Relaying communication to your scout son. Would you?

[blw2]

OK, so I get an email from an adult, usually a committee member, or perhaps the SM or an ASM.

it says something like

"_____ would like to invite the Scouts to come out on ____ to help with his Eagle Project...."

 

or

 

"We have selected to do ____ as a service project.  Please come out on ____ and bring shovels and gloves....."

       (and in this case I know the "we" is not scouts)

 

or something similar.....

 

You know your son does not check email.  

 

Would you pass along the message to see if he wants to go?  

Would you make him go?

[JosephMD]

In the end, yes.  But...  there is always a but

 

Suggest your son check his e-mail

in our troop, a lot gets posted on the facebook group, I suggest that he checks facebook

give him some time

ask if there is anything going on at xyz time

suggest that you think there might be and that he should contact his patrol leader

give him some time

ask again

and after all of that, give him the message

 

This worked well for my son, but, I'm sure not every boy can do it.  Turning 13 and getting access to Facebook was a big help.  I know the troop shouldn't communicate that way, but the committee chair is a social media type person, so, that won't change any time soon.  These days, just suggesting that he check his e-mail and facebook is usually enough.

[qwazse]

You will have this issue for the next 10+ years. So condition the behavior you want so that the person who will be paying for the loan will be the one promptly completing the financial aid application.

 

So the dinner discussion (right before dessert) should be:

 

blw2: What do you think about that message Mr. __ sent?

blw2son: Message?

blw2: Oh, I'm sorry, I presumed you checked E-mail as frequently as you scan for Pokemon. Check it now. After you do, we can discuss it over dessert.

Edited September 2, 2016 by qwazse

[thrifty]

We felt as parents that our son didn't need his own email for a long time because it wasn't necessary for anything he does and would only lead to negatives (spam that makes me blush, etc..)  He's now 12 and his school is very technology oriented (unfortunately, in my opinion) so it became necessary to have his own email so he could communicate with teachers and others.  Various troop members send emails.  The SM, ASMs, SPL, and PL send emails to the boys depending on what it's involving.  All email contacts (parents & boys) are copied on most emails.  The only emails he receives that we do not is at the PL level.  If we see an email has arrived, we tell him to check his email and then ask him what it was about so we know that he actually read it.  We've had to make an effort (us & him) to remember for him to check the email every few days so he doesn't miss a PL email.  Only 12 and he's already chained to his email.

 

Typically eagle projects and service projects are announced in advance for planning purposes so he's aware of them and has been willing to go in the past.  We would encourage but not force him to go if he felt he didn't want to go to one.  I guess it depends on his reasons why.  We just had an email about a service project that takes place over the holiday weekend with no advance notice.  This is poor planning/communication and as parents (who would also be volunteering), we do not condone this and are not going. 

[MattR]

Email is not reliable. We are bombarded constantly by announcements, both electronic and at meetings and they're mostly forgotten. It's a case of you get what you pay for. It's really easy to send out email asking for help. It's much harder to call each person you need help from. You know what works better.

 

If someone needs help with their eagle project then they should talk to scouts one on one and ask for their help.

 

I also agree with qwasze about how some scouts don't respond to email, so there are two sides to this story. But still, one on one, face to face communication is the best.

[cchoat]

Today most scouts are on other social medias such as Messenger,Twitter or Snapchat so e-mail can not be relied on as the first line of communication. A Life Scout who needs assistance with his Eagle project should have asked his SPL for a few minutes to address the troop at a scout meeting.  Following up with e-mail is acceptable, but to send it to a parent to remind his or her scout is kind of defeating the purpose of teaching the scout responcibility. 

[frankpalazzi]

 Time was, and not that long ago, when there were only 3 primary forms of Troop communication:  Face-to-face, telephone, and US Mail.  Now, the choices are overwhelming with e-mail, texting, twitter, facebook, various instant messenger modules, Instagram, Snapchat, the list goes on.

 

From my experience, Scouts don't use e-mail.  Our Troop uses that only for adult communications.

 

The unit needs to decide on two primary forms of contact.  We use: 1.) Facebook and then 2.) e-mail. Announcements of coming events are of course given at every troop meeting, but that's only effective if you have 100% attendance! 

 

Everyone's "mileage may vary" of course, but let the boys decide on two forms!  They are the ones that need to be reached, first and foremost.  Use the e-mail for us old fogeys.

[gumbymaster]

You could also consider using the patrol method

 

The Patrol Scribe would be encouraged to take notes of the announcements and upcoming events.  If they are absent, the Patrol leader could appoint a substitute.

 

When A Scout misses a meeting, they should contact their Patrol Scribe to learn what they need to know.

 

I'm not saying parents should not be in the knowing whats going on loop, but we need to encourage the boys to take responsibility for getting the information they need, processing that information, and reacting to it appropriately.

 

In this case, the method of contact (phone, text, email, facebook, school hallway, etc) is unimportant.

Edited September 2, 2016 by gumbymaster

[blw2]

I have another example to add....

emails announcing fund raisers.... that I know were conceived and arranged by adults.  There may have been an adult to scout announcement made at a troop meeting, but I'm not sure about that.

 

Anyway, My son does not check emails.  I have tried the strategies that some of you outlined above.  He will reluctantly read if I tell him to, but I think like @@qwazse, i think..."condition the behavior you want"

& I have no intention of reminding him to do something like that.

and the times I have done this, the message seems to go in one ear and back out the other.

 

Furthermore, I feel like 

the Life scout should be doing the asking as @@cchoat suggests

and I feel like all these others things should be coming from and to the scouts too.

I want my son coming to me asking for me to take him to x, y, or z.

I have no intention of conditioning or grooming a "voluntold" attitude.

 

I have suggested this idea to the committee, saying that turnout for these events might be better if the scouts come up with the idea or at least buy into it.  So far, they just don't seem to be getting it..... & I'm figuring they probably think I'm being a lazy un-involved parent for not voluntolding my son to be there.

[blw2]

You could also consider using the patrol method

 

The Patrol Scribe would be encouraged to take notes of the announcements and upcoming events.  If they are absent, the Patrol leader could appoint a substitute.

 

When A Scout misses a meeting, they should contact their Patrol Scribe to learn what they need to know.

 

I'm not saying parents should not be in the knowing whats going on loop, but we need to encourage the boys to take responsibility for getting the information they need, processing that information, and reacting to it appropriately.

 

In this case, the method of contact (phone, text, email, facebook, school hallway, etc) is unimportant.

exactly how it seems it should be in my thinking.

[fred johnson]

Ohhhh ... what a juicy topic.   My thoughts and what the troop I guide does.

 

Thoughts

• The ideal scout communication is face-to-face.
• Scouts communicate how they want to communicate
• but ...
  • Scouts communicate with scouts.  â€‹
  • Adults communicate with adults.
• My youngest son
  • does not have a phone yet.  And, I don't want to get him one for as long as possible.
  • does not check email or have email or have Facebook.  I do not want to do anything that accelerates it.  I'll let it happen when it needs to happen.
• Pleasing adults
  • Adults will complain if you send them too much or too little information.  
  • Adults need accurate information when they receive it.  It's almost better to not email / text adults than to regularly send error prone information.  
• Teaching behavior
  • I'd really like to communicate with my son on the up-and-up.  If there is something he needs to read, I'll tell him that.  If there is something he needs to know that I learned, I'll share.  
  • But I won't share small bits of info as a teaser to get him to read his email.  I do not like when it's done to me and I know the words I use to describe those people.  Either tell me or don't.  But don't tease me with part to get me to jump and go find the rest.   

 

Our Troop

• Our troop email is from adults and to adults.  If scouts want to tap in, fine.  
• Scouts can communicate in any channel they want to communicate.  Our adults will not successfully define how scouts communicate.

Edited September 6, 2016 by fred johnson

[Stosh]

PL's take care of your boys.  However he wishes to do that is up to him.  He can use whatever communication technique he wishes, if it ain't workin' better try something else.  They'll eventually figure out what works best for them..

[Cambridgeskip]

I think there's actually two different issues getting confused in this thread. How should communication with the scouts be done? And should parents being assisting their scouts with reading it?

 

On the latter point i think it depends on age. If the scout involved is a 10 or 11 year old new scout I would say Qwaze's approach is a good one. Don't do it for them, but perhaps nudge them in the right direction and, most importantly, get your child to reply themselves. Help build up that approach of it being down to them. As they get older then that parental assistance should drop off and it should be very much down to the scout themselves to be taking responsibility for it.

 

In terms of the best method of communicating..... that is a tricky one. The trouble is that social media is changing at an extraordinary rate. What is used today isn't what was used two years ago and isn't what will be used in two years time. The fluidity makes it difficult to give an exact answer about how to communicate with your common or garden teenager! However.... ever since IT went mainstream in the late 80s one thing that has remained consistent is that in the adult world email is used for most formal communication. And scouting is meant to be about preparing young people for the adult world. For that reason I would stick with email for anything that is issued by adults whether that be to parents or the scouts themselves. Encouraging the scouts to read it may not be easy. But I think it is a worthwhile goal. How the patrols communicate among themselves is up to them! One of my favourite anecdotes is I remember one of my patrols here planning a camp. The PL had requisitioned her Dad's conference calling facility from work! They had a question for me and I suddenly got a phone call from an automated voice informing me I was being invited to a conference call.... Quite imaginative I thought

[dedkad]

Since none of the active Scouts in our troop have driver's licenses and families are so busy nowadays, communicating with the parents is essential to ensure that there will be no conflict in getting a Scout to a meeting or activity.

 

To answer your two specific questions:

 

Yes, I would pass along the message. When things are running smoothly in the troop, he should have already heard something about the event at one of the meetings, but maybe not all the details.

 

Yes. For the two instance you provided, I would make him go because my son has not yet mastered the skill of being helpful and if given a choice, he would choose to not help.