BSA policy on threat of domestic violence at meeting?

[beaglelover]

Hi, new to scouting and assisting with a Tiger Den.

 

We have a situation in another den where one of the boys father suffers from mental illness and the mother, who has custody, is worried that if the father should learn where they live and where he son spends his time (like at Cub Scouts) that he might come after them.  Supposedly there is a restraining order and local law enforcement have been informed.  

 

Does the BSA have any policies or guidelines for situations like these?  It was brought up at a planning meeting and nobody else seemed particularly concerned by this situation, but having worked with domestic violence victims before, I have seen how they can escalate.  I have considered going over the pack leadership and contacting the council for guidance, but also do not want to ruffle feathers since we just started.  

 

Anything in writing anywhere that I can take to the Cubmaster/Committee??

 

Thanks

[qwazse]

@@beaglelover, Welcome to the forums and thanks for your service to the boys!

 

Situations like these tend to have local and state regulations that can guide you. Your district executive (DE) and your counsel scout executive (SE) should have the best understanding of what you can and cannot do in this situation. Arrange to contact them along with your den leader, cubmaster, and committee chair. Maybe include the mother.

 

Sadly, we had a similar situation where a father was threatening to exercise his right as a scout-parent to spend more time with his son. The grandparents, who had custody, concluded that the safest path was to keep the boy out of scouting.

 

At the end of the day, it's up to the custodial parent to determine what is safe for his/her child. It's on you all to know what you as volunteers can and cannot provide (in both a legal and practical sense), and let the boy's mom decide the risk vs. benefit.

[David CO]

Hi beaglelover. Welcome to the forum. 

 

You should not be in the loop. The boy is not in your den. This is a need to know type of situation, and you don't need to know.

 

In situations like this, it is important to limit the number of people involved.  The Cubmaster and boy's Den Leaders should be kept informed, but it should not become a subject of public discussion.  I'm disappointed that it came up at a planning meeting.

 

It is possible that your perception that people aren't particularly concerned about the situation is really a reluctance on their part to discuss the matter with you.  You're not in the loop.

 

If the Chartered Organization is a school or church, they would be very familiar with how to handle these type of situations. 

[NJCubScouter]

I agree with qwazse's suggestion of someone contacting the appropriate person at counsel - this would probably be an SE-level conversation.  However, I think just one person should contact the SE and it probably should be either the Cubmaster or CC.  I also think DavidCO has a good point, it sounds like there has already been too much discussion of this situation within the pack.

 

I did a Google search to see if there is any BSA policy on this but nothing turned up.  I have never heard of a policy on this subject.  Perhaps @@RichardB could point you toward something.

[gumbymaster]

We had a similar situation when I was working at a summer camp.

 

In our case, the staff was informed, and provided a picture of the non-custodial parent.  They were informed that if at any time someone saw that parent, they were to inform the camp director by Radio.

 

If it came to it, which it did not, the camp director would have 1. Called the police, and 2. Would have arranged for the ranger to lock/guard the gate (we were in the backwoods with a 7+ mile, single road, so easy to control access when needed.  They would have also arranged for the child to be taken to a predetermined (out of the way) location at the camp, to wait out the incident.

 

It is much harder with meetings and a cub pack that are essentially open events.

Have the unit leadership consult with the local police department for specific recommendations, but in general I imagine that they will ask

1. The leader(s) be able to identify the individual if they show up and contact police

2. Do not engage the individual, but if possible get the child to a safe location

    2a. as safely as possible, get other individuals and children away from any potential confrontation.

3. Make sure to identify as much about the individual (and child) as possible including car, license, and clothing.

 

Finally,

 

Carefully review the unit's Social Media policy.  Who can sign up for a newsletter, calendar, facebook or website; who can access event photos; how people are identified (if at all) in photos or other descriptions, etc.

[RichardB]

Please discuss with the local Scout Executive, they can assist.    If you need to point to some policy it would be integral into the barriers to abuse.  http://www.scouting.org/Training/YouthProtection.aspx 

[Stosh]

Welcome to the forum!

 

As mentioned, this isn't something for you to worry about, just the CM and DL's.  If there's a restraining order in effect, the only thing one need do is dial 911 and that's the end of it.  BSA is not the caretaker or mediator of the situation any more than a school or church would be.  If there's a legal issue, i.e. restraining order, then it's entirely in the realm of law enforcement.

 

I wouldn't put myself or any other scout personnel in the middle of this, but I would encourage and protect the boy as a scout in the scout program just like any other scout.

[Eagle94-A1]

We had a situation where the non-custodial parent showed up when the troop was going on a camp out, and was planning on taking his sons away for the weekend. Custodial parent got wind of this prior to the weekend, and literally left town with the entire family at the last minute.

 

I'd have a registered CS leader, as someone else recommended either the Cubmaster or Committee Chairman, contact the scout executive ASAP to find out how to deal with the issue as laws vary from state to state. If there is indeed a restraining order, and in 2 other cases we had restraining orders to be aware of, make sure someone on adult on the trip knows about them, and CALL THE POLICE IF THEY SHOW UP! (emphasis)

 

As another said, protect the scout(s). Things can get real bad real fast. Good luck.

[frankpalazzi]

Welcome to the forum!

 

As mentioned, this isn't something for you to worry about, just the CM and DL's.  If there's a restraining order in effect, the only thing one need do is dial 911 and that's the end of it.  BSA is not the caretaker or mediator of the situation any more than a school or church would be.  If there's a legal issue, i.e. restraining order, then it's entirely in the realm of law enforcement.

 

I wouldn't put myself or any other scout personnel in the middle of this, but I would encourage and protect the boy as a scout in the scout program just like any other scout.

Agree, Agree, 1000 times agree!  Abide by the wishes of the custodial parent, whatever they may be.  If something goes wrong, or even seems wrong, call the police.  They are trained to handle these situations.  They do it every day, all day long.  Best to err on the side of caution and always have the protection of the child first and foremost at heart.

[AKdenldr]

I think there are quite a few things the pack could do.  

1) Do you have a social media policy?  I'll bet custodial parent doesn't want pictures of her tiger in his uniform posted to facebook, anyone's facebook.

2) Explain the 2 deep leadership policy to Tiger mom and how your pack and den events are supervised.

3) Doesn't the medical part a and b form have a space that tells who can take a child from scouting events? In our pack all uniformed adults knew the allergies and medical issues.  Why not this also?

4) Pack events aren't really open to the public.  They are open to those in the pack and their guests.

5) Have a greeter table at the entrance to pack meetings where everyone signs in and gets a name tag. This helps with community building BTW.  Have the scouts all introduce their guests.  ('I'm Tommy and these are my Grandparents from Florida', or "This is my friend from second grade", whatever.)  (Greeter table is a great place to collect checks for dues or day camp also!)

6) Keep the info about Dad's illness limited to those in positions of authority in the pack.

 

Lovely that you all are providing scouting for this boy.  Please help mom feel comfortable with the program.