Taking my daughter on camp

[ScottishNaomi]

Hi all, I have an issue I'd like resolved regarding my daughter Charlotte .

She goes on numerous guides camping trips mainly to get to know the other guides from other areas and, due to the fact it can get cold, especially at night when they are around the camp fire singing songs and generally interacting, I always try to ensure she is wearing her warm jacket and has it done up but she refuses point blank to wear it so I leave her to her own choice but she then complains to me whilst I'm tucking her in bed, that she is frozen.

Any tips?

[ScoutTN]

Troll.

I've seen her post the same thread on other boards. Most recently on a homeschooling forum.

[ScottishNaomi]

3 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

Troll.

I've seen her post the same thread on other boards. Most recently on a homeschooling forum.

Eh, I have not been on any other site, think you have the wrong person! 

[RebekahTN]

If you figure it out, let me know. My 7 year old is the same way. She will wear nothing but a light jacket even when it snows, unless she is playing in it. I have her take her bigger coat and leave it at school so if they are outside for an extended time she has it, if she gets cold. (It is REALLY more so that the teacher realizes, yes, she has a jacket, she just refuses to wear it. If you can get her to, more power to you!)

I have to do the same thing about shoes. She takes her shoes off as soon as she gets in the vehicle and/or home. Sometimes it's not worth the fight (she is number 7 - so I have learned many years ago to pick my fights). If we are going into Wal-Mart in 40 degree weather and she is fussing about putting on a coat I tell her she doesn't have to put it on BUT she has to take it with her. Not because I think she will freeze to death before we get inside but because I don't need the evil eye, stares and comments from others. LOL

[ItsBrian]

There are plenty heavy coats that are thin and not bulky. I’m 15, and I personally hate bulky winter coats. I wear a Calvin Klein coat that has worked perfectly all winter for me. 

[Treflienne]

On 3/26/2018 at 3:43 PM, ScottishNaomi said:

She goes on numerous guides camping trips mainly to get to know the other guides from other areas and, due to the fact it can get cold, especially at night when they are around the camp fire singing songs and generally interacting, I always try to ensure she is wearing her warm jacket and has it done up but she refuses point blank to wear it so I leave her to her own choice but she then complains to me whilst I'm tucking her in bed, that she is frozen.

Any tips?

I found your scenario a bit confusing, possibly because of the difference between the Girl Scouts and the Girl Guides on the two sides of the Atlantic.

If I understand right:

You live in Scotland.

Your daughter, age 6 is a Brownie in Scotland, and you are an assistant in her group.

Your daughter camps with the Guides.

You are along on these camping trips, and you tuck her into bed at night after the campfire.

Here are my questions:

1) If she is age 6,  isn't she the age to be a Rainbow, not a Brownie?

2) If she is a Brownie (or a Rainbow) why is she camping with the Guides (age 10+)? Are you using "guide" as a general term for any member any age of GirlGuiding?  Or is the Brownie Pack camping together with the Guides.  Or are you also a helper with the Guides, and she is tagging along as your daughter?

3) Why are you tucking her in at night?  Is this a mother-daughter campout and all the Brownies have their mothers along to tuck them in? If not, and you are there as her leader, not as her mother, then shouldn't you be treating her exactly the same as the other girls? And surely you aren't tucking in all the girls?  (In Girl Scouts of the USA we were strictly told that the adults were not to enter the girls' tents, even for Brownies.)

4) Just how cold were these nights?  Freezing (32F = 0C)?  Cool (50F = 10C)?

So it is a little difficult to give specific advice, because the description in confusing, but that partly might be because of the different countries and Guiding/Scouting organizations.  So please clear things up about how things work in Scotland.

 

[ScottishNaomi]

First things first, yes, I am using "guides" as a general term and no, she is in Brownies not Rainbows :). 

Next thing, no, it's just my daughter that I tuck into bed which the leaders have no problem with! 

And finally, the nights get below 0C.

[The Latin Scot]

Why are you "leaving her to her own choice?" You are the parent! Children at this age are not yet old enough to make appropriate choices that will keep them safe and healthy; your job as her mother is to train her in how to make the right choices in the first place, and to help her know what the right choices are. Put her in her jacket and lovingly, but FIRMLY, explain to her WHY she is going to wear it, and that she IS GOING TO WEAR IT. Don't deny her the blessing of having parents who care enough about her to ensure her comfort and safety, whether she is willing to accept it yet or not.

Edited March 28, 2018 by The Latin Scot

[ScottishNaomi]

Sometimes I do just tell her she has to wear AND do up her jacket. 

[Tampa Turtle]

I did not realize she was 6. Still a bit young to complete understand the natural consequences of freezing weather and since they have a different surface area to mass ratio I think they chill easier. So yeah "You Have To". 

[ScottishNaomi]

How do I get her to zip it up though Tampa, do I do it myself? 

[Treflienne]

Hi @ScottishNamoi,

I am going to break my advice into two parts  1) to you as Mom and 2) to you as Brownie Assistant Leader

1) First, as a mom: we want to help our kids grow up and take or more and more responsibility for themselves in an age-appropriate way. Choosing one's own outdoor wraps is a great way to work on this for younger children. In general I think that age six is not too young to begin working towards the goal of the child independently and appropriately selecting her outerwear, and living uncomplainingly with the results.

In a non-camp setting, for example if your children want to go play in the yard, in 35F degree weather, in the snow, in short sleeves, then you let them do this, and make no comment at all when they come back inside in 5 minutes to fetch coats and hats.  (And if they don't come back in 10-15 minutes, you go out and check up on them. But if they are running around they might not be cold.)

If the child will be away from home for several hours, then, at this age, I would insist she take her coat (maybe in a daypack) but not insist she wear it.  She can decide for herself when to put it on.

If the weather is extreme (for us, below zero Fahrenheit (-18C) will typically only occur only a few days a year) then provide more supervision.  Enforce appropriate clothing if needed.

31 minutes ago, The Latin Scot said:

ensure her comfort and safety, whether she is willing to accept it yet or not.

Absolutely insist she do it your way if it is safety issue. (frostbite, hypothermia). But if it is merely a comfort issue, let her do it her way and learn from the results.

This process may take several years and will generally involve her being uncomfortably (but not dangerously) cold or hot at times, as the child makes her choices and learns to live with them.  Complaining at you needs to be discouraged.  Remind her who decided what she should wear.

2) To you as Brownie Assistant: Here my advice is based on GSUSA Brownies, take what is useful and leave the rest.  At camp you are there for all the girls, not just your daughter.  You need to (figuratively) take off your Mom hat and put on your leader hat.  So you should treat all the girls the same way.  If you are reminding your daughter about her coat, don't do it any differently than you would for the other Brownies.  Better yet, have another leader (whose daughter does not have coat problems) deal with all the Brownie coat issues.  She can (depending on the weather circumstances) either a) remind them to think about whether they want coats or b) tell them all they need to take coats with them or c) require them all to put their coats on.  Talk this strategy over with the other leaders in advance. This is what we did when camping with Brownies -- any girl asking for help was directed to a leader who was not her mother.

 

[Tampa Turtle]

13 minutes ago, ScottishNaomi said:

How do I get her to zip it up though Tampa, do I do it myself? 

Zip ties?

Actually get another adult to tell her or better yet an older girl. They are always much more likely to follow the directions of any one but a parent.

Edited March 28, 2018 by Tampa Turtle

[ScottishNaomi]

No, zip up her jacket. 

[Treflienne]

On 3/26/2018 at 5:58 PM, ItsBrian said:

There are plenty heavy coats that are thin and not bulky. I’m 15, and I personally hate bulky winter coats. I wear a Calvin Klein coat that has worked perfectly all winter for me. 

ItsBrian has a good point here.  It might be worth making sure she has a coat, hat, and mittens that she likes.   At this age, maybe she wants the pretty pink winter mittens and not the black battered hand-downs from the older brother.   Depending on your budget,  it might be worth getting her something she likes if it makes life more peaceful for the family.