mashmaster Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I love working with the boys, they have such a great time and I love seeing their smiles. But when the parent drama kicks in, I wonder why I do all this. For instance a boy falls his swim test because of his abilities, the parent starts saying he will not be going to camp is just petty and the only one it hurts is the boy. He could be enrolled in swimming lessons to potentially save his life but no he is now being punished because he can't swim. What a great lesson to teach him. Sigh, we should be able to drink in the program..... Sorry just needed to rant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cambridgeskip Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Sadly we've all been there. I wonder what parents think we do when scouts finishes at 9pm. Personally I loaded a some tents into another leader's car, cycled home, emailed one parent to tell them "your son will bring a permission form to camp tomorrow or else", updated the scout accounts having paid a load of expenses to other leaders tonight. Not the hardest graft but it doesn't stop when we lock the door at 9pm. Some days you just want to scream at them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSScout Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Cambridgeskip: Feel sorry for them. YOU are having fun with THEIR son. They could be there, but, for whatever reason, they are not. Scene: Nature pavilion at CSDC. It is "Leave No Trace Day". I get to hand out a bright orange card to each boy, and tell'em stories about fire prevention , lead them in discussing (and they DO!!) how to pee in the woods (ooo, that's gross), is it right to leave YOUR trash for someone else to pick up? (NOOOOO!) , leaving flowers for others to see, respecting others' time in the woods, when you go camping as a Boy Scout will your mom be there to pick up after you? (NOOOOO!), all right then. I want you to get up with your buddy, and walk 50 paces out THAT WAY and turn left and walk 10 paces THAT WAY, and turn left and walk back 50 paces and PICK UP ANYTHING ON THE GROUND THAT GOD DIDN"T PUT THERE! Ready, set GO! And while the Cubs are doing their thing for that 6 or 7 minutes (and despite how clean the park looked, they picked up a fair amount of trash in 6 hours of this!), I over hear one mom/Denwalker on her phone: " I can't believe I agreed to DO this. Someone else could've... yeah, that's right, Cub Scouts... I will have SOOO much work next Monday to make up. Oh, of course, hot, dirty. I guess he's having fun, but he could've had fun at home with his PlayStation, couldn't he? I mean..." ...and she went on like that for the next 10 minutes in the background, walking around.... *sigh* Edited July 9, 2015 by SSScout Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stosh Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 My personal favorite is when they punish the boy by not let them attend scouting events. You don't go to scouts unless your homework is finished. You are grounded, no scouts, etc. What they think they are doing is taking away fun activities from the boys when in fact they are denying them the program that has a chance to improve their behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle94-A1 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 My personal favorite is when they punish the boy by not let them attend scouting events. You don't go to scouts unless your homework is finished. You are grounded, no scouts, etc. What they think they are doing is taking away fun activities from the boys when in fact they are denying them the program that has a chance to improve their behavior. Unfortunately I know of one Scout who was having major family issues due to divorce. When his grades slipped, mom grounded him, including no Scouts. He attempted suicide because for him, his SM was the only adult that cared about him and what was going on. For him Scouting was the positive, safe environment. Once he recuperated and got help, he returned to the troop until mom and siblings moved. I hope he found another good troop wherever he went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdidochas Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I love working with the boys, they have such a great time and I love seeing their smiles. But when the parent drama kicks in, I wonder why I do all this. For instance a boy falls his swim test because of his abilities, the parent starts saying he will not be going to camp is just petty and the only one it hurts is the boy. He could be enrolled in swimming lessons to potentially save his life but no he is now being punished because he can't swim. What a great lesson to teach him. Sigh, we should be able to drink in the program..... Sorry just needed to rant. That's amazing to blame the kid for their own shortcomings. If my boys were scout age and couldn't swim, that's my fault, not the boys' fault. That said, we do have a few kids that can swim, but refuse to swim in "natural" water. I can see one of their parents getting frustrated with their kids about that. However, I still blame that on the parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdidochas Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 My personal favorite is when they punish the boy by not let them attend scouting events. You don't go to scouts unless your homework is finished. You are grounded, no scouts, etc. What they think they are doing is taking away fun activities from the boys when in fact they are denying them the program that has a chance to improve their behavior. Every parent has to develop carrots and sticks. When the boys were in Cub Scouts, I did the above exactly once with each boy. In my case, it was worse, since I went to Cub Scouts (as a den leader) while they stayed at home working on homework. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattman578 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I love it when the parents do the kids projects for them and I look over and there is the scout board to death while his father is building the rocket or making the catapult. this year with is my ADL is there I am going to kick the parents out !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashmaster Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Got a text from the parent, they said I was singling out their son because he was the only one not to pass the test. I explained how I didn't perform the test it was the lifeguard, but clearly it is my fault. I saw him swim and I wouldn't have passed him either. It is a safety thing not a "Do your best thing". They will have a rude awakening when he gets to Boy Scouts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwazse Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Oh my heavens! Day (maybe week) 1 of kindergarten, daughter comes home mad because 1. She can't read. 2. The bus driver told her to keep her feet off the seat in front of her. I said ... 1. Well, you'll just have to watch your teacher more closely and figure out how she does it. 2. Well, when you see the bus driver tomorrow, apologize, then thank him for me. Let him know I'd like him to yell at you more loudly the next time you misbehave. We had to ask Son #2's teachers to *tell us* when he's underperforming. (As in, he's not turning in homerwork, etc ...) We don't mind! You deserve kids who do their best. If not, they deserve to bring a note home from the teacher -- via E-mail to us CC'd to him is just fine. Come home with a 'B'? "Sorry you flunked. Do you know where you failed? Okay! Better luck next time." Evidently lots of parents didn't have our attitude. They think Little Johnny or Jane can do no evil. I'm sorry, if they had no shortcomings, I wouldn't pay taxes to get them and their friends educated. I certainly wouldn't bother asking volunteers like @@mashmaster to help me cover things I might have missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle77 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I love working with the boys, they have such a great time and I love seeing their smiles. But when the parent drama kicks in, I wonder why I do all this. For instance a boy falls his swim test because of his abilities, the parent starts saying he will not be going to camp is just petty and the only one it hurts is the boy. He could be enrolled in swimming lessons to potentially save his life but no he is now being punished because he can't swim. What a great lesson to teach him. Sigh, we should be able to drink in the program..... Sorry just needed to rant. Here is my reply. I have a 4 foot pool, why don't you and your family come over Saturday and we'll work on getting your son comfortable with the water, have a little cook out and just enjoy ourselves. Or my son and another scout will work with your son at improving his water skills. Parent was not helping, maybe they couldn't, but sure as anything neither were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldscout448 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 A bit harsh there Eagle77? Not everyone has a 4' pool or easy access to one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle77 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 A bit harsh there Eagle77? Not everyone has a 4' pool or easy access to one Neither do I, now. The point was to offer to help not whether I had a pool or not. Change to the community pool, Y, or school pool. That's what you got out of what I said? I have met many boys in my time as a leader who have never been introduced or even given the chance to learn how to swim. Instead ofr blaming parents maybe it would be helpful to offer to help. The offer could also be done right there at camp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeattlePioneer Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 My favorite was the Troop Committee Chair who had the SM refuse to approve his advancement to Life Scout. The parent apparently forged the SM signature and got his son the Life Scout award anyway. The SM wasn't too sharp and didn't challenge that action. When I got involved with the Troop, I asked the CC why no Committee Meetings were ever scheduled ---he said no one would attend. Actually, it gave him license to do whatever he pleased. When I was involved in the troop as AS, this parent decided to resign as Committee Chair in a snit. That was an opportunity and I found another parent to be Committee Chair who did an excellent job. We had regular Committee meeting which were well attended. When the boy came up for Eagle, he was again not approved for advancement by the same SM. (Personally, I thought this boy was a modestly competent 2nd class Scout in terms of his skills and abilities). The parent took his son out of the troop and they joined a troop of boys with Asperger's Syndrome. That was probably a good decision. It was kind of amusing, since the parent was a hot shot journalist. He thought he was hot stuff and condescended to the SM who was an auto mechanic who had a lot of heart but wasn't much of a leader. He did his best, which wasn't really good enough. I helped him get a better program going and helped get the Troop leadership going as well. The parent in question never BSd me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashmaster Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Neither do I, now. The point was to offer to help not whether I had a pool or not. Change to the community pool, Y, or school pool. That's what you got out of what I said? I have met many boys in my time as a leader who have never been introduced or even given the chance to learn how to swim. Instead ofr blaming parents maybe it would be helpful to offer to help. The offer could also be done right there at camp. First off, I am not a swim instructor. He needs professional swimming help not mine or my sons help. Swimming is a life skill, he is very far away from being able to pass the test. Secondly, mom has known he needs help swimming she has told us he needs lessons but she has decided not to send him. He does manage to go to a bunch of expensive camps already, so that is where the priorities are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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