Need guidance please

[jsychk]

Ok, I clarified the eating part with my son this evening, whether they denied his food or not. He said no and yes. They let him to go through the food line. He got the fruit(s). When he asked to go to the salad bar, he was told to sit down. He said the whole troop knows that he only eats fruits and salad at the camp. He was hungry for 2 days (and also didn't sleep for 2 nights). He said he knows how the kids in poor countries feel about hunger. So, I told him how lucky he was because at least he knew where it would end but those poor kids would not. Of course, after he got back home, I fed him real good. To my knowledge, I don't think anyone have starved to death in America so I am not that worried. 

[David CO]

On ‎9‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 9:27 PM, jsychk said:

Ok, I clarified the eating part with my son this evening, whether they denied his food or not. He said no and yes. They let him to go through the food line. He got the fruit(s). When he asked to go to the salad bar, he was told to sit down. He said the whole troop knows that he only eats fruits and salad at the camp. He was hungry for 2 days (and also didn't sleep for 2 nights). He said he knows how the kids in poor countries feel about hunger. So, I told him how lucky he was because at least he knew where it would end but those poor kids would not. Of course, after he got back home, I fed him real good. To my knowledge, I don't think anyone have starved to death in America so I am not that worried. 

Is he a vegetarian? Did you ask for any special accommodations when you registered with the unit? 

[jsychk]

18 hours ago, David CO said:

Is he a vegetarian? Did you ask for any special accommodations when you registered with the unit? 

No, he is not vegetarian. He has egg allergy (that was registered). Like my husband, he is a picky eater. At any camp, he picked anything he felt comfortable to eat. If they serve hamburger, he can eat the hamburger patty, not the bread. He doesn't eat hot dog. He can eat salad and most fruits. He usually comes home hungry after each camp. Before, my husband would buy him a Sam's Club bag of beef jerky or candy until I found out. The sodium or sugar content of beef jerky is way too much for a child to consume for a weekend, so I stopped it. Seriously, their eating is another world for me to struggle. 

[jsychk]

Not sure if anyone is interested, but I would like to give an update and also thank you for supporting me and giving me guidance.

In March, I signed my then 12-year-old up in another troop and have been personally keeping a tap on him. Although he has been in scouting half of his life, he was not sure about it at the beginning and fought against my decision. I guess he was worried if the leaders in the new troop were aware of his behavior from the previous troop since both were in the same district. Anyway,  once again, I had to fight my lone battle with him. I made sure he attended all the troop meeting and camp out. After 3 months, he finally felt comfortable with other scouts and even looked forward to the camp out. He even went to the week long summer camp without any problem this year, had many signoffs as well as merit badges.  He also got his tenderfoot in May, and now he said he should get his 2nd class in September. He plans to get his 1st class by next spring. I can't wait for him to obtain his 1st class so he can go on a high adventure trip with the other boys during the summer. 

Thanks again for your reading, support and guidance. 

Edited September 1, 2019 by jsychk

[MattR]

Thanks for the good news!

[vol_scouter]

That is great news! Hope that the rest of his youth is spent in Scouting and that he has an outstanding experience!

 

Vol-scouter

[awanatech]

Thank you for that update. That's great news that it sounds like you and him have found a Troop home that works for him.  I have told many families over the years that each Troop has a distinct personality and many times a particular Troop may not be a good fit for some Scouts.  I'm glad you didn't give up on Scouting, but rather found a Troop that he fits into. 

[mds3d]

I didn't see this post originally and missed the date.  I was all kinds of angry after reading what happened.  

I am glad your son found a scouting home he feels comfortable. 

[jsychk]

awanatech,

Both troops are great troops! I believe the differences are the involvement of the parent as well as the relationship with the troop leaders. I don't think my husband had a good relationship with a few of the previous troop leaders due to his lack of communication skills. 

As I am more involved with the current troop, I have to become the ASM (8 hours of training) and I am also expected to get the wood badge training soon. Right now, the troop leader knows that I am the committee member in cub scout for my other two boys so he seems to give me a break.  I think after all my boys crossing over to Boy Scouts, I will be fully expected to assist more. 

Edited September 3, 2019 by jsychk

[awanatech]

On September 3, 2019 at 4:57 PM, jsychk said:

awanatech,

Both troops are great troops! I believe the differences are the involvement of the parent as well as the relationship with the troop leaders. I don't think my husband had a good relationship with a few of the previous troop leaders due to his lack of communication skills. 

As I am more involved with the current troop, I have to become the ASM (8 hours of training) and I am also expected to get the wood badge training soon. Right now, the troop leader knows that I am the committee member in cub scout for my other two boys so he seems to give me a break.  I think after all my boys crossing over to Boy Scouts, I will be fully expected to assist more. 

That's good to hear. I was Committee Chair for the Pack for several years. My oldest son crossed over four years before my youngest. I stayed as Pack CC until he crossed over. It took the Troop leaders to realize that I was serious about staying primarily with my youngest until he crossed over. Our meeting nights were the same, so I would go on outings and knew the Scouts pretty well. But many of the parents didn't know me until I finally crossed over.

[qwazse]

On 9/3/2019 at 4:57 PM, jsychk said:

... and I am also expected to get the wood badge training soon. ...

@jsychk, from the school of hard knocks: nobody has to get WB soon. Some scouters have to some time. That's it.

Honestly, we need ASMs to master first-class skills, develop their camping style, and then be nuts about one hobby that they are willing to share with their scouts. That hobby can evolve over the years. I've gone from kayaking to backpacking to sailing to orienteering to international scouting.

I was fortunate to fit WB in, and grateful for it. But I was also grateful that I didn't waste time doing it "soon". A few years as a cub dad, a year or two with the troop, two more with the crew, then it started to seem like the right time to me. Frankly, you've just started to see your son enjoy scouting -- enjoy watching that for a good while. You'll learn just as much by paying attention to your other SM's/ASM's leadership styles.

[jsychk]

Correction: I checked my title, which is Committee Member, not ASM. Sorry!

qwazse, 

The troop chairman advised that if my boy plans to be in scout in LONG haul, I should do the WB. If not, that's ok.

This troop expects every parent to be involved and work together, like a triangle (troop, scout and parent all work together). I was asked to do the WB training in October, but I can't so he said I can do it next spring (around March). I don't mind learning something new. My oldest son doesn't think I am able to get the WB, so maybe this is an opportunity to show him!

I hope the training doesn't leave me in the wilderness alone with a compass, right? 

[Eagledad]

I can see why this is frustrating for the more experienced members here. Do training because,,, well why? 

As a scoutmaster, I set goals and specifics for the unit volunteers we sent to training, so that they could see where they fit in the bigger picture of our program. As a WB Staffer, I asked all participants to talk with their unit leader to learn the unit goals for them. This is not only important because a volunteer shouldn't feel they are wasting time when they could be at home with their family, but also understanding the goals them helps them focus on how to use the information they are learning. Especially with developing the Ticket Items. I believe the unit leader should have Ticket Items in mind for the participant, so that they practice the expectations of the unit leaders.

All this to say that I would ask your chairman what he/she wants, or at least hopes you gets from WB. A lot of units unintentionally abuse training by turning it into a requirement to inter the group, club, team, or whatever. It's one thing to spend 1 day for some specific training, WB requires much more time and is less specific. When you look at the basis of what WB is trying to do for units, it's basically teaching how to set goals and build teams to reach those goals. If the main unit leaders understand those objectives, not all volunteer needs WB for a successful performing unit. 

If your chairman is doing their job, they are teaching you the lessons of WB by developing you into the team. 

I'm with Qwazse, they should give some basic unit training then let you sit back and watch. 

Barry

[qwazse]

On September 5, 2019 at 4:54 PM, jsychk said:

Correction: I checked my title, which is Committee Member, not ASM. Sorry!

...

I hope the training doesn't leave me in the wilderness alone with a compass, right? 

No worries, I'm an MC too because some registrar couldn't be bothered to catch up old records even when I turned in my 2003 certificate!

WB? Wilderness? Ha! It ain't no orienteerinng club (if only)!