasurer/assistant cub master, advancement chair (me), chairman (left) are the committee members. I guess the COR should be the committee member, too.

Long story short...we couldn't find any church/organization to charter us after the change of the BSA rules. Finally, we found this local business organization that is willing to sponsor our Pack. However, they don't get involved at all. Their representative did't do the online training. They did one fundraising for us, which I think it's more for their business' public relation. 

The CC (mom) left because she couldn't handle the popcorn kernel (mom). I like the CC (mom) because she  was a treasurer, popcorn kernel for her oldest son's troop in the past. She knows how the scouting works. Her oldest son is an Eagle. However, she told me that she couldn't handle the popcorn kernel because she never listens. 

Popcorn kernel (mom) doesn't have any prior scouting experience. She has the drive for sure. She gets things done. Like Eagledad said, she is very productive, organized and efficient. Although she talks over me and comes on strong sometimes (she demands every scout to do certain hours of selling popcorn as a rule), she doesn't bother me as long as we get things done. 

The cub master is new and a little inexperienced in the leadership role, although he is a Life Scout. He drafted the annual Pack activity agenda. Like this weekend (4 more days to go), we supposed to have a Pack hike. We don't know where or when. Popcorn kernel is antsy. New people emailed her and asked. She wants to create the signup genius because she wants to get the information out to the Pack so everyone can plan for this weekend.

The treasurer is a retired military old guy. I admire and respect him. When our Pack had the crossover ceremony last June, it was a mess because the cub master couldn't attend at the last minute due to his job. A den leader stepped up without any preparation and it was chaotic. After that, the treasurer decided to step up to be the assistant cub master as well. He understands this dynamics (popcorn kernel is productive) but he also gets upset by her. 

I am leaving next February as my kids will cross over to BS. 

Edited September 17, 2019 by jsychk

[Eagledad]

I'm not sure where you can fit in this situation if you are leaving. You could call a meeting to work toward a solution. You are dealing with a person that can only be controlled by someone she respects and doesn't want to disappoint. Otherwise she will drive everyone crazy, which can lead to all kinds of bad things. Is there someone who has personal skills that will get her attention without disrespecting her? That person can be delegated to direct all the committee members and require all emails go through that person for distribution. At the very least, find someone willing to be the single point of information distribution.

Barry

[jsychk]

Actually, I think I am that middle person right now. Last night, cub master talked to me about the membership coordinator stepping down. He kinda wanted me to contact the popcorn kernel and talked to her about it. I texted her, and she called me. I told her that she's overwhelming us,  coming on too strong or with tons of emails/texts. However, her explanation makes sense to me because it's really nobody is stepping up and leads. I basically see both sides of view. In August, we had a scheduled activity that was totally missing because nobody was in charge. 

I don't think I can even be that single point of information distribution because one time she tried to call me for something  scout related. I was in an important meeting so I declined the call. She immediately called me again & again so I finally turned off my phone. I bet this will drive others crazy. But after my meeting, I texted her back. She was fine, not mad at me or anything. 

Edited September 17, 2019 by jsychk

[WisconsinMomma]

This is tough.  I left a cub leadership role last year because a newer leader was a perfectionist who did not appreciate that others are volunteering and who make mistakes.  I retired and chose to let a younger group lead and now it is in their hands. Like you my youngest is going to Boy Scouts. 

 

If i had to do it again I would have had.l a private conversation with her about realistic expectations for a volunteer group with various personalities. I was worn out and decided to go. 

In our case, I had just given a lot of work for a camp weekend and then felt reamed out in front of the committtee by the new person because the next pack meeting started late.  But no one was communicating that time concern on that day.  It was too much. I had five years in leadership and I was not going to take harsh criticism after working so hard. 

People need to understand that Scouting takes the cooperation of many to make it work. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2019 by WisconsinMomma

[qwazse]

Some of our troops parents hung back as Pack committee members, so don't take that option of the table if it's weighing on you.

This over-assertive leader is not CC material. She needs a mentor who can gently but firmly guide her in improved communication skills.

But, your bottom line is you have a CO who doesn't realize how much the pack represents them. If they did, they would lean on an employee who they trust to be a little more assertive in the "hiring and firing" of volunteers. This is probably partly your doing because you had to scramble to find a roof. No matter. Every effort the CC makes to build a better relationship with the COR will have its return in terms of getting adults to work better together.