Helicopter parents -please focus!

[Momleader]

Dear Helicopter Parents,

I just spent a week with your Cub Scout as a program area teacher at day camp.

As a mom of 2 Boy Scouts (both teens and one with limitations), please let me offer some ideas on how to help your Cub Scout at future drop off events.

1. Teach your child how go re-apply his own sunscreen - we adults at camp aren't allowed to do that.

2. Please remind your son that when a camp staff member asks for a certain behavior to stop we mean it. Arguing with us that they didn't break a camp safety rule in front of us isn't going to help them learn anything. Admitting they did wrong or just accepting the consequences will make them a stronger young man. We don't like using a time out for bad behavior - but it's better than calling you to pick them up mid-day.

3. Please send your Cub Scout to camp in clothes/shoes they can manage on their own, we change for water sports and swimming, just like the sunscreen thing - we can't by law help them dress/change clothes.

4. Ban the phrase "I Can't" from their vocabulary. If there are physical limitations that need accommodation the camp nurse will let us know and we can adapt the program area activity. When one whines 'I cant do this.....' The rest of the den either imitates and progress in learning & fun slows down or the other boys might pick on him, creating another problem.

5. If your son doesn't like a program area safety rule please check with us about it first - BSA has specific ways certain safety rules in place and teaching methods are based around those. As for Cub Scout shooting instruction - the range officers will gladly share them with you.

6. Remind your son he will meet boys from other towns & to be kind with words and deeds during the day.

 

Please Do Your Best to be on time at drop off and pick up! Remember except for 2-3 people of the staff we are all volunteers, even the Boy Scouts that we have helping out.

[qwazse]

I don't have too many helps, but for #1 the sport bottles of spray sunscreen work well. They are a lower SPF, but by virtue of quick and easy, are amenable to reapplication with less fuss.

[Troop185]

If it is like most camps, they will not let the campers bring spray bottles / cans. 

[Stosh]

I think one can get those sunscreen sprays in a pump bottle.

[SSScout]

Momleader:   Glad we could be the sympathetic ear.   Now, what to do with this not unreasonable list of desires?

Have you shared with your Camp Director?   DE?  

After Good Wife was CD for 5 years and I was (Official Title!) the First Assistant Everything Else,  we learned that very often an indirect approach was good:   Unless the Scout is a real danger to himself or others, if possible, we first spoke to the parent's friend to speak to them.  If we needed to speak to the parent, we (CD, DE, myself, another adult staffer) sometimes had to "ambush" the parent , and spoke to them with a partner (witness) along.  If possible, without the Scout at first, but always with the Scout eventually.  If the Scout protested and denied, we had our witness to back us up. If the parent refused to accept that their Angel Scout could possibly be at fault, we had the witness to the event.   We would be direct, short and sweet, no bush around beating.  We never made any threat of consequence we were not ready to fulfill (call for the parent to pick up, bar from camp, not allow to swim, not allow to do archery, etc.) .  AND we always had the support and agreement of the DE. Without that, you will not succeed in your discipline corrections. 

 

Of course, all this presupposes there is no diagnosed ADHD issues. That  also needs to be addressed and discussed with the parent(s) in a different but similar manner.

 

Might be too late for this year,  But perhaps you can share (all feedback is a gift) ,  have a communication with the other CSDC Directors in your Council, other neighboring Districts?

I hope your CSDC can learn for next years adventure!

Edited July 17, 2016 by SSScout

[qwazse]

I think one can get those sunscreen sprays in a pump bottle.

Precisely what I'm talking about. For a while here was a sporting goods store next to camp, that 3 or 6 oz. bottles ... Perfect pocket or hip pack material.

[NJCubScouter]

Momleader, good points.  On #2, what you experience is probably what the parents also experience at home, and they don't deal with it properly, so the kids figure it will work on you too.  On #6 I get the impression you don't just mean "other towns" but are being diplomatic.