Denied a court of honor.

[scoutldr]

7 hours ago, Mich08212 said:

I suppose it was.

My son handed in the paperwork all signed as the troop is very good and meticulous about this part... and handed in the day of his 18th birthday.

The EBOR was in October. My sons 18th birthday is June 9th 2017.

and just recently was given the card and certificate in a plastic shopping bag like the ones you use for garbage.

The Scout is an Eagle...the EBOR was convened and he passed.  His application was approved by the SM, the Troop Committee Chair, District, Council and National and he has his certificate and medal in hand.  All this pontificating about a "valid" EBOR is moot.  The only remaining question is why the jerks on the Troop Committee and SM are denying him a Court of Honor.

[scoutldr]

8 hours ago, Mich08212 said:

Thank you.

But if you have witnessed the bullying from this man and the direct insults from him as well, you'll probably say the same. and BTW, I called him that one time in the thread and it was to your response.Im not sure what holes youre talking about. Unless you want a storybook and if so I'll be glad to give it to you.

It starts from when my son started in the troop by this uh um... man... bullying him.   Hes had it out for my son since day one.   Why? Who the heck knows. We never knew him before. Looks like the proverbial "dog has his day" kinda thing.   Really very disgusting how a bully can just get away with this sorta thing. Thats what he is... a bully.

OK, I have to say this.  You say you were a volunteer in Cub Scouts for 7 years. Thank you for serving.  No doubt you took the required Youth Protection training which addresses the BSA's zero tolerance policy on bullying.  You also assert that your son was constantly bullied by adults in his Troop the entire time he was a member.  Did YOU report this to the Scout Executive as required by the YP requirements?  If not, why not?  The BSA has procedures in place for handling bullies and it should have been nipped in the bud.  I'm not trying to cast accusations...just trying to close some holes in your saga that are gnawing at me.

[Mich08212]

2 hours ago, scoutldr said:

The Scout is an Eagle...the EBOR was convened and he passed.  His application was approved by the SM, the Troop Committee Chair, District, Council and National and he has his certificate and medal in hand.  All this pontificating about a "valid" EBOR is moot.  The only remaining question is why the jerks on the Troop Committee and SM are denying him a Court of Honor.

Exactly right. 

the SM emailed me this morning but I havent had the opportunity to read it yet.  We will see what he says.

[Mich08212]

2 hours ago, scoutldr said:

OK, I have to say this.  You say you were a volunteer in Cub Scouts for 7 years. Thank you for serving.  No doubt you took the required Youth Protection training which addresses the BSA's zero tolerance policy on bullying.  You also assert that your son was constantly bullied by adults in his Troop the entire time he was a member.  Did YOU report this to the Scout Executive as required by the YP requirements?  If not, why not?  The BSA has procedures in place for handling bullies and it should have been nipped in the bud.  I'm not trying to cast accusations...just trying to close some holes in your saga that are gnawing at me.

Yes I most certainly did.. And proud that I did.

He was bullied by this one guy.  Infact this one guy that has been the discussion of this whole thread..lol, there was one incident that comes to mind, my son me and my husband ( which BTW was the first time my husband even laid eyes on him) we had to walk up to a small group of the leaders to clarify info about Yawgoog camp,  .... Well holy taledo, my husband. was about to ask one of the leaders about something and Bam... This guy out of no where gave my husband a look of death and screamed "NO"....

Now in this text its difficult to explain so Imagine this....

A meeting about Camp.

After the meeting, various parents were wanting to have questions asked.

Once we were able to get our turn, and ask whatever question it was. I think it was about the netting or something trivial, he immediately shot a death look at my husband with eyes wide open, red face and yelled NO!!.

My very passive low key husband was like, " WTH!!  Whats this guys problem.  

Well the rest is mute at this point.  This is just one small incident out of many.

Another incident was when it concerned my sons paperwork.

We dropped my son off at his SM house so they could complete it. There was something that needed to be printed and the SM wanted me to go home and get it for him. Well, me and my husband, while the SM and this guy were standing in the driveway, got out of the car walked up to SM and this guy to ask and clarify exactly what the sm wanted, and again this guy was out right rude and baligerant. << excuse the spelling.

Thats just a few incidences that I have had to endure with this guy.

As for my son, he has been bullied by kids on the bus and at school, so my son has created a armor for himself against it and just shrungs it off.  He has told me many times how this guy has picked on him for not being able to swim and do that endurance badge for eagle. as one example.

 

It has been a while since I was Den leader. And My son did not want to confront the matter and just let it go because he felt that because this guy was on the board for decision for Eagle, he didnt want to shake things up and get denied eagle because of it.   Hope that made sense.

But Alas. He got eagle.  In fact the SM said that there was one guy (we know of course who that one guy is) that really didnt want to say yes to eagle but did because he didnt want to have to go in front of the board or something and say why. 

With that said, Here we are. Eagle but now denied ECOH... Yup.. its for sure this guy. Hes the committee chair.

I hope that long story covered the holes for you.

 

 

 

[Mich08212]

Thank you... found the site: http://bsatroop354.com/

Took a look around.. seems they havent updated it much

Edited July 20, 2018 by Mich08212
website found

[Mich08212]

Website found..lol http://bsatroop354.com/

 

[scoutldr]

Well the final hole is:  If you reported the YP violation to Council, and got no results, WHY did you keep subjecting your son (and yourself) to the bully for years?  Tell the SM...and the SE in a firm letter exactly why you are leaving and find a new Troop that follows the Scout Oath, Law and YP requirements.  I dunno...something doesn't smell right.  

[malraux]

8 minutes ago, scoutldr said:

Well the final hole is:  If you reported the YP violation to Council, and got no results, WHY did you keep subjecting your son (and yourself) to the bully for years?  Tell the SM...and the SE in a firm letter exactly why you are leaving and find a new Troop that follows the Scout Oath, Law and YP requirements.  I dunno...something doesn't smell right.  

With an aged out scout, its kinda hard to implement this advice though.

[Mich08212]

nope, I never said we reported it.

My son did not want to go to another troop. All his friends since elementary school were in that troop. I can clearly see why he didnt want to go to another troop.  He also was very friendly with some of the leaders. When my son confided in one, they just told him "who Doug"... ahhh, Hes going through a tough time....

I didnt subject him to it. It was there.  My son didnt want to leave for the reason I just mentioned. The others didnt want to for the same reason.

It may not smell right but thats the reasons why we stayed.

[bearess]

Well, you did appear to say you reported it.  In response to a post asking if you reported it, you replied “Yes, I did, and proud that I did”.  Also, if your son can’t swim or do strenuous activity, he must have had to have alternative badge requirements for Eagle (First Class requires swimming, as well as the cycling/swimming/hiking merit badge requirements).  It seems like you would have been working closely with the committee to get all of that done.  

Did he complete all the required Eagle merit badges or did he complete alternative badges for some?  Specifically, did your son earn hiking, swimming, cycling, or personal fitness?

[Mich08212]

No. When I said “Yes, I did, and proud that I did”.   I meant that for the den leader position.

My son went to camp to get the swimming badge done and could not do the endurance of it so alternatively he did the hiking.

We found a great meet up group that does hiking regularly and it was slow paced so my son could complete it and he did.

Yes everything is complete. he was awarded eagle

[malraux]

I think the important question is how to move forward. Assuming that he does have the certificate and card, then questioning the eagle process doesn’t really get us anywhere, though it might help explain both the discrimination and the committee chair’s antagonism. 

Moving forward the question is really if it’s worth it to continue fighting the troop for an ECoH vs just running it yourself. Stuff like nice letters from politicians is cool, but certainly not nessisary. Returning money to the charity I would have thought would have been the last step in the eagle project, rather than a COH step, and should probably happen immediately regardless. The rest is about what do you want it to be and what can you make happen. 

[gblotter]

I can't believe I just read all eight pages of this thread.

It seems clear that some members of the troop committee do not believe your son was qualified for Eagle even though he passed his EBOR. It was mentioned that a member of the EBOR panel also had reservations but passed him anyway (or did I get that wrong). Perhaps these reservations are related to the physical limitations of your son or other factors that affected his participation. Perhaps quality was missing from efforts made at the last minute. From the bullying comments, it seems some resentment toward your son and/or your family goes back many years. That could be attributable to personality differences or something more serious.

We have all witnessed Scouts who limp across the finish line right at their 18th birthday (I call them "Deathbed Eagles"). As a Scoutmaster, I will admit that I am not inspired by that kind of last-minute scrambling. Their lack of preparation does not equal my emergency, but I won't create artificial obstacles either. It is definitely not an ideal situation for anyone.

My own son had his ECOH earlier this year, and I can tell you that it was a LOT of work to pull everything together. If the troop committee feels your son was undeserving in the first place, it is understandable that they don't want to make extra efforts to honor his achievement by organizing an ECOH (I'm not saying their attitude is justified, but it is understandable). The Scoutmaster argued in favor of an ECOH, but the committee said no. It sounds like the fight is over. Given that your son is now 19 and no longer registered with the troop, you are pushing on a string. Just organize a family event and invite those you want. You can make the effort to write and solicit congratulatory letters from various sources if desired. If the Scoutmaster argued in favor of holding an ECOH, I assume he will show up at your family event. His presence will add some formality and gravitas to it.

 

Edited July 20, 2018 by gblotter

[Mich08212]

I cant believe that you did either..LOL

If these were reservations  related to the physical limitations, then thats just Bullshit  pardon my language here but there have been autistic boys that had more severe limitations and gone thru with no hitch.  Seriously? You condone that? It sounds like it.  Sounds like its ok if a boy has limitations that its ok to be treated this way. As a former or present Scout Master Im appalled by your lack of "heart" here. 

I think its appalling that anyone in a leadership that dedicates their time to helping others grow and helping to nurture, dont have one ounce of heart , compassion, or empathy. or why that person or persons would even want to be in that roll if they dont have those inner qualities to care enough to help.

I pray thats not you.

You say " From the bullying comments, it seems some resentment toward your son and/or your family goes back many years."..  My son joined this troop crossing over from cub scouts in the 6th grade along with his friends.  We did not know any of these people EVER> So it cant go back many years.  This guy right from the start picked my son out of them all. With no reason, no resentment.  There cant be resentment.He didnt even know my son and only had maybe 10 interactions with him during the time he was in the troop.

The last minute scrambling didnt come from my son. He started it about 9 months or so before his 18th birthday. He was 100% prepared. It was the lack of leadership he needed to guide him through and lots of "hand sitting" on the troops part.

Im sure a ECOH is a lot of work. Im not new to getting into the trenches with putting events together. And so what if it is?

I am currently working with a Council member to help guide me through it.

 

 

[MattR]

@Mich08212, now that you bring it up, I won't pardon your language. Let's keep it scout appropriate.

Thank you,

The moderator team.