Parent Training

[KenD500]

@@JoeBob mentioned in the Disruptive Scout thread about training parents.

 

It seems part of the SM job description is to train the parents.  Most of the time it's subtle - the parents start questioning there own behavior after hearing & hopefully seeing the Scout oath & law being lived.  Other times it's not so subtle - when the parent comes and talks with you about their Scout and some issues their having.

 

Does anyone else experience this?

 

 

[qwazse]

Life is so much better when the CC and ASM's take up the slack on this. I've reached the point where I'm the old-guy-in-the-room most places, so when I rattle off parenting advice, folks actually think I know what I'm talking about. SM's are really glad when they don't have to deal with minutiae from anyone except his PL's.

 

There are precious few things a parent needs to really talk to the SM about. (Some examples: "I made some extra cookies. Mind if Johnny brings them to the meeting?", "I have this prime camping spot and it's free every third weekend.", "I'm a trained EMT/lifeguard/belly dance instructor ... certifications up to date ... just in case your program needs it.")

 

Sure there are some serious things, but those should always be with the understanding that the SM will get advice from or direct them to anther trustworthy adult who knows how to help.

Edited December 9, 2015 by qwazse

[Stosh]

In my troop the understanding is the CC deals with people over 18 and the SM deals with people under 18. 

 

If a parent has a problem with the way the troop is run, they do not go to the PL, the SPL, nor the SM.  Their first point of contact is the CC.  Then if the CC feels it's a justified concern or he/she doesn't have the whole story, then the CC and parents approach the SM.  If it's an issue with the SPL, then the CC, parents and SM aproach the SPL, if it's the PL causing the concern, then the CC, parents, SM, SPL approach the PL.  That's the way it is structured.  In reality most of the issues get resolved with contact with the CC and maybe the SM if need be.  I've never had a situation where parent concerns have ever involved getting the boys into the mix but the structure is there if needed.

 

If a parent addresses a boy directly with a negative concern they may have the boys are all instructed to get the SM involved in the situation immediately.  The SM has the right to involve the CC as necessary as well.  The more people involve, the more transparency and the more the petty issues get solved and off the table.

 

If it's a legitimate concern, the more adults involved in the situation the better the resolution.  Nothing we do is ever done in a smoke-filled back room.  Everything is out in the open.  Only extremely disruptive things are dealt with behind the scenes and tend to be very un-Scoutlike in how they are handled.

[Krampus]

We do adult training. It helps and is pretty effective.

[Krampus]

@@KenD500 we do a few training sessions with parents:

 

- we require YPT

- we request they take troop committee challenge

- we review the patrol method and how adults can help

- we review the other supplemental training on myscouting and request they take those to better understand event safety

- for those who are new parents we have a new parent training that reviews rank advancements, trail to first class, etc.

 

This has helped ground parents in the processes and procedures their scout will experience.

[John-in-KC]

Basically, you train them up as full members of the troop committee.  Good.

[Krampus]

Basically, you train them up as full members of the troop committee.  Good.

 

Yes, or just short of full training for ASMs (minus leader-specific and IOLS). We never want to be in a position of having to cancel an event because we don't have trained adults around. This also includes making sure all ASMs have WRFA, basic first aid, CPR/AED, etc. We also make sure we have at least 20-30 boys trained in these same areas. Let's face it, the old goats are the ones most likely to need aid.

[KenD500]

We do the standard Scout Parent training for ours.

 

The Parent Training I was talking about is "how to be a parent". 

[Krampus]

We do the standard Scout Parent training for ours.

 

The Parent Training I was talking about is "how to be a parent". 

 

ROFL....do they teach that?

 

We had a parent help her son buy food for a camp out. He showed up with Friday dinner: Microwave hamburgers in plastic pouches. I kid you not. The kid knew better; the parent insisted what she bought was more "practical" for the camp out.

 

Not sure you can fix that amount of stupid. 

[qwazse]

We do the standard Scout Parent training for ours.

 

The Parent Training I was talking about is "how to be a parent". 

I kinda understood what your saying, and my main observation is: the SM is usually not that guy.

Even if he knew a thing or two, parents rarely see him as someone whose correction they'd heed.

 

Usually, when moms or dads come to me with above my pay-grade issues, I will ask, "Is there someone who you (and the other party, if any) will listen to if they told you what you need to do differently?"

 

If someone is willing to sit with me by the fire after the kids are in bed, they might get a little of what slice of wisdom I may have. There might be some water in this old rock, but it would take some time squeezing to get at it.

[Eagledad]

I use to say at training that 50% of a SMs job is working with the adults. Not a big deal to a boy run SM in a troop where the scouts camp 100 yards away. But, I really believe it's even more than 50%.

 

Also, a lot of working with parents is understanding where they are coming from and not trying to change them. For example, I learned that most home sickness was a result of the parents struggling with their young sons leaving the home for a few days. We parents have to learn how to give independence just like a scout how to learn to use it. So instead of parents telling their son that they can't wait to see them of the camp or that they will miss them, we instructed them instead to express how they envy the adventure their sons are going on. Ask their sons to write down the highlights of the trip so they can tell them all about it when they get back. 

 

We get frustrated that parents don't see the picture our way and expect them to change instantly, but helping our sons grow into independed confident decision makers takes time. Show them how and don't be so frustrated if they don't get it all at once, 50% of your time is with them, so there is no hurry.

 

Barry

[skeptic]

Wonder if that is really even possible??

[blw2]

while the site was down, I read a few scouting books.  one of them addressed some of this issue

"So Far So Good: A New Scoutmaster's Story, by Clarke Green"

I thought it was a good read, and probably should be required reading before Scoutmaster Specific.  An easy quick read & I'll bet even very experienced Scouters would get a thing or two from it, even if they wouldn't want to admit it.

 

Anyway, he sets up a few parent type situations and how a scouter might deal with them.

[blw2]

I should add, I think it would be a good read even for parents that aren't scouters too.  Might help them understand how it's supposed to work.

[Krampus]

while the site was down, I read a few scouting books.  one of them addressed some of this issue

"So Far So Good: A New Scoutmaster's Story, by Clarke Green"

I thought it was a good read, and probably should be required reading before Scoutmaster Specific.  An easy quick read & I'll bet even very experienced Scouters would get a thing or two from it, even if they wouldn't want to admit it.

 

Anyway, he sets up a few parent type situations and how a scouter might deal with them.

 

One would think WB would have a module on parent mgmt and conflict resolution.