Potential loss of COR

[ncscouterz]

I hope this is in the right place. I am one of the Key 3. So it looks like we may be losing the COR of our troop and pack, she is one of the parents.  She said that she was done with the complaining of all of the parents (other non scout programs as well). I really don't know what happened, she changed so much so fast.  She seems to be a my way or the highway type of person where she asks for help for stuff and then completely takes over, changes it, gets mad when she has to do it. She wont take suggestions and if you do suggest something you are one of "those" parents.  She has literally done everything for the troop, not because people wont volunteer but because she just does it. Advancement records, rechartering, organizing events, everything.  I have tried speaking to her about it and I believe I am on her list of  bad parents.  I get short answers with everything, "are you okay," "no". "Anything I can help you with" "no", etc.  Part of me is dreading if she leaves because we have always had someone to do those things but the other part of me thinks it could be a positive experience because some things really do need to change.  I do worry about our chartered organization too, it is our meeting place and she is the one with the keys and no one else is really involved with them.  

If she does leave can I get a general list of things that we will need to continue our program like passwords to what sites, important dates to know, etc. etc.  I want to see our organization thrive and grow.  Also any suggestions and advice would be greatly appreciated.  

[skeptic]

Are we speaking of the COR or the CC?  COR's are the link between the charter organization and the unit and would normally not be overly involved in much of what you note?    You should be able to get the things you need, but that is not saying you will if she is stubborn or something.  Good luck, either way.

[SSF]

17 minutes ago, ncscouterz said:

She seems to be a my way or the highway type of person where she asks for help for stuff and then completely takes over, changes it, gets mad when she has to do it. She wont take suggestions and if you do suggest something you are one of "those" parents.

And you're saying her leaving would be a bad thing...?

Edited March 13, 2019 by SSF

[Eagledad]

Kind of sounds like the only threat here is the keys into the building. That can be worked out. 

Barry

[qwazse]

@ncscouterz people often do have to "step back". Your COR has hit that wall where her idea of how things should be done clashes with what volunteers actually do.

Time to talk with the CO's institutional head (IH) and see who else can step in the gap. Really, the only replacement for the COR is a new COR. So, you have to make clear that you all will not ask as much of the new person. Expect it to be a little rough as you and the other adults have to take some of the responsibilities. This mostly means getting to know the CO a little better and understanding who expects what to happen.

[ParkMan]

Hi @ncscouterz,

Some great advice above.  Just a couple of things to add:

1) I've found that one of the best ways to make your unit's organization thrive is to decentralize responsibilities.  Start looking out for an advancement coordinator, membership coordiantor, activities coordinator, etc.  First, it helps in these transitions.  Second, it helps prevent individual leader burnout.  Third, you end up with better results than one overstressed person doing it all.  Unless you're a master adult recruiter it won't happen instantaniously - but over a year or two it's very achievable.  I'm a pretty terribly adult recruiter, so it took me a bit longer.  I'm going to gather your the Committee Chair, so it is entirely your place to make this change.

2) For your overstressed COR.  Go buy her coffee or dinner and talk.  Help her find the fun of why she started.  She may be too burned out to appreciate it, but I've found that often when we get passed all our volunteer responsibilities, there's almost always a real person there who got started for a reason.  Maybe by restructuring how you all do things you can help get to a place where she'll be happier and play a bit more nicely with others.

[HelpfulTracks]

Change is tough, regardless of if is welcomed or  not. Just embrace it with a cheerful spirit and make it as positive as possible. 

Change in COR vs CC bring different challenges. But it sounds like this COR is basically doing the roll of CC and possibly some CM/SM duties as well. That will likely impose some greater challenges, but may also open some great opportunities as well.

[David CO]

7 hours ago, ncscouterz said:

 I really don't know what happened

Nor should you. 

Ideally, the COR acts under the direction of the IH and Chartered Organization. It is not always appropriate for the COR to disclose or explain everything to the unit leaders. Some discussions are kept in confidence with the IH. 

It is possible that the COR was acting at the request of the IH. She might be stepping in because the IH asked her to step in, and she might not be happy in that role. Just a thought to consider.

When she steps down, the IH will appoint a new COR. Let the new COR decide how things will be done as far as the keys, passwords, etc. are concerned. These would be appropriate decisions for the new COR to make.

 

 

[FireStone]

Where does she currently manage things like advancement? Is she the only person with access? Kind of unusual that in a whole troop there would only be one person tracking advancement records in Scoutbook or something like that.

If she hypothetically left and handed over nothing, you'd still be ok. It might take some digging but you'd be able to get access to your unit records with Council. Same for anything charter related, rostering, dues payments, etc. Keys can be replaced.

This might be a headache in the shirt term but it will be a blessing in disguise long-term. Once you get access to what you need, whether from her or Council, I'm sure you won't make the mistake she did and keep it all in one place. Get a bunch of people signed up on Scoutbook to share the advancement tracking. Get any key logins/access shared among your core leadership to help manage everything. It will be fine.