New SM not new to Scouting

[qwazse]

Okay, we've settled that you need to get a flowers and chocolates weekly subscription.

 

Choose a different catchphrase about parents. You're asking them to give up their boys for entire weekends now. The results you're offering will take years to realize. Things aren't settled by an end-of-season box score. Parents who may not have served well on the pitch may be exactly who you need on your troop committee. You will need:

 

A troop committee chairman whom you that your back and who will have the stones to tell you when you suck.

A charter org rep who has a pulse on he people who own your meeting place.

ASMs who live up to their title and are really yor assistants.

A unit commishioner who will help you set obtainable goals.

 

You and the wife and kids need to get up in those beautiful hills you all have in your backyard. If that ain't happening, you're doing it wrong.

[blw2]

about the kids and camping.  All three of my kids have camped since they were infants.  The first two were tenting but what I call tailgate camping, but sadly my youngest has only done the rv thing and not really camping, but my point is that I too think they can and should be going with you. 

but not with the troop, and that's a rub to consider.  Tough though if the wife isn't into camping.

& I'd guess that if you run an active troop you'll be camping often with the troop and won't have much time for family camping.

 

The way may pack operated, all pack events were family events, and we used to do a lot of family camping.  Little kids, sisters, it was all welcome and good.  So from that perspective being a scouter with the pack and helping scouting that way might seem a better fit for you in your situation.  But of course that's not the need that you're filling.

 

Anyway, I wanted to chime in with one more comment.  You're getting a lot of dissenting and negative comments here in your first thread.  

But I really would like to encourage you to continue to participate here.  Please don't get discouraged or put off.

There's good folks here, lots of experience and different points of view.  I find it much better than a round-table meeting for purposes of brainstorming and getting other perspectives outside of your own unit.

on top of that, we will appreciate your experience and ideas in the conversations.

 

& I have to say, I had a similar experience to @@Eagle94-A1.  My wife said she supported me when I was faced with taking the cubmaster position, and she really did want to, but for a variety of reasons I ended up spending more time than I should have... mostly because our pack didn't really have a functional committee beyond the den leaders, the CC was well intentioned but disengaged, and most of the parents wouldn't step up to help.  I was able to do a lot of it during the day, but it still occupied my mind and took a lot of time away from my family focus.  In the end, she said she supported me, as long as I didn't let her see me doing things for scouting  ... & it came to be that I couldn't brainstorm things with her very much either. Not a good situation.

[Krampus]

I remember being young. I knew everything, other knew nothing. I was bullet proof. My wife was a hobby and kids were a distant idea. It was all about me. Then I had kids.

 

I must admit, I was entirely unprepared for the hold my kids would have over me. I dropped EVERYTHING to spend all my time with my wife and family. All those other activities went by the wayside...and I never regretted it.

 

I look back now, 20 years later, and have ZERO regrets. In fact, my decision is validated again and again every time I look at videos and pictures of my family and kids growing up.

 

Sometimes it takes growing up as adults to realize what is important in our lives. Sadly, we never listen to the advice we get when we are younger because we are convinced we know better. Good luck.

 

[@@Stosh, camping when you were 4? Weren't the winters so much harsher back then? ]

[Stosh]

I remember being young. I knew everything, other knew nothing. I was bullet proof. My wife was a hobby and kids were a distant idea. It was all about me. Then I had kids.

 

I must admit, I was entirely unprepared for the hold my kids would have over me. I dropped EVERYTHING to spend all my time with my wife and family. All those other activities went by the wayside...and I never regretted it.

 

I look back now, 20 years later, and have ZERO regrets. In fact, my decision is validated again and again every time I look at videos and pictures of my family and kids growing up.

 

Sometimes it takes growing up as adults to realize what is important in our lives. Sadly, we never listen to the advice we get when we are younger because we are convinced we know better. Good luck.

 

[@@Stosh, camping when you were 4? Weren't the winters so much harsher back then? ]

 

Just imagine a morning where it's -20^o, windchill that takes it down to -45^o.  Dad said he would take me on my five mile paper route but the car won't start.  The grease in the bike axles is frozen up and the wheels won't turn, so it's a 5+ mile hike pulling a sled full of papers.  Had to stage out the papers because there were too many to get on the sled all at the same time.  I don't have to exaggerate for my grandchildren.  Snow was so deep that winter that I had to stop at every driveway to see what house I was at. Nobody shoveled sidewalks that year, it was way too deep and had no place to go,   8' piles on both sides of the street with openings where people shoveled out their driveways to get to the house/garages.  Didn't have snow blowers back then, just neighborhood boys looking to make a few bucks.   

[Stosh]

htusa31, I'm with blw2 on this point.  Don't let the naysayers discourage you.  The wife/family thing, we all work at whether we've been at it for 4 months or 40 years.  As a soccer coach you know what parents are like, they don't get any better or worse with scouting, but as mentioned a good CC and committee can be a real asset if they really do cover your back.  Your attitude of total focus on the boys is not an asset, it's a curse, but if you can take the heat, it's the only way to go!

 

Boys of scout age are looking to define their independence as they mature.  That puts them at odds with their parents who want to keep them their's forever...  Well, if you side with the boys, you naturally side against the parents.  If you sell out it is to the detriment of the boys.  It's not an easy road and the temptation to go with the flow, pencil whip the requirements, and get everyone their Eagle whatever it takes, and constantly acquiescing to the parents will make a popular youth group, but not necessarily a place where boys learn to grow up, be leaders and are successful later in life.  

[Krampus]

Just imagine a morning where it's -20^o, windchill that takes it down to -45^o.  Dad said he would take me on my five mile town crier route but the chariot won't start.  The grease in the chariot axles is frozen up and the wheels won't turn, so it's a 5+ mile hike pulling a sled full of hand bills.  Had to stage out the hand bills because there were too many to get on the sled all at the same time.  I don't have to exaggerate for my grandchildren.  Snow was so deep that winter that I had to stop at every driveway to see what house I was at. Nobody shoveled sidewalks that year, it was way too deep and had no place to go,   8' piles on both sides of the street with openings where people shoveled out their driveways to get to the house/garages.  Didn't have servants back then, just village boys looking to make a few dinar. 

 

Fixed your post in bold.  

[Stosh]

Fixed your post in bold.  

Oooooooh, much better, I like it! 

[htusa31]

Thanks Stosh and blw2. I'm not going anywhere. The heat I can handle.

If the kids can't be coached by a tough coach, then the real world will be interesting.

For those who don't like my attitude that's fine. I've been hated by worse.

I'm just a no bull shoot you straight kinda guy. I walked on eggshells for years and I'll never do that again.

I'm a heck of a moviator. A prior manager told me I could sell ice to Eskimos.

I've been known to get change where change was needed. So I'm not worried about getting the job done.

So let's move along to the reason why I started this thread.

Any suggestions on being a SM?

Fundraising ideas?

Other than don't do it and my attitude sucks. You only judge me from a few comments so Ill ignore that fact.

[Stosh]

As far as being a SM, get as much training as possible, attend all the RoundTables, talk especially to the older guys, but be careful of the Old Guard guys that are mired in the mud.  The forum has every conceivable point of view you could ever imagine, read it and take what you think will work for your boys and if it doesn't, try something else, and keep trying until it works.

 

Remember, YOU ARE NOT A COACH when you wear your SM hat.  There's no game to win, only the development and maturity of young boys and they will do that on their time table, not yours.  Your "wins" will be entirely in the comments they make, there is no other team out there, just the dragons your boys will need to slay on their own.  Be there to pick them up when they fall, dust them off, and congratulate them on surviving the failure, because that's how they learn.

 

Every boy that walks into your troop has the potential of being a really great friend that you will remember many years later.  Enjoy them while you are able.  They are transitioning from childhood to manhood and it's not an easy road for any of them.  You are there to help them with the rough spot and celebrate the rest.

 

As far as fundraising goes, instead of popcorn, why not sell ice. 

[qwazse]

A lot of the details about what fundraising will work and what style you need to adopt will come from the people in your community. For example, everyone expects our boys to hold a spaghetti dinner fundraiser weather they need the money or not. Even though that particular church is no longer our CO, they would like the boys to hold it there. Most scouting is local. Go figure.

 

I would recommend this little exercise (you might be buying quite a few folks' coffees):

 

Look up your classmates who were scouts (even if it was just for a couple of years) in your troop, and see if a few of them can get together for an hour to talk about old times. Let them know what you are planning to do, and ask them if they could talk to you about what they liked about your troop and what they didn't like. Ask the boys who were only scouts for a short time why they left the troop, and those who were there until aging out why they stayed.

 

Hopefully there weren't any terrible skeletons. But you might hear a few things that went on that you never noticed as a boy. Those will inform you as to the kind scouter that you may want to be. Maybe you'll be a lot like your former SM, but maybe there was some adult who you never gave much thought, but made a world of difference in your buddies' careers as scouts. If so, it might behoove you to get to know that person. There might be things your SM did that were really off-putting, or a situation or two he didn't handle well. By now everyone ought to be able to understand both sides of whatever it was, but it will help you learn generally what your troop will need from you as an SM. And, if you can't provided it, what you will need to ask from other adults to make troop and your district be the very best they can be.

 

And from that meeting, you might just get one or two volunteers.

Edited January 10, 2016 by qwazse

[ScouterAdam]

Congrats on everything.  Totally awesome.   My two cents.  Become a Merit Badge Counselor/Committee Member and help when you can.  Also, you could become a Unit Commissioner.  Slowly ease your way into Scouting.  Being a SM is time consuming and you have a family.  That is more important.

As to fundraising...Well, that is for the Committee Chair and Committee to figure out.  The SM is in charge of the program, not administration.

[Krampus]

So let's move along to the reason why I started this thread.

Any suggestions on being a SM?

Fundraising ideas?

 

Yes...leave fund-raising to your troop committee and the PLC. 

 

The best way to be successful AND make sure you have time for family is to do your job and not the job of other people. Delegate, delegate, delegate...and teach the boys to run things. If done right you should be working more in the background and saying less than anyone. The best SM says little and is rarely ever seen. The boys should be leading, doing. The adults are in the background making it work for the things the boys cannot do.

 

If you don't delegate you will burn out in a year or two.

[blw2]

I like qwazse's suggestion of reaching out to old scout friends.  Seems like a great idea if you could pull that off.

Even if you know how to contact only one....he might know how to get in touch with others.  

Anyway, seems like a great suggestion.

 

As far as being a SM, get as much training as possible, attend all the RoundTables, talk especially to the older guys, but be careful of the Old Guard guys that are mired in the mud.  The forum has every conceivable point of view you could ever imagine, read it and take what you think will work for your boys and if it doesn't, try something else, and keep trying until it works.

 

Remember, YOU ARE NOT A COACH when you wear your SM hat.  There's no game to win, only the development and maturity of young boys and they will do that on their time table, not yours.  Your "wins" will be entirely in the comments they make, there is no other team out there, just the dragons your boys will need to slay on their own.  Be there to pick them up when they fall, dust them off, and congratulate them on surviving the failure, because that's how they learn.

 

Every boy that walks into your troop has the potential of being a really great friend that you will remember many years later.  Enjoy them while you are able.  They are transitioning from childhood to manhood and it's not an easy road for any of them.  You are there to help them with the rough spot and celebrate the rest.

 

As far as fundraising goes, instead of popcorn, why not sell ice. 

 

I've seen analogies used many times of scouting to sports, even that the SM is like the coach.

I think it makes sense in terms of parents staying off the playing field

but Stosh is right, I think.  It does seem to fall apart with the coach comparison.  Some very significant differences.

 

I suggested a book earlier in this thread (So Far So Good, A New Scoutmaster's Journey)

I thought of another one, also a very easy, short, and quick reading.

"Aids to Scoutmastership", by Baden-Powell

you can find the full text of it online for free.

I ordered a copy from amazon.  It's very old, but it still applies I'd think....

and a third and I think very excellent resource is scoutmastercg.com

... and of course this forum

 

I've only been a Cub Scouter (cubmaster, assistant cubmaster, and assistant DL) so far, so this isn't coming from vast troop level experience, but I have been doing a lot of reading lately and have been participating here for a while now.  (these conversations are better than any I've had at our roundtables)

Anyway, it just seem a good idea to get a fresh understanding of the foundations of scouting to boost your youth experience with either good reminders or good ideas of different or better ways.

I sure do wish I could have known to read this stuff before I got heavily involved with the pack.  I could have been a much better cub leader I think, even the focus is scouts and not cubs.

Edited January 11, 2016 by blw2

[SSF]

You came to the realization that "parents suck...?" 

 

You may feel a little differently when your son or daughter experiences some kind of issue with a coach, teacher, scout leader, etc. 

[htusa31]

Yes...leave fund-raising to your troop committee and the PLC. 

 

The best way to be successful AND make sure you have time for family is to do your job and not the job of other people. Delegate, delegate, delegate...and teach the boys to run things. If done right you should be working more in the background and saying less than anyone. The best SM says little and is rarely ever seen. The boys should be leading, doing. The adults are in the background making it work for the things the boys cannot do.

 

If you don't delegate you will burn out in a year or two.

Agreed 100%, on the delegation. I ran the team the same way. Some parents did different parts. I just had to coordinate and coach. I think I had to once go and setup a soccer game. Parent dropped the ball and someone was put into her place the next day.

Sadly the Scoutmaster is put on the forefront to come up with fundrasing ideas. I will work on transitioning that out of my hands to the proper hands. 

 

A lot of the details about what fundraising will work and what style you need to adopt will come from the people in your community. For example, everyone expects our boys to hold a spaghetti dinner fundraiser weather they need the money or not. Even though that particular church is no longer our CO, they would like the boys to hold it there. Most scouting is local. Go figure.

 

I would recommend this little exercise (you might be buying quite a few folks' coffees):

 

Look up your classmates who were scouts (even if it was just for a couple of years) in your troop, and see if a few of them can get together for an hour to talk about old times. Let them know what you are planning to do, and ask them if they could talk to you about what they liked about your troop and what they didn't like. Ask the boys who were only scouts for a short time why they left the troop, and those who were there until aging out why they stayed.

 

Hopefully there weren't any terrible skeletons. But you might hear a few things that went on that you never noticed as a boy. Those will inform you as to the kind scouter that you may want to be. Maybe you'll be a lot like your former SM, but maybe there was some adult who you never gave much thought, but made a world of difference in your buddies' careers as scouts. If so, it might behoove you to get to know that person. There might be things your SM did that were really off-putting, or a situation or two he didn't handle well. By now everyone ought to be able to understand both sides of whatever it was, but it will help you learn generally what your troop will need from you as an SM. And, if you can't provided it, what you will need to ask from other adults to make troop and your district be the very best they can be.

 

And from that meeting, you might just get one or two volunteers.

 

I am good friends with 90% of my old troopmates. 25% are my best friends. We have talked about scouting and what to do and how we would run it over the years. Luckily there is not much we would change. 

I like qwazse's suggestion of reaching out to old scout friends.  Seems like a great idea if you could pull that off.

Even if you know how to contact only one....he might know how to get in touch with others.  

Anyway, seems like a great suggestion.

 

 

I've seen analogies used many times of scouting to sports, even that the SM is like the coach.

I think it makes sense in terms of parents staying off the playing field

but Stosh is right, I think.  It does seem to fall apart with the coach comparison.  Some very significant differences.

 

I suggested a book earlier in this thread (So Far So Good, A New Scoutmaster's Journey)

I thought of another one, also a very easy, short, and quick reading.

"Aids to Scoutmastership", by Baden-Powell

you can find the full text of it online for free.

I ordered a copy from amazon.  It's very old, but it still applies I'd think....

and a third and I think very excellent resource is scoutmastercg.com

... and of course this forum

 

I've only been a Cub Scouter (cubmaster, assistant cubmaster, and assistant DL) so far, so this isn't coming from vast troop level experience, but I have been doing a lot of reading lately and have been participating here for a while now.  (these conversations are better than any I've had at our roundtables)

Anyway, it just seem a good idea to get a fresh understanding of the foundations of scouting to boost your youth experience with either good reminders or good ideas of different or better ways.

I sure do wish I could have known to read this stuff before I got heavily involved with the pack.  I could have been a much better cub leader I think, even the focus is scouts and not cubs.

 I have the Aids, and So far on order from Amazon. 

I went ahead and bought the Vol 1 Trainers guide. Vol 2 should be out here shortly. 

The new scout handbook wont hit my local ship until Jan 22.

 

As for the Coach to SM, they have differences yes to the untrained eye. While I was a coach I just wasn't a coach I was leader/guide. Teaching them that soccer can be a stepping stone to getting ahead in life. I had probably 45% of my boys get college scholarships for soccer. (partial or full) My first kids are now graduating. Some have went on to Masters, the others are getting well paying jobs.

I was also teaching them that soccer is a job, if you want to be good at that job give me 100% all the time. Same applies to work, give 100% all the time and the rewards will be bountiful.

 

Same goes for being a SM, the goal in scouts is getting the Eagle rank, but its not the end goal. The end goal is learning about and how to handle life on your own. Whether that is a job welding, running your own business, or savings someone life. Scouts teaching you how to handle those things and how to grasp life and make it your own.