Mamma bear here again? Can we talk?

[Stosh]

LOL Stosh, good point.

 

I'm reviewing my grey cells as we speak...as I recall, there wasn't another scout I could have picked to be ASPL.   The PLs would have been good choices, but they were gainfully employed training their patrol members, most of whom were new scouts.   Either way, I had to just gut it out.

 

Pick a scout with potential and train him up to be an excellent ASPL, right-hand man to the SPL.  One who will eventually take over and do an even better job than you.

 

Oh, by the way, isn't this the same process we as adults use?  We scan over the parents to see the best potential out there, take them on as ASM with the hope some day they will make a great SM?

Edited March 15, 2016 by Stosh

[desertrat77]

Pick a scout with potential and train him up to be an excellent ASPL, right-hand man to the SPL.  One who will eventually take over and do an even better job than you.

 

Oh, by the way, isn't this the same process we as adults use?  We scan over the parents to see the best potential out there, take them on as ASM with the hope some day they will make a great SM?

Now that you mention it, an ASPL was appointed (eventually).   After I moved to JASM, the ASPL became the SPL and did in fact do a better job than me .  This all happened after the old SM left and a new one took over, as well a few experienced scouts joining the troop.

[Krampus]

@@zuzy, my son is in a similar situation. My advice is to sit back and let him handle EVERYTHING! You can poke and prod all you like but that rarely gets a kid to move on anything. Even *if* it works you will never know if his accomplishment was his or yours. You have got to be prepared to let him fail (at doing his Eagle work) and at SPL. He will learn through his failures just like in school.

 

I would discretely let the SM know his issues. Chances are the SM might have observed something already. Letting him know your son's learning style (visual, written, audio) will help the SM tailor his messages to your son.

 

Relax and let your son take his journey. You will be even MORE proud of him when he does it on his own. 

[Stosh]

I hope my legacy for my boys is not how great a SM I was, but how well I helped them become great leaders.... and how well they were able to pass that knowledge along to others.

[zuzy]

chills guys.................

[Stosh]

  @@zuzy

 

Don't worry zuzy, the three of us are all in agreement with what you are doing with your son's situation.  There's nothing wrong with taking an interest in your boy's success in life, You can't do it for him, but as you support him in his growth and development, you might want to consider some of the things we have said to pass along to him.

 

If anything seems to be different between us, it is not that we disagree with each other's comments, it just means we all have different options for you to consider.  Having an arsenal of options is a lot more productive for you than just spewing out a one-size-fits-all.  It's up to you to do what's best for your family. 

[perdidochas]

SPL did not get chance to appoint, SM did the choosing.  SPL does not even "know" all the boys positions.

Well, SPL is supposed to appoint all the positions with the help of the SM.  ASPL is especially important for the SPL to appoint. The PORs are the SPL's "cabinet." 

[Krampus]

chills guys.................

 

ROFL. Well, unless your Scout turns 18 in the next six months you may want to chill too.

 

I see it all too often when parents take too much of an interest in what how fast a Scout gets his work done. You asked for input and you are getting it, though you may not like the answer. @@Stosh is right, we applaud your vigor and interest...but it seems from your posts that you might be worrying too much. If he's got more than a year to finish Eagle then RELAX!! He will get it done.

 

Heck, we have an autistic Scout who turns 18 in May. His project is next week and he's still got MBs to close out, but he is on the case and will get it done. If you son's project was done last month and his workbook is not done yet I'd say he's AHEAD of schedule.

 

Relax. He will get it done.

[zuzy]

Thanks so much all of you, really.... when I typed chills, I meant it gave me chills to read how you want your scouts to rememeber you by, and I wished my son had leaders like you  

[Krampus]

Thanks so much all of you, really.... when I typed chills, I meant it gave me chills to read how you want your scouts to rememeber you by, and I wished my son had leaders like you  

 

LOL...Online simply cannot convey emotions, can it?

 

You've got the right attitude, just keep the interest up and try to avoid becoming overwhelmed. My Scout completed his Eagle project, has 1 (very easy) requirement left to do in each of 3 three MBs. Has not completed his write up yet and turns 18 in 6 months. Inside I am chewing my nails. On the outside it's his to lose.

 

Having walked away from Eagle at 16 (SMC done, just needed BOR) I know what it means to not get it. Has haunted me since but made me a better Scout. If my son ends up doing that he just may end up learning a more important lesson.

 

Keep the faith!

[qwazse]

Regarding disclosure, your son is approaching the age where he can decide on his own if he should explain his disability.

 

I've mentioned elsewhere that a person should not be commissioner of any unit in which his/her kid is a member. If the district wants to "fix" anything, they can hire another marshall. This SM is willing to run meetings on a day when very few will. You and your husband owe him. You don't have to like how he does things one bit. You just have to be on his side, because at the end of the day he's on your son's side.

 

@@Stosh is right about the research. Your son might be the one boy out there who will read the SPL Handbook. Get it for him if he doesn't already have it. Tell him to read it. Then later, maybe at a campfire, after the other scouts are safely in their tents, he can talk to the SM about how his job differs from the handbook. Then simply ask "Should we change that?"

[John-in-KC]

Agree with all.

 

My sole comment is to reinforce Stosh:  It is absolutely, postively, a bad business practice of your District to assign an adult with a youth member to be his troops' own UC.

 

The downside risk of your husband being the unit UC is you two get known as helicopter parents.  Let your son fly on his own.  Be there behind the scenes to help him dust off when he falls.  He's strong already, and he'll be stronger for taking the falls.

[MattHiggins]

Personally, I would suggest disclosing your son's autism. As a unit leader, I find it difficult to set appropriate expectations without knowing such information.

Edited March 25, 2016 by MattHiggins

[Tampa Turtle]

Zuzy, How is the Eagle paperwork going? I am in the almost exact boat. My paperwork for my son takes 3x as long partially due to his disabilities...making me sweat it before he ages out. The flaky BSA PDF form does not help...

 

As for the other issues...frustrating but typical.