JoeBob Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Lyft and Uber offer ride alternatives to absent parents. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattR Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I would have taken the scout to my home, assuming my wife was there, and put him to work helping me unload stuff. An opportunity to get to know him better. And when the parents show up I'd gently confront them on the fact that I had talked to them and they did say they were going to show up, and trustworthy means something. Then I'd drop it. Do all that in front of the scout and you'd embarrass all of them to the point that it would never happen again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSScout Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Favors can be done, and with a smile. If you truly feel you have been "played", then how do you think the Scout feels? Scouting may end up being the example, the ideal this youngster needs. I have traded favors with the parents of Scoutson's friends and with no bad feelings. I did them a favor, I can expect one the next time I need some help. I might approach these folks in that vein. "Drop Johann off at the Grandmom's? Kept him at our house until you can come? Glad to help. " Oh, by the way, I have this pile of debris I need to take to the dump. Could I borrow your pickup and your back?" If Johann Scout has parents that really don't know how to parent, or somehow resent his "drag" on their life, well perhaps you can be the better example for him. After all, we are Scouting for the kids, not really for the parents.... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roberthynesii Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 17 hours ago, JoeBob said: Lyft and Uber offer ride alternatives to absent parents. Sir, I hope you are joking. I would never deposit a scout in an Uber, Lyft or taxi and consider it good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roberthynesii Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Being and setting the example is a hard road to walk. Hopefully we can drag the parents along, while providing a great example for our Scouts to follow. Sometimes it works and other times........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CodyMiller351 Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 You definitely need to have a talk with the parents. We are not a day-care service. They need to be they on time, if not early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSScout Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 12 minutes ago, roberthynesii said: Sir, I hope you are joking. I would never deposit a scout in an Uber, Lyft or taxi and consider it good. Oh, the times they are a-changing (or changed...) Waaaay back when I was about 7 or 8 years of age, my grand dad died, and mom and pop and I made the trip up to Boston to make the arrangements. After they settled us in the motel, they talked to me and decided after the "viewing", I did not have to tag along with them as they made all the other arrangements, so they wrote down everything, made sure I knew where they would be, made sure I knew where the motel was, gave me a key(!) and set me in a taxi with money for the fare both ways, and sent me off to a museum. That's how much they trusted me, and not to mention, the taxi driver, who was tipped generously to come back to pick me up and take me back to the motel. At that age, what did I know? I trusted my folks, both consciously and I guess, unconsciously. When I got back to the motel, I turned on the tv, sat down and watched (I do remember this) Sonya Hennie in an old movie. My folks came back in time to go to dinner, and then they went out again for attorney stuff , they said. I watched a lot of old movies back then (my wife might say I haven't changed much !). How would people react to that nowadays? Child endangerment? Abandonment? I do not think I was challenged once as I walked thru the museum, a single 8 year old skinny kid. The taxi driver did his job, my folks came back, we came to Boston to say goodbye to my Gdad, and then after a week or so of vacation (for me at least), we went home . I think I was even excused from school for the time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagledad Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 I like SSScout's post. I believe our troop was pretty good at being a community of families working together for a common goal. We had the odd adult bad behavior once in a while that cause some trouble, but for all the bad behavior stories, I have dozens of heartfelt stories. Parents are going to have off days, but we scouters will too. It's not a matter of if, but when. The adult troop leaders can be the example for everyone in these situations. Barry 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashmaster Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 I am going to let this slide and be super clear in the future. Hopefully, this was a one time thing that popped up and I don't want the boy to feel bad and not want to scout because of anything I would say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chadamus Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Mash, any reason to think this could be anything other than a one time thing? If the Scout has been in the Troop for a while (?) and there's no track record of this kind of behavior from the parents, your decision is logical. Clearly defining your expectations going forward is smart. And if those expectations are not met, there's plenty of good suggestions here. I personally like @MattR's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awanatech Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 13 hours ago, SSScout said: Oh, the times they are a-changing (or changed...) Waaaay back when I was about 7 or 8 years of age, my grand dad died, and mom and pop and I made the trip up to Boston to make the arrangements. After they settled us in the motel, they talked to me and decided after the "viewing", I did not have to tag along with them as they made all the other arrangements, so they wrote down everything, made sure I knew where they would be, made sure I knew where the motel was, gave me a key(!) and set me in a taxi with money for the fare both ways, and sent me off to a museum. That's how much they trusted me, and not to mention, the taxi driver, who was tipped generously to come back to pick me up and take me back to the motel. At that age, what did I know? I trusted my folks, both consciously and I guess, unconsciously. When I got back to the motel, I turned on the tv, sat down and watched (I do remember this) Sonya Hennie in an old movie. My folks came back in time to go to dinner, and then they went out again for attorney stuff , they said. I watched a lot of old movies back then (my wife might say I haven't changed much !). How would people react to that nowadays? Child endangerment? Abandonment? I do not think I was challenged once as I walked thru the museum, a single 8 year old skinny kid. The taxi driver did his job, my folks came back, we came to Boston to say goodbye to my Gdad, and then after a week or so of vacation (for me at least), we went home . I think I was even excused from school for the time. I agree that times have certainly changed. But in your example, at least it is your own parents making the decision to send you off in a taxi. I have no problem with that, we as parents know what our kids are capable of and are ultimately responsible for those decisions. As a SM, I would not make the decision to send someone else's child off in a taxi, Uber or anything else. If nothing else, how would that even come close to meeting YPT standards? I may do a lot of things differently with my own child than I will do with someone else's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashmaster Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Chadamus said: Mash, any reason to think this could be anything other than a one time thing? If the Scout has been in the Troop for a while (?) and there's no track record of this kind of behavior from the parents, your decision is logical. Clearly defining your expectations going forward is smart. And if those expectations are not met, there's plenty of good suggestions here. I personally like @MattR's. He is new, so I am hopeful it is a one time thing...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle94-A1 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 I am going to admit that my opinion will be biased. TELL THE PARENTS NOT TO DO THIS AGAIN AND IF THEY DO THEY WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE. (caps for emphasis, not shouting.) And if they continue, follow through with asking them to leave. As many of you know, I just transferred troops because of parents interfering with the patrols, and camp outs turning into Cub family camping. It started out as an attempt to ease the Scouts and parents into Boy Scouting, but limits were not enforced and it got worse. Morale in the troop is at the lowest I've ever seen it. Since I've left, I am finding out about more challenges from the Scouts than the ones they told me about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdidochas Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 On 11/5/2018 at 10:42 AM, Eagle94-A1 said: At least you didn't threaten to call Child Protective Services. Seriously, we had an incident at a summer camp I worked at where the SM wanted to send the kid home, and the parents refused to pick him up as they were on a second honeymoon at Disney. Camp director then got involved. He informed the the parents they needed to pick up their son, and they refused. "We paid for summer camp, he's staying at summer camp" or words to that affect. That's when the CD gave them a choice: pick up their son by a certain time (driving time from Disney + 60 minutes) or he would report that they have a minor who had been abandoned by his parents. They made it in time. Seriously, there are some parents who do not care what the troop wants or does.If you don't nip it in the bud now, it will get worse. Trust me on that one.;) CPS is the nuclear option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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