Would You Quit?

[heat4212]

Last year either I or my husband found ourselves filling all of the following positions: secretary, treasurer, Tiger leader, Wolf leader, Webelos I leader, only BALOO trained leader, advancement tracker, pack trainer, popcorn kernel & all around go to people and event planners. 

 

We got ourselves in this position because we have 3 boys in 3 different dens. Whenever one of the other leaders either moved, quit, or crashed and burned it seemed better (at the time) to step-in and "help" rather than have our boys miss out. To get ourselves out of this position we have spent countless hours planning, recruiting, wooing new parents, researching and implementing technology to make our work easier (yay Scoutbook and Google docs!), all on top of preparing the whole pack for the new program roll-out.

 

Now we are exhausted and want to step back but still can't find enough people willing to volunteer. We would be happy with just one job each, but new parents run for the hills when they find out we have so many empty positions/needs. I feel we are at the brink of folding.

 

Please tell me that it can get better fast?! 

[Cambridgeskip]

Last year either I or my husband found ourselves filling all of the following positions: secretary, treasurer, Tiger leader, Wolf leader, Webelos I leader, only BALOO trained leader, advancement tracker, pack trainer, popcorn kernel & all around go to people and event planners. 

 

We got ourselves in this position because we have 3 boys in 3 different dens. Whenever one of the other leaders either moved, quit, or crashed and burned it seemed better (at the time) to step-in and "help" rather than have our boys miss out. To get ourselves out of this position we have spent countless hours planning, recruiting, wooing new parents, researching and implementing technology to make our work easier (yay Scoutbook and Google docs!), all on top of preparing the whole pack for the new program roll-out.

 

Now we are exhausted and want to step back but still can't find enough people willing to volunteer. We would be happy with just one job each, but new parents run for the hills when they find out we have so many empty positions/needs. I feel we are at the brink of folding.

 

Please tell me that it can get better fast?! 

 

Sometimes to fix something you have to let it break properly.

 

You don't have to resign from everything but if you keep doing everything no one else will ever step in.

 

Decide what you can do and stay sane, then resign from everything else. Stand back and see what happens. Initially everything will fall over but eventually others will step forward. And if they don't and things stay fallen over remember that you have saved your own health and sanity.

[packsaddle]

Could you share some more details? How many boys (families) are in the pack? Are you urban, rural, suburban? Is your CO a church? LDS? How long has the pack existed? How did you have those leaders before they left, where did they come from?

 

I agree with Skip, you have to do what's best for your family first. You for sure will burn out if you try to keep up this level of intense involvement.

[Gone]

@@heat4212 we've discussed in this forum the issue of younger parent (under 35) involvement sorely lacking these days. I would contact your District Executive and ask for help. They might be able to get you some short term assistance. Have an all parents meeting where you discuss the open roles, what they entail and how they can be managed. Let the parents knows the pack WILL fold if people do not step up. Have the DE at that meeting so he can help get the message across.

 

Sadly, a pack in my cousin's district went through this. Despite YEARS of planning and notification to the parents about the need to step up, parents were simply too selfish and lazy to take a role. the pack eventually merged with another rather than folding. That may be your last option.

[qwazse]

Yes. Step back into the one job each of you do the best, and let the chips fall where they may.

 

There is a trade-off. You will have to gush over any parent who steps into the gap. If they need to do things differently for whatever reasons, support them. (I have not been beneath offering flowers and chocolates every month.)

[SSScout]

What they said. 

We had a Pack of 12 Cubs at the time, a "Hands Off"  CO, and at  the last recruitment we had 14(!) Tiger Cub wannabes show up with their parents. After showing them all the neat stuff, leading the boys thru a Den meeting,  not one parent signed up.  Not one. "Too much time".  "He has better things to do."  "I was never a Scout, I wouldn't know what to do".  "Yes, I see he's having fun, and the material is good, but he can get the same in school and soccer/Karate/ChurchGroup/my uncle takes us camping"  etc. etc.  

My wife and I were Den Leaders, Cub Master, Committee Chair, saw our boy blossom and grow in Scouting. The other remaining families felt the same. But when it came time for us to  "cross over", no one would step up, The CO was not interested, they sign the paper, have a good day.  The DE was trying with suggestions and such but he was not "HERE".   I sent out a letter three months before the end of the year announcing our imminent departure.  Again at two months.  We had a final fling, spent the Pack treasury on a nice picnic and some award sweaters for all the remaining parent leaders, and told the CO we would not be rechartering that year. Their response:  "okay".   The remaining families (6) transferred to other local Packs and we nodded and smiled as we saw them again at camporees and Eagle CoHs .

 

Life goes on.  Pack 775 did not.  

[Hedgehog]

In scouting, asking everyone is asking nobody.  I remember at a Readyman training, one of the trainers told the boys not to say "someone call 911" but  to designate a specific person -- "you in the blue shirt, call 911."  Find a specific person and ask them to handle a specific role.  

 

Don't make the role see like it is HUGE, but explain what is entailed.  For Treasurer, "you just have to cut the checks for events and make the deposits of the annual dues and popcorn money."  That seems a lot easier than, "you have to be responsible for all the money."  Popcorn Chair is just passing out the order forms, coordinating the show and sell (or recruiting one parent to do just that), aggregating the orders and placing the order.  Find someone else to coordinate the pick up and distribution.  One parent can pick up the awards at the Scout Shop.  Everyone can do something so that someone doesn't have to do everything.

 

In our pack, the model for running Dens is that EACH parent ran a den meeting.  The Den leaders sat down at the beginning of the year with thei parents for their den, a handbook and a calendar.  Every parent knows or can learn one thing.  The Den leader did the opening and closing and coordinated the parents.  Nobody has time to run a year's worth of programing but anyone can run a single meeting.  Ask one person in each Den to coordinate the parents and to run the beginning flag ceremony -- that is a Den leader.  Don't buy into any excuses -- you do not need to have been a scout to be a Den Leader or even Cubmaster -- you just have to like providing an opportunity for the boys to have fun.  If you ask someone to fulfill a certain role and they have an excuse, just start explaining the ohter roles that are out there.

 

For Pack meeting, have a parent take the lead for each meeting.  Is there a parent who is involved with a charity who wants to coordinate a meeting where the Cubs do a good turn?  Is there a parent that loves model rockets?  We had each Den responsible for the food at a meeting (Bears did fall campout, Webelos 1 did Pancake Breakfast, Wolves organized the Pinewood Derby snack bar, Webelos 2 did Blue and Gold and Tigers did end of year campout.  

 

Many hands make light work.

[heat4212]

Could you share some more details? How many boys (families) are in the pack? Are you urban, rural, suburban? Is your CO a church? LDS? How long has the pack existed? How did you have those leaders before they left, where did they come from?

 

We have 15 scouts and 12 families. We are suburban in a middle-lower income, high ESL (English as a Second Language) school district. Our CO is a church (not LDS). I've been told that our Pack is the oldest one in our town (over 50 years). I don't know much about previous leaders -- most are now involved in the BS Troop down the road. Scouts have not been allowed to recruit in our school district since the year before we joined and numbers have fallen drastically ever since. On a positive note, our council recently received permission to have a "school night for scouting" at every school in the district this fall! We are planning for that now and although it's been a huge, undertaking, I am hoping new parents will mean more help. (Any tips for getting brand new parents to volunteer right away would be appreciated!)

 

All the current families but one (a single-mom) technically have volunteer positions because we had our come-to-Jesus meeting after Christmas break. This has been a mixed blessing. My husband and I no longer have to the shopping and running around but they don't do anything that requires extra meetings, planning, or record-keeping (ex. Outdoor chair will bring the equipment needed for events but keeps forgetting to get needed permissions & schedule BALOO training; Awards chair shops for badges but doesn't keep any records). When problems arise my DH and I scramble to put out the fires (I have had to revise the budget to stay afloat because we were hammered with a big fee for waaaaay overbooking an over-nighter, dig through old receipts to settle a dispute over whether a badge was bought or not; and fudge minutes for the bank because the secretary could never get around to typing them up and posting them).

 

Our Scoutbook migration is set for Sept and if all goes well that should relieve us of much of our training and record keeping woes. So along with that and the big recruitment push, I do have some hope for the future!

 

 If only we got paid!  

 

Yes. Step back into the one job each of you do the best, and let the chips fall where they may.

 

There is a trade-off. You will have to gush over any parent who steps into the gap. If they need to do things differently for whatever reasons, support them. (I have not been beneath offering flowers and chocolates every month.)

 

LOL! So true! I try so hard to acknowledge every little thing the newer parents do! (Although admittedly my first thought is to send them snarky links to lmgtfy.com [let me Google that for you] every time they ask an obvious question). My biggest pet peeve is when people e-mail me to ask me date/times of Pack events. Let me Scoutlander that for you! 

[heat4212]

What they said. 

We had a Pack of 12 Cubs at the time, a "Hands Off"  CO, and at  the last recruitment we had 14(!) Tiger Cub wannabes show up with their parents. After showing them all the neat stuff, leading the boys thru a Den meeting,  not one parent signed up.  Not one. "Too much time".  "He has better things to do."  "I was never a Scout, I wouldn't know what to do".  "Yes, I see he's having fun, and the material is good, but he can get the same in school and soccer/Karate/ChurchGroup/my uncle takes us camping"  etc. etc.  

My wife and I were Den Leaders, Cub Master, Committee Chair, saw our boy blossom and grow in Scouting. The other remaining families felt the same. But when it came time for us to  "cross over", no one would step up, The CO was not interested, they sign the paper, have a good day.  The DE was trying with suggestions and such but he was not "HERE".   I sent out a letter three months before the end of the year announcing our imminent departure.  Again at two months.  We had a final fling, spent the Pack treasury on a nice picnic and some award sweaters for all the remaining parent leaders, and told the CO we would not be rechartering that year. Their response:  "okay".   The remaining families (6) transferred to other local Packs and we nodded and smiled as we saw them again at camporees and Eagle CoHs .

 

Life goes on.  Pack 775 did not.  

 

 I relate to everything you just said and I think our CO would react exactly the same way! Not a single member of the church is even part of the pack right now. You are right... Life will go on without us and without the Pack if it comes to that. I just take it so personally because I am so invested. Thanks for your feedback!

[heat4212]

In scouting, asking everyone is asking nobody.  I remember at a Readyman training, one of the trainers told the boys not to say "someone call 911" but  to designate a specific person -- "you in the blue shirt, call 911."  Find a specific person and ask them to handle a specific role.  

 

Don't make the role see like it is HUGE, but explain what is entailed.  For Treasurer, "you just have to cut the checks for events and make the deposits of the annual dues and popcorn money."  That seems a lot easier than, "you have to be responsible for all the money."  Popcorn Chair is just passing out the order forms, coordinating the show and sell (or recruiting one parent to do just that), aggregating the orders and placing the order.  Find someone else to coordinate the pick up and distribution.  One parent can pick up the awards at the Scout Shop.  Everyone can do something so that someone doesn't have to do everything.

 

In our pack, the model for running Dens is that EACH parent ran a den meeting.  The Den leaders sat down at the beginning of the year with thei parents for their den, a handbook and a calendar.  Every parent knows or can learn one thing.  The Den leader did the opening and closing and coordinated the parents.  Nobody has time to run a year's worth of programing but anyone can run a single meeting.  Ask one person in each Den to coordinate the parents and to run the beginning flag ceremony -- that is a Den leader.  Don't buy into any excuses -- you do not need to have been a scout to be a Den Leader or even Cubmaster -- you just have to like providing an opportunity for the boys to have fun.  If you ask someone to fulfill a certain role and they have an excuse, just start explaining the ohter roles that are out there.

 

For Pack meeting, have a parent take the lead for each meeting.  Is there a parent who is involved with a charity who wants to coordinate a meeting where the Cubs do a good turn?  Is there a parent that loves model rockets?  We had each Den responsible for the food at a meeting (Bears did fall campout, Webelos 1 did Pancake Breakfast, Wolves organized the Pinewood Derby snack bar, Webelos 2 did Blue and Gold and Tigers did end of year campout.  

 

Many hands make light work.

 

I agree completely and those are all good ideas. Hopefully we will get enough parents in Sept. to make this possible. (Right now our Web I den has only 1 scout and our Bear den has only 2).

 

Although I think making the jobs sound easier than they are is what got us in this position of constantly having to put out fires. I have started taking the approach instead that "for now, all we need you to do is x & y. We'll get you up to speed on anything else later."

 

I appreciate your advice!

[Cambridgeskip]

We have 15 scouts and 12 families. We are suburban in a middle-lower income, high ESL (English as a Second Language) school district. Our CO is a church (not LDS). I've been told that our Pack is the oldest one in our town (over 50 years). I don't know much about previous leaders -- most are now involved in the BS Troop down the road. Scouts have not been allowed to recruit in our school district since the year before we joined and numbers have fallen drastically ever since. 

 

Do you have a website? If not then add to the list of people you want a webmaster and get a website set up. It doesn't have to be all singing and all dancing. It just has to be a presence that says who you are, where you are, when you are and what you do. And has photos of the fun stuff. It will help your recruitment no end.

[heat4212]

Do you have a website? If not then add to the list of people you want a webmaster and get a website set up. It doesn't have to be all singing and all dancing. It just has to be a presence that says who you are, where you are, when you are and what you do. And has photos of the fun stuff. It will help your recruitment no end.

 

We do but we could do better. We have FB and Google+ community pages, and a public About page on Scoutlander. We could use more pictures though... they do a better job showing what we are all about. We had a problem with one parent not wanting any pics of her kids posted online (and they were super involved so happened to be in most pics). They are gone though, so I should be able to do better now. 

[Scouter99]

Sometimes to fix something you have to let it break properly.

 

You don't have to resign from everything but if you keep doing everything no one else will ever step in.

This

[fred johnson]

Gear the program down to the number of people helping.  Less help means smaller program.  Look for great events and activities that are simple and automatic.  As others step up to help, then you can gear the program up again.

[blw2]

I found myself in almost the exact same situation.

 

I agree, keep doing the one job you want to, and let the other fall.

 

Make it clear to everyone that you aren't quitting, but that it's time other pick up some of the pieces.

And assuming you are, let it be clear that you are willing to help them get started..... or that you are willing to get out of the way.

 

The way I figured it, if I couldn't do it.... and nobody else stepped up, then it just didn't get done.... and for the most part it wasn't missed.

 

Couple things I wish that I would have done

was push harder for the inactive CC to get the completely hands off CO rep in the loop on the situation....

and contacted the district folks to work with the CC & CO earlier

 

and the other thing I would do if I had it to do over again

set the expectation early and clear to the entire pack, that every family is expected to do something.