Foul Mouth Leader

[packsaddle]

Reminds me of something that happened years ago.

Way back during the days of door-to-door scouting for food, the cubs encountered an elderly woman who came out swinging a broom and shouting expletives. Far from being traumatized, the boys came back laughing about it. Word got around and all of them wanted that route. I requested changes in the streets for our pack. But nope, she moved right to our new streets. Next year she was at it again. This time, unfortunately in front of the mothers, I asked one of the boys what she said. He repeated it...accurately and with every tone and inflection correct, I assume. Red-faced, I vowed never to ask THAT again. Then we stopped the door-to-door thing. Boy, was I glad of that.

[SR540Beaver]

TwoCub,

 

There are times when public humiliation can be a very good thing. Some folks just don't get it and continue with their bad behavior even after having it pointed out to them quietly. Then it is time to pull out the big stick and humiliate them publically. It should be a last resort, but it can be effective. There was a reason people used to be put in stocks in the public sqaure or have to wear a scarlet letter. This man's actions are just a variation of bullying. He is a MAN and he will by golly say and do as he pleases! But like a bully, often all it takes is someone actually standing up to them publically to back them down. I've seen this done before and it was very effective.

[MrsSmith]

Have you tried washing out his mouth with soap? Oh, yeah, hes an ADULT. Honestly, OneHour, a week ago, I would have thought that merely pointing out to a Scout Leader that a Scout is Courteous would be enough to make a grown man stop and take stock of his behavior. Isn't that how we are supposed to influence the boys i.e., point out where their behavior conflicts with Scoutings ideals. (BTW, I dont spank. I use very stern disapproving glances, followed by heavy sighing and sad shakes of the head) If an adult isnt moved by a peer (and it appears in your case, a parent) pointing out to him that his conduct is below the standards for your organization, much less common decency, its unlikely that he will care regardless who confronts him. Maybe you need to read the tome How to get rid of the SM.

[Fat Old Guy]

"Way back during the days of door-to-door scouting for food,"

 

I thought that everyone did door-to-door collections for SFF.

 

 

[Shell in WA- USA]

This may not help your situation but I wanted to tell what we did when we had a leader swearing really bad if front of the boys. HE was a trucker and was around it all the time. When we asked him to tone downt he language, he was truely appolgetic but he still had a real hard time remembering not to use those choice words.

 

But he had a great attitude and a great sense of humor. At one den meeting, he brought a big jar of those hotel soaps with him and an empty jar. He explained to the boys that swearing was inappropiate and that he had a real problem with it too and he was trying to stop. He went on to explain to the boys the whys and whats of not swearing. Then he talked about why there were rules and why it was important for everyone to show consideration for all around them.

 

Then he challenged the boys that every time they caught him swearing, they could put a bar of soap in the empty jar. And for every correction he had to make with the boys (per their set den rules) he got to put a bar of soap back into the first jar. At the end of the year if the "empty jar" was more full then the "first" jar, he would buy pizza for the den, but if it was opposite, then the boys would have to buy him pizza.

 

It became a game for the den. By the end of the year, it was the best mannered den in the pack and the leader toned his swearing WAY down! But he still had to buy them all pizza!

 

I thought it was SO BIG of him to do. I greatly admired that leader for the effort!...Wish your problem could be so easy.

[Tamegonit Arrowman]

I have combined your suggestions into steps for one foolproof self-help plan for those who are have problems with SIFOYSS (Swearing in front of Young Scouts Syndrome).

 

SELF-HELP PLAN FOR SIFOYSS

 

(Start at the first step, then, if SIFOYSS symptoms do not immediately cease, move to the next one on the list. Repeat as needed until patient is cured)

 

1. 1-on-1 Counseling

2. Public Humiliation

3. Bring on the potty-mouth Tiger Cub

4. Rip out his wallet and make him buy the troop pizza

5. Take a jar filled with bars of soap, prop his mouth open, proceed to force-feed. Just add water.

6. Cut his tongue out with a rusty Scout knife with 12 cuts (one for each point of the Scout Law)

 

Have a nice day.

 

YIS and proud preventer of SIFOYSS,

Tamegonit Arrowman

 

(This message has been edited by Tamegonit Arrowman)

[packsaddle]

FOG, A few years ago someone (not sure who) made the decision to set up in front of the local grocers asking patrons to pick up a few extra items and donate them as they leave. Overall it is a good idea for us because we collect a LOT more food; it isn't the expired stuff off the back of the shelf; and we no longer have to worry about safety issues with the door-to-door thing. The only down side is that the boys just stand around, not much activity beyond handing out our fliers.

[OneHour]

Thanks ... some have given me an idea or two and other gave me a laugh or two, but it is now an issue that I and the other parents will have to figure out what to do. I can't take away the great things that this man has done for the Pack and his love for scouting. He is a man with strong conviction and ideals (wrong sometimes, but strong nevertheless). Thanks for the inputs.

[Tamegonit Arrowman]

I still think you should cut off his tongue...

 

TA

[ozemu]

After 10 years in the infantry I asked the Troop to remind me if I let one drop. They never did and I tried hard. I apoligised just a few times.

 

With other kids it is not offensive - in fact it helps them relax and listen without thinking deeply about which parts of the sentance are important - like my soldiers. But not in Scouting.

 

Lots of my Scouts will let a few go. I ask them to swear more quietly. My aim is to not ask for something I cannot do myself and to not set it up as a rule to be broken.

 

A bit off the wall but I thought that "Major Pain" was part of your fast start training and he uses a particular term so is that word okay? Maybe I got the plan mixed up.

[LovetoCamp]

Hi Oz,

 

I hope your being funny. Major Paine would have been relieved in short order and sent to the correctional Barracks at Leavenworth, Kansas. If you are serious, think about it, do you in NSW think of Americans by the ridiculous garbage that is movies and television today? If the rest of the world watches MTV and thinks of us in those terms, uugh. Tain't good.

[ozemu]

No - just bad humour on my part.

[Zahnada]

I've heard of a teacher who was trying to keep her class from saying "ummm" when giving speeches. The use of "ummm" and other filler words is often unconscious, but is a habit that can be changed. So, she gave everyone in the class a tin cup and a handful of pennies. Then the students gave their presentations one at a time. Whenever someone uttered an "ummm" of "uhhh" they would hear 20 pennies clinking into a metal cup. Apparently it was very unnerving, but it forced these students to turn an unconscious action into a very conscious one.

 

I don't know if I would approve of such a technique for youth because it might be very unsettling, but the basic premise of the idea of simple enough. If the person in question really wants to change his swearing behavior and it is an unconscious act at this point, he may just need reminders. A firm jab in the ribs with your elbow whenever he swears might be enough (and probably preferable to public humiliation). He just needs to start thinking about his speech more.

 

Or maybe you can just give everyone in the pack a tin cup and a handful of pennies.

[Fat Old Guy]

"If the rest of the world watches MTV and thinks of us in those terms, uugh. Tain't good."

 

At one time people came to America expecting to find gold in the streets because that's what they had heard. Now, people around the world watch American movies and TV so they wind up believing that we have running gun battles in the streets on a daily basis.

 

 

[Fat Old Guy]

"If the rest of the world watches MTV and thinks of us in those terms, uugh. Tain't good."

 

At one time people came to America expecting to find gold in the streets because that's what they had heard. Now, people around the world watch American movies and TV so they wind up believing that we have running gun battles in the streets on a daily basis.