Moving to a Patrol Method Troop.

[Stosh]

Hedgehog,

 

Not necessarily. One can coddle the boys and build their self-esteem, or we can challenge them and build their self-respect. Self-esteem = "I am a good person because everyone tells me that." Self-respect = I am a good person because I know who I am and what I'm capable of."

 

I have often told my boys that leading from the back is always more powerful than leading from the front. Some of my best leaders have actually been the APL's. Instead of sitting around waiting for the PL to not show up, they are continually working the background, making sure everything is running smoothly because the PL is busy with the agenda. That team makes a good patrol.

 

Stosh

[Hedgehog]

Stosh I think supporting and coddling are different. My response to "I can't" is "I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't think you could do it." Then I would ask them why they couldn't do it. Then I would encourage them to try, letting them know that trying and not getting 100% is better than not trying. At the end, I circle back with my favorite saying "argue your limitations and they are yours to keep." In the end, I feel like I've provided them with a framework for overcoming "I can't" as they progress through life.

[Stosh]

I'm a bit more up-front with my expectations. I let all my new boys know when they come into the troop that the words "I can't" aren't acceptable. If a boy is to be trustworthy, saying they can't do something before they tried is not building that trust. Then when it comes to excuses when it fails, ("I can't, because....") they don't count either. When things go awry, the comment is, "I guess you won't be doing it that way next time. So, what are you going to do now?" Just this past meeting, I heard my PL tell one of the boys, "Excuses don't get the work done. What do you need?" Kinda creepy coming from an 11 year-old PL.

 

 

Stosh

[Eagledad]

letting them know that trying and not getting 100% is better than not trying. .

 

I think this concept is so very important and requires experience for most adults to understand. I certainly was humbled to learn and understand it myself.

 

Just like everyone else in the world, all scouts are different in their goals, ambitions, desires and habits. Some scouts want to be the best and on top of the world, but most are satisfied with lesser objectives. If the adults judge success or failure of all scouts by the level of performance of the top performing scout, then the majority of scouts will never succeed with those adults. You see some of that here in the forum with the Eagle discussions. Kind of an ‘Eagles in other troops wouldn’t be worthy in my troop†attitude.

 

At the same time, if the adults set only mediocre expectations for all the scouts, then you find the more ambitious scouts getting bored and moving on because they aren’t challenged mentally or physically. This is the main cause of troops who can’t maintain the older scouts. Many troops build their program around developing scouts’ skills (basically first class maturity), and leave it at that. Once scouts reach that maturity, they are only expected to take on the responsibility of making sure the younger scouts reach that maturity. Well that means the scouts repeat the same-ol same-ol over and over and the program never matures above the 13 year old level. Many adults call it babysitting because it has the appearance of scouts just leading scouts around keeping them out of trouble. But in reality, it is just a program that won’t mature beyond the prepubescent stage of life. Older scouts don't leave because they don't like working with younger scouts, they actually enjoy it a lot because it is an adult responsibility. Older scouts leave because they are so terribly bored.

 

Adults need to grow to the concept that a mature program is one where there is no one set expectation for all scouts. Focus needs to be on individual growth with individual challenges and individual expectations. The “natural leader†who gets his greatest satisfaction needs to be challenged to grow in leadership skills that enhance his dreams for himself. A scout who is in a leadership positions but doesn’t have the same skills or vision should NOT be held to the same standards of that natural leader. Instead he should only be held to a standard greater than when he started and has obtained growth. He should be expected to grow. As Hedgehog points out, scouts should feel safe that while they will be challenged, failures are normal experiences when striving to succeed. A scout who puts out effort will never be considered a failure. Folks here would be amazed by how many scout leaders have approached me asking how to remove a poor performing scout from his POR. Since I don’t have personal experience with their situation, I only ask them if the scout has shown any growth from the experience. I don’t know if the adults expectations are reasonable, but surly there is something the adult can find in praising the scout efforts. If not, then it is the adults fault for allowing the scout to be in such a position.

 

Once your scouts develop a trust that the troop culture is one where failure from hard work, as well as success, are considered positive growth experiences, then the troop program will mature. Boys who normally don’t risk losing their self-confidence by failing in front of their peers will take that scary step forward in the unknown to at least give it a try. Once the program reaches that level of maturity, scouts will stay in the program because it is the one place in their lifestyle where they actually can achieve dreams.

 

Barry

 

 

 

[Stosh]

My boys understand that they will learn more from their failures than they will from their successes. I always tell my boys that if one is to take care of others when they fail, they'll be needing help. If one has never recovered from failure, they have nothing to offer.

 

Stosh

[MattR]

Hedgehog, his insecurity came from the fact that he wasn't sure he was allowed to do it, not that he wasn't capable. I didn't know how to convince him that since I am the SM, if I say it's OK to help his PL it's really OK to help his PL, so I dared him. Challenge is good.