Adventures in Boy Led

[Eagledad]

I actually have a story from a few months ago. The SPL and ASPL were discussing something for the weekend camping trip. They come up to me, and ask their question. (I forget what it was.). I reply. "I dunno, what do you two think?". The ASPL turns to the SPL and says. "I told you that's what he'd say!!!" Good times...Good times. 

 

I remember a couple times the scout asked the question and followed with "I already know the answer, I don't know why I even asked". Sorry!". 

 

BUT, sometimes the scouts will approach you as a member of their team seeking a mature discussion. If you are changing the troop culture to where everyone is respected equally as adults, eventually over the years the scouts will expect a natural equal respect from the adults. Isn't that really our goal? There will come that time when the troop maturity has reached a level where the scouts do deal with most of their situations, but sometimes something comes up that requires additional input and the scouts expect a mature dialogue with the adults. This happens a lot dealing with difficult behavior, but it can be anything when the scouts are responsible for the most of the troop higher responsibilities. I knew when our very mature 17 year old SPL approached me with a dilemma, there was not going to be an easy obvious answer. I'm saying be careful not to be too reactionary with your responses because they can come off as condescending.

 

Barry

Edited September 30, 2015 by Eagledad

[Stosh]

You are right, there are times when an SPL, a PL or even a general scout that is in need of a backboard to bounce ideas off without a big to-do. "Mr. S. what do you think about me asking, doing, suggesting, etc. (a certain idea)"  He is not seeking a decision, he's seeking some advice for his decision.  He might have already discussed it with his PL/SPL but was a bit unsure about addressing it to the whole patrol.  Offering up advice in stead of decisions is not the same issue as asking questions on leadership directives and the adults have to be able to distinguish between the two.

 

I really don't expect a scout who's having trouble at home to turn to his PL for assistance in the situation.  Or if the PL is the source of the scout's concern....   Or he did ask the PL and got blown off.  As an adult in the program, it's always good to listen first then talk.  

[gumbymaster]

,,,, said the Captain of the Titanic.

 

His problem was he tried to turn the ship and reverse it at the same time.

[Sentinel947]

@@Eagledad and @@Stosh

 

Obviously I do listen to their questions. There are two extremes we should be wary of. Webelos 3 style adult leaders are just as counterproductive as the no support sink or swim style.

 

I've been at this game for a few years. I've gotten some practice in when they need my help vs them needing to figure it out themselves.

[Stosh]

@@Eagledad and @@Stosh

 

Obviously I do listen to their questions. There are two extremes we should be wary of. Webelos 3 style adult leaders are just as counterproductive as the no support sink or swim style.

 

I've been at this game for a few years. I've gotten some practice in when they need my help vs them needing to figure it out themselves.

 

not everyone has as much boy-led experience and what you, Barry and I are all suggesting is oriented more for those who will be making an attempt to be more more and more boy-led.  Using a lot of catchy come-backs isn't necessarily a good suggestion for the leaders just starting the process.  We were just putting a bit of a disclaimer on such pat answers.

[Sentinel947]

not everyone has as much boy-led experience and what you, Barry and I are all suggesting is oriented more for those who will be making an attempt to be more more and more boy-led.  Using a lot of catchy come-backs isn't necessarily a good suggestion for the leaders just starting the process.  We were just putting a bit of a disclaimer on such pat answers.

Agreed, I didn't think to consider that. 

[Eagledad]

Boy, go away from the computer for a while and the discussion takes a left turn. I didn't see any examples of condescending examples in this discussion that I was referring to and I apologize if my tone came off that way. We old timers who have seen a lot tend to add caveats to save others the humilities of our past experiences. 

 

Barry

[MattR]

@@Eagledad, I think the condescending remarks being referenced are along the lines of "Do I look like your patrol leader?" when a scout comes up to talk to you. It's not something here that anyone said, it's how we work with the scout that has an honest question.

[Eagle94-A1]

Part of how you respond and replys comes about your relationship and experineces with your Scouts. I will call them ''hoodlums'' at times becuase of a movie reference. One family joke that I modified for my oldest when Scouting, has now been applied to all of the Scouts in his patrol and a few others. And they modified it to use on the Adults in on it. However, I woould not use the ''go away you horrible Scout'' on a new Scout who would think I'm serious.

 

What's funny is that on one camp out, the patrol had a pool on when I would say it.:-)