Scout W/autism - Troop Asms Having Difficulty - Possible New Troop's Sm Called By Asms - Thoughts?

[andysmom]

@@andysmom

 

The SM and CC are just not reacting to this much at all. I'm not sure why. We are trying to connect with them today in fact. The DE and DC have recommended the two other troops in the area that might be options and we are pursuing them at this time.  

 

It's so frustrating.  If this troop would have some vision for kids like these, especially in terms of organizational scenarios (our meetings are very haphazard as are our activities), it would be so much better for everyone involved.  

 

It is important for us to remember however that troop meetings are run by the scouts, and scouts aren't always as organized about how they do things as adults would be.  The scouts are learning, and that is what makes the scouting program so much different than other youth organizations.  I don't know how old your son is, but it will be good for him too.  We have been in the troop for 3 years now and in the beginning of every year the meetings are chaotic messes, but they get better and the boys, mine included, see what works and what doesn't.  He trusts his fellow scouts and they accept him for who he is.  It will be difficult at first, but your son will benefit in the long run.

 

We, as parents of non nt kids are acutely aware of the needs of our kids but in all reality most people are not.  My own parents don't always agree with how I parent my son.  They don't understand that he won't respond the way other kids do when "typical" discipline methods are used.  Unfortunately most scout leaders don't know what "our" kids need and to be honest, each of "our" kids have different needs.  Most leaders do the best they can and really want to help ALL scouts succeed.

 

I am glad you are getting some recommendations of other troops.  You might want to visit those as they may be more open to dealing with scouts who have different needs.  Be careful with looking at troops that are too organized though, that is usually an indicator of a troop that isn't run by the boys. 

Edited June 1, 2015 by andysmom

[imachristian13]

@@andysmom

 

We are PAINFULLY clear on the Boy-led aspect of this troop. There is a line between Boy-led and UN-led. Further, when my son has suggested organizational needs on his own, he has been "outvoted" by his troopmates. For example, if another boy is in charge of purchasing food for a camp out there is no planning and frequently not enough to eat for everyone. If it's my son's turn, he makes menus and shops so that they'll all eat like kings for the same amount of money as the other scenario. Despite the fact that everyone oohs and ahhs over the better result, they don't want to even consider it when it's their turn.  Another favorite is the pickup times for away trips (those that I don't attend obviously). "We will arrive at the parking lot by 11 a.m."  Then we get an angry phone call at 9:30 a.m. because they decided to come home early (how were we supposed to know) OR they don't arrive until 2 or 3 p.m. and nobody will answer the phone to confirm life. All of this is done in the name of "Boy-led".  

 

Like I said, there's a line.  

 

[pargolf44067]

Hopefully, the situation for the OP works out better than the one here:

 

http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/schaumburg-hoffman-estates/news/ct-autism-boy-scouts-lawsuit-met-20150601-story.html

[Stosh]

Obviously there are other areas where BSA's level of stupidity attains great heights than just squirt guns.

[Gone]

Hopefully, the situation for the OP works out better than the one here:

 

http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/schaumburg-hoffman-estates/news/ct-autism-boy-scouts-lawsuit-met-20150601-story.html

So BSA does this out of the blue? No dialog?

 

Imagine how that kid feels. How "feeling" of BSA. Where's the tolerance here, Mr. Gates?

[fred johnson]

The key comments I see are that if your son has a special need, it is often best to be actively involved in the troop so you can be his safety net.  Scouting is very supportive of scouts with special needs, but you don't always have the right set of volunteers to help special needs.  As such, stepping up can greatly improve things.

 

What the ASM couple did was tacky.  I didn't violated any rule other than courtesy and kindness.  In their mind, they may have been acting ... in their view ... out of due precaution ... and ignoring the spitefulness of it.  

 

Informational privacy and need to know ... HIPPA doesn't apply here.  Even if HIPPA did apply, it's moot.  They are BSA registered just like the potential new troop leaders.  The health form is a BSA health form, etc, it's not leaving organizational boundaries.  Same as summer camp where troops don't require special signed permission to show the BSA health forms to the BSA summer camp.  It's really the need-to-know and even then that's a fuzzy line.  Need-to-know can be debated on each side.  Move past it. You can't win there.  

 

Where you can win is BSA is good with people that have special needs.  If the troop accepts your son as a scout in the troop, then they need to work with him and be supportive.  A few right placed words / requests can go far.  

 

--------------------

 

Most importantly ... Get involved in your son's scouting career and show support for all the scouts in the troop.

[BDPT00]

As suggested a few weeks back, there's a video available on line that might help both troops to understand these kids, and how to be an effective leader. Check it out: http://training.northernstarbsa.org/info/UnitTrainingResources.aspx

[ScouterRob]

Some scout troops are creating behavior contracts that parents must sign for their children to join. 

 

The contracts lists the proper behaviors that scout must provide and it lists the consequences. 

 

If the parent realizes that their child can not handle the proper behavior then they might realize that scouting is not for their child.

 

Each autistic child is wired differently. Some children does not want to be in scouts because of the self control it teaches(scout oath and law).

 

My aspergers son has completed COPE because he followed the contract and plan he was given.  Without the contact, he would have never completed COPE, he would hidden in his tent all week long.

 

The only training I gave to the COPE Staff that he is autistic and he just need a plan. 

Edited July 21, 2015 by ScouterRob

[HICO_Eagle]

Some scout troops are creating behavior contracts that parents must sign for their children to join. 

 

The contracts lists the proper behaviors that scout must provide and it lists the consequences. 

 

If the parent realizes that their child can not handle the proper behavior then they might realize that that unit is not for their child.

 

Each autistic child is wired differently. Some children does not want to be in scouts because of the self control it teaches(scout oath and law).

 

My aspergers son has completed COPE because he followed the contract and plan he was given.  Without the contact, he would have never completed COPE, he would hidden in his tent all week long.

 

The only training I gave to the COPE Staff that he is autistic and he just need a plan. 

 

FIFY.  Every unit is wired differently too.

[Gone]

FIFY.  Every unit is wired differently too.

Great point. The story below had a great ending. Where would that kid be today without scouting and a caring scouter? @@SSScout cared and the result was great. Had he not stepped in, would,that scout have come back? We may never know.

 

http://scouter.com/index.php/topic/27367-scouting-would-be-so-much-better-without-the-parents/?p=420963