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SM being subverted by CC


kjmillig

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WARNING: RANT AHEAD

So our troop has a fairly strong willed, although not boisterous or pushy, Committee Chair. She's a Scout parent of our oldest Scout, until recently was an ASM, and has just taken over as CC. Problem is that she thinks she has all the answers and over-guides the troop's Scout leaders who quietly obey since she's the "Mom" and is the main organizer of our small, very new troop that started as an unofficial patrol of Lone Scouts loosely attached to a large troop in another city. I was participating only through emails that first Lone Scout year due to health issues and as we neared time to charter our own troop I was asked to be SM. I agreed, but since then seem to be mostly there just so they can have 2 deep leadership and to have SM Conferences. Most of my suggestions for doing some back-to-basics camping to strengthen Scouting skills is met with polite but firm disinterest by the CC who proceeds to encourage the boys to always camp at well lit organized campsites with electricity, running water, and showers. Again, the obedient children follow the "Troop Mom", and the "Mom Committee".

Yes, I know I should put my foot down, but since I'm at a disadvantage with language barriers (we're not in the USA) I'm often at the mercy of the committee and the CC.

​I've considered washing my hands of it and stepping down as SM, but the Scouts really need some guidance to learn how to truly run their troop, be creative on activity planning, and get out of the glamping mentality.

Suggestions, please, from those who might have had similar situations.

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Sounds like the typical CC who wants to run the show, but not do the work. She is also well entrenched so you're not going to ever win this one. Now one has to decide whether or not they can live under that assumption or not. It sounds as if one has an adult led troop going on right from the beginning. That's unfortunate because it takes years to move from adult-led to boy-led, but only a matter of minutes to move from boy-led to adult-led.

 

Personally, from my viewpoint, unless new boundaries are laid out and adhered to, I would just walk away. For years I provided leadership as an ASM and did more for the boys than when I was a SM and had a target on my back. I'm sure Ms. Mom CC can find a new SM with the power she wields.

 

Stosh

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It sounds like you're in a "when in Rome" mashed up with a "it's just a piece of paper" situation.

 

Kind of like when I was made crew advisor, it was an "on paper only" kind of thing (I even felt that of the adults we could choose from I was least qualified for it), and I pushed back saying "I hate paperwork too much to fill it out for nothing."

 

The best you can do in cases like these, is set the example.

 

Get to know the campground managers. They often know of places you could take the boys for an outpost camp. Encourage the group to respect Mom, but when your arrive at "glamground" you set your campsite on the fringe ... the darkest corner of the grounds or just throw your pack on a picnic table. Stop by in the morning, give them a map with a meeting point marked on it, and say "Rendesvous here at 9:45". Prepare dessert at your campsite. Or lash together a small gadget -- or even a large one. Stand up after dinner and say "Who wants to go on a night hike?" Over time, as you reveal to the boys "your kind of crazy", challenge them to plan something similar. If Mom is willing to keep up with you, always ask "Isn't this fun? See the smiles on their grubby little faces?" If she's not keeping up, well, you've just got the time you need to work the program with your youth. ;)

 

Fellowship with your committee. Learn the language. Get your head around the culture. Don't be afraid to try a conversation that you will eventually fail at.

 

This is "the long road", and you should only take it if your vision for this group of boys will sustain you. Eventually your committee will come around. Or you all will compromise.

 

Or, the CC can find a different SM whose vision matches hers, and you can take scouting elsewhere.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update:

To clarify a bit, I can speak the language pretty well but reading and writing are minimal. So when we're looking for campsites I'm limited on trying to find suitable camping spots online and such.

I sent an email to the committee and parents about allowing the boys to do some camping without parents and siblings, and the Scouts not inviting non-registered friends to go camping until they've been to Troop meeting and expressed interest in joining.

The CC still liked the idea of allowing a new kid to go camping. She thinks it's a good recruiting tool. This has already happened. We show up at the campsite and the CC's son brought a friend along that I'd never seen before. When I asked if he was planning on joining, she said, "No. He's too busy with school. But he's a friend who really likes camping." I was beside myself.

I tried explaining why we needed to go camping without parents and siblings always tagging along. She said the committee had decided some time ago to allow it, probably when I was out with the broken leg, and again thinks it's a great way to recruit new adults and have extra people around in case of emergencies.

Concerning getting away from established campgrounds, she sounded like she's afraid of it. She had excuse after excuse why we can't do it. "Near a beach, maybe the Coast Guard will not allow us to stay overnight, and we can't dig a hole for a latrine." "In the mountains we can't camp on private land or dig holes." "It's very difficult to find some land where the owner will let us camp." "Such-and-such a place is very hard to find a place to park cars." ...ad nauseam.

I'm trying to have patience, but it's growing thin. If I can't start to see a glimmer of change by the end of the year I may move on and let them continue to enjoy a Mom-run troop of family campers.

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I sent an email to the committee and parents about allowing the boys to do some camping without parents and siblings, and the Scouts not inviting non-registered friends to go camping until they've been to Troop meeting and expressed interest in joining.

 

I would suggest you talk to your District Executive about letting unregistered friends (youth or adults) attend Troop camp outs. Depending on your Council's insurance situation, he may not be covered. At an absolute minimum, I'm sure they will insist on your having parts a and b of a medical history on file; even if a parent is present, you want that release in hand.

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Update:

I tried explaining why we needed to go camping without parents and siblings always tagging along. She said the committee had decided some time ago to allow it, probably when I was out with the broken leg, and again thinks it's a great way to recruit new adults and have extra people around in case of emergencies.

So direct her to the Guide to Safe Scouting:

"If a well-meaning leader brings along a child who does not meet these age guidelines, disservice is done to the unit because of distractions often caused by younger children. A disservice is also done to the child, who is not trained to participate in such an activity and who, as a nonmember of the group, may be ignored by the older campers." http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/HealthandSafety/GSS/gss03.aspx

 

Family camping is not Scouting, it's the opposite of Scouting and works against our aim to produce young men who can do things for themselves. Make 1 or 2 campouts per year a family camping event to release the steam on that, make it clear the rest are troop camps.

 

The issue here is that you are in charge of program, but your CC is steering and she has no idea what Scouting is about. Assert your authority: Make a list of the issues, why they're wrong, and what the right way is and get the troop behind you. If they don't want real Scouting or they don't get behind you, then you stand up in front of them and tell them why you're resigning as SM and have a nice life.

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