New SM not new to Scouting

[htusa31]

Ok so after getting my Eagle(2005)I went off to college, got my degree, found my wife, had a couple of kiddos. Had my daughter in 2013(light of my life) My boy was born in August (2015).

So the Boy is way too young to be thinking about scouts just yet but that doesn't mean Dad cant.

Yes I know he may not like it but hopefully with my good influence he will follow Dad. Its his choice in the end and all that. I don't see him not doing it. I am the first Eagle in my family so hopefully he will follow suit.

I dont think I will get my daughter involved in the local GS, to be quite honest they are not what I call Scouts(just the local area not in general)

Hopefully she will want to do Venturing and that will be fun.

 

Anyways my old scout leader (married into his family, married his distance niece, but still close enough for family functions), tells me at a Christmas part they need a Scoutmaster.

He has wanted me to come back to be an assistant, but I haven't been keen on an assistant role. This is not because I dont want to work with boys, I just want to enjoy time with my kids and family. I of course have had other hobbies, but those hobbies are not holding my interests anymore, I guess I am looking to find something to fill that hobby time. Of course allows me to bring the kids even young, to campouts and such. Gets them outdoors at a young age. I can also bring the kids to meetings and give the wife a few hours of alone time. 

 

It took me a second to register, that they want me to run the show now. Of course I am not stranger to leading, I was head soccer coach for 6 years to ages 10-20. I can lead a team and get results that are needed(This was with AYSO and I had a impressive winning record. I just got tired of parents thinking they run the show and their kids is the best thing since Donovan. I came to the realization that parents suck.)

 

So anyways, besides a few things I know from my young scouting days, anyone care to give a few pointers? Ill be the youngest in the area running a troop. (28)

We have some fund raising to do, old SM didnt do popcorn or fundraising(work) and we have less than 800$ in the bank at the moment.

Any suggestions??

Thanks in advance.

 

[Stosh]

First of all - Welcome to the forum!

 

Secondly of all congrats on Eagle, degree, marriage, and the little ones. 

 

My son did not follow in my footsteps.  I made it to 2nd Class, and stayed on in scouts for 40+ years.  He made it Star and walked away never to look back.    Just give him the opportunity and let him decide for himself (you can encourage and support all you want.)

 

As far as fund raising.... I'm the last person to ask.  My boys just spent every penny in the bank from last fall's popcorn drive to pay for winter camp and the opportunity to recruit Webelos boys with it.  They have spent it all!  They have no money for even advancement patches.  They know it and they are making plans to raise more for summer camp.  They'll keep me posted as to how things are going.

 

So how's this going to shake out in the long run?  Mr. Stosh and his lovely ASM are going to start writing checks out of our personal funds to keep the new troop solvent as long as the boys keep working at it.  When they quit, so do we. 

 

....and who said Scouting isn't an adventure! 

Edited January 8, 2016 by Stosh

[MattR]

Welcome to the forums.

 

I'm reading tea leaves here, but my suggestion is to not be SM. You have your plate full and you do not want to be burned out 10 years from now when your son is looking for a troop. Granted, cub scouts is not nearly as much fun as boy scouts, but don't you want to spend time with your son? If you're the SM you might be forced into going on a campout when your son is doing some cub scout event.

 

You can be ASM, you can still help out, have fun, and learn, but you can also say nope, can't make that. At the end of the day, it is the SM's responsibility. I've seen a couple of people get signed up for SM before they joined a troop and it has never worked well. It's an indication that the troop is struggling. That's not a good place for you to learn about being a SM.

 

Also, and I want to say this politely, but your comment that "I came to the realization that parents suck" is a bit harsh. Yes, there are some parents that are immature and don't see beyond their own kid, but the majority are wonderful. Hopefully you mean "some parents suck."

 

Best of luck.

[perdidochas]

I agree with MattR.  You are a fairly new father.  Your oldest is still two years away from starting school.  Your youngest isn't walking. I wouldn't sacrifice my time as a father of toddlers for being a Scoutmaster.  Wait until your boy is a Tiger Cub--be a leader for him, and work your way up.  Also, it's less than an ideal situation to carry small kids on Boy Scout campouts. 

[JasonG172]

 Granted, cub scouts is not nearly as much fun as boy scouts,

 

 

I beg to differ! lol

Son's moving up to the troop and I am remaining with the pack! 

[MattR]

I beg to differ! lol

Son's moving up to the troop and I am remaining with the pack! 

Good for you, and for your pack. My pack didn't want to do much outdoors. Your point is well taken and is another opportunity for htusa31

[Eagle69]

Rethink being SM with your young family.   They may tell you it is 1 hour per week, but the "one hour per week per boy" joke is not far off.  I started as SM about the same age as you did, but I had no wife or family so my time was my time.  I did this for 28  years and went back to being an ASM where now I decide if I want to go on this outing or come to that meeting.   To succeed as SM you will need to attend monthly Roundtable, Training, etc, all of which will eat into your family time.  I would say wait a few years and then give it a go when your son is part of the program.

[Krampus]

@@htusa31, smart advice here.

 

If you are a young dad spend the time with your kids and wife. That time is SUPER important to make sure your kids develop in to decent human beings. There will ALWAYS be time to volunteer for your boys at the unit level.

 

BTW, being a Cubmaster or Scoutmaster is WAY more than the proverbial 1 hour a week. It is more like a second job. Be patient and take on that task when your kids are older.

[htusa31]

Welcome to the forums.

 

I'm reading tea leaves here, but my suggestion is to not be SM. You have your plate full and you do not want to be burned out 10 years from now when your son is looking for a troop. Granted, cub scouts is not nearly as much fun as boy scouts, but don't you want to spend time with your son? If you're the SM you might be forced into going on a campout when your son is doing some cub scout event.

 

You can be ASM, you can still help out, have fun, and learn, but you can also say nope, can't make that. At the end of the day, it is the SM's responsibility. I've seen a couple of people get signed up for SM before they joined a troop and it has never worked well. It's an indication that the troop is struggling. That's not a good place for you to learn about being a SM.

 

Also, and I want to say this politely, but your comment that "I came to the realization that parents suck" is a bit harsh. Yes, there are some parents that are immature and don't see beyond their own kid, but the majority are wonderful. Hopefully you mean "some parents suck."

 

Best of luck.

Nope I meant every word. Its harsh but it gets the point across really quick. I started using that phrase in my second coaching year. As soon as I say that, parents quickly straighten up, feel disrespected, some get red mad. Those are those ones you dont want around. The others take a second and realize, yeah you are right. Parents do suck. Why?? Because when I get a kid in soccer, the parent becomes a spectator. (after that time period they become parents again) The same will apply to Scouts. This is a boy lead group. I came out of this troop. We have always been boy led. SPL gets what we as leaders want to do and conducts it. 

 

As for taking kids camping, I will not take them under 7yo. We also do not do a lot of District camping anymore, as the only places the district goes is cow pastures. We have the Smoky Mountains in our backyard and all they do it camp in cow pastures.

Yes my kids are young, but I promise I wont miss a beat with them. I havent yet. I love my work, and I work for a family run company, so time off is not a problem for anything family related. Its the type of job that I use my IT Business degree for.

 

Anyways as for it being all on me, it will not be. Luckily we have the same leaders I had when I was in. They already know the working and kid schedule. We each pull up the slack the other leaves behind. Im not worried about being burned out. Ive been in since I was 7. 15 years of total service.

 

We have an nice Cub Scout group that feeds the Boy Scout troop and they met on Tuesdays, the day after Boy Scouts. 

 

Trust me I already thought about the concerns mentioned. Wife is supportive as well. We had a nice long talk about it before I went out and bought what I needed. 

[blw2]

Good luck!

I can't disagree with the others.

In fact if I had it to do over again, i very likely wouldn't start my son until probably Bear or maybe WEBELOS

The burnout concern is real, and I'll guess you have a lot to figure out.  They are also correct about maximizing these years when your kids are young.

but it seems it's a done deal in your mind, so congrats, and I wish you luck.

It's good to have wife's support, but keep an eye on that... I had my wife's support when i took on Cubmaster, but I don't think she knew what it meant!

 

 

You're coming from a much more rich scouting background than I had, but I do have one suggestion that comes to mind.  

http://scoutmastercg.com/far-good-new-scoutmasters-story/

Even though we're coming from different places, I think this book might help you.... and I think it should be a must read for every new scouter and every new scout parent.  It's an easy read, and probably glosses over a lot, maybe a little too simple.... but based on what I have read and seen so far, it's great food for thought.   Especially something that applies to your situation, and that is knowing the direction you want to take the troop and establishing that trust and report with the CC and committee, and establishing those expectations up front with the ASM's and parents

[Eagledad]

Nope I meant every word. Its harsh but it gets the point across really quick. I started using that phrase in my second coaching year. As soon as I say that, parents quickly straighten up, feel disrespected, some get red mad. Those are those ones you dont want around. The others take a second and realize, yeah you are right. Parents do suck. Why?? Because when I get a kid in soccer, the parent becomes a spectator. (after that time period they become parents again) The same will apply to Scouts. This is a boy lead group. I came out of this troop. We have always been boy led. SPL gets what we as leaders want to do and conducts it. 

 

 

 

Hi htusa, welcome to the place of ideas and imagination.

 

Please don't take this wrong, but I was hard headed and learned how to work with boys by doing more things wrong than I did right. Honestly, I cringe when I look back at myself. I think most of us do.

 

You aren't ready. If you haven't yet developed the skills to get the desired response from parents without using a condescending approach, you haven't grown enough yet to build a team of parents willing to support you in the most difficult times. The objective of sports is simple. But in the deep woods of values and ideals, the methods of the scouting program today can be a hard sell. Much of the time parents may not understand the program, but they will trust the leader. Parents have a good feel for character and if the adult who is working close with their son is comfortable freely talking down to adults, how much easier would he be talking down to their son? The principle of scouting is guiding scouts to make good decisions based from the values of the Oath and Law. There is nothing scout like in being condescending.

 

Barry

[Stosh]

htusa31

 

I started camping at the age of 4 years.  My younger brothers started before they were a year old.  By the time I started scouts I was already proficient in campfire cooking and owned my own equipment for overnight camping under canvas.  From early May through mid to late October, my family camped every weekend with a group of other campers.  Dad bought a runabout for skiing when we started high school. 

 

Only my brother and I still do the outdoor thing.  Never burned out.  Younger brother been in adult scouting for 20+ years, I've been in scouting 40+ years.  Still working on burning out. 

 

Go for the adventure, pace yourself a bit, and when it isn't much fun, just back off a bit, be in charge of the coffee pot and let the young and foolish do the heavy lifting.

 

I do tend to agree with you on the parent thing as well.  They are black or white, there is no gray with them.  Either they are the best support team on earth or the demon spawn.  They let you know right away which they are...... 

 

The ride will be great when your boy gets old enough for Tigers, but there's nothing to say the daughter can't camp.  I have one daughter that tolerates camping and will go out once a year to make me happy and the other is always bugging me to take her camping, and now her daughter too.  She's only two, but she's been out there now as well.  I have been told in no uncertain terms I'm responsible for teaching my granddaughter how to hunt, fish and camp. 

 

Live the adventure, don't just read about it.

Edited January 9, 2016 by Stosh

[Eagle94-A1]

As someone who has been in similar shoes, i.e. young family and OA chapter advisory, training chair, etc with a young family,  I can tell you it's doable, BUT you must have a VERY supportive wife. One thing that helped me out was that for the first 4 years I was a parent, I was in grad school. Since my classes were at night, I was a stay at home dad. So I was able to be with the kids for a lot of the time.

 

Doesn't mean SWMBO and I dad I disagreements and arguments over my involvement in Scouting. Especially when the third one showed up, and I finally finished grad school and was working full time. Upon reflection, approx. 90% of the arguments the wife and I have had involved Scouting.

 

This is something to think about. 

 

Me personally, I'm addicted to Scouting. I tried twice to step away from Scouting. First time lasted about 4 months. Only lasted that long because the job was working with "hoods in da woods." Second time lasted about 1.5 weeks.

 

Good luck.

[htusa31]

I have been wanting to get back into the woods for a few years now. Wife is not a big camper. I used to do the highland games but those are only me involved. Scouts will allow me to interact more with the kids. Much less travel and more time at home in general.

As for the condescending approach. You don't understand why I have that speech. Its there for a reason and it works. I have more respect from parents with that approach than being shy and quiet about it. I'm upfront honest from the start. It puts their expectations in check, that they are the parent and are welcome to help but they are not the primary reason I'm here. I'm here for the kids and to help them not stroke a parents ego. Its about the kids and kids only.

[F-P]

That attitude would turn me off and you would have one less boy in your troop. Why would I leave him with someone that doesn't respect me - so he can pick up that attitude? And I wouldn't want to volunteer my time to be associated with someone that projects that attitude either.

I get that parents can present issues, but your speech is a complete turnoff. But you're young and hopefully you will learn.

Good luck.