What would you do differently?

[Rooster7]

Warning - This thread is along the same lines as "So what do you do for a living? Curiosity, more than Scouting, was its inspiration.

 

Along with other threads, Senior_Patrol_Leader_T15 and hops_scouts posts in the So what do you do for a living? thread, has made me think about my past. If you were a kid again - say 14 or 15 years old, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently for the next 10 years until you were say 24 or 25?

 

Heres a list of things I would do differently Or rather, its a list of ideas/actions that I hope I would embrace if I could go back in time to high school:

 

Embrace my belief in God unashamedly

Seek out and attend a Bible believing church

Care a whole lot less about what others might think of me

Develop a passion for learning especially history

Temper my passion for the opposite sex and develop patience

Look beyond peoples exteriors and appreciate them for their hearts and minds

Stay away from the cool kids (i.e, the jocks and others looking to have fun all the time)

Hang around some of the uncool kids (i.e., the young Bill Gates of the world some of which actually have a decent personality)

Realize that there are more important things in life than a beautiful girl in a short skirt

Dont become obsessed over one particular girl

Honor my parents more

Dont be in a hurry to grow up

Accept whatever support my parents were willing to give

Go straight to college out of high school

Saved money knowing that the future will come quicker than I expect

Soak up the time I had with my family especially around the holidays

 

So How about you? What would you do differently?

 

Senior_Patrol_Leader_T15 and hops_scout - I hope you guys are paying attention. I think you could benefit from the words of some adults who have had time to think about their mistakes.

 

[buffalo2]

This is a great thread Rooster and if I could make a crude attempt at generalization I'd have to say 'Slow down and enjoy where things are at right now. Have faith in yourself and in your unique set of skills and in your ability to learn and grow and develop. Don't worry too much if the world isn't quite ready to acknowledge your wonderfulness for you'

And would something off-topic that I heard somewhere and can't get out of my mind 'This might be Heaven - right here and right now' Makes you realize how good we've got it...

Thanks again for bringing this up

[dancinfox]

When my father was dying of cancer in 1987, about a week before he died, I asked him the same question. (He was 67) He told me if he could go back and change anything, he wouldnt. He was happy with his life and who he was as a man. Made me think. What I have gone through in my life, has made me what I am today. I believe my answer would be the same as my fathers, nothing.

 

Dancin

[scoutingagain]

Great question Rooster. For the most part there is not alot I would change. In hind sight I wish I had stayed more active in my Troop then I did after I earned my Eagle. It wasn't that I conciously quit, I stayed a member but it seemed like a lot more stuff came up in my life as a junior & senior in high school and I didn't participate as much. As a consequence I did not get to the great outdoors as much as I had in the past and didn't realize how much I missed it until I got to college and got together with other scouts.

 

As a relatively shy person I would try and be a bit more outgoing.

 

It would have been nice to find my wife a bit earlier in my life. I just think we could have had fun together in our early twenties after being married to her for 20 years.

 

I spent as much time as I could with my sons when they were younger but I would like to have spent even more.

 

I won't get into specific incidents where I may have made a fool of myself on more then one occasion.

 

Oh... and to have bought into Microsoft in 1985.

 

SA

[Bob White]

Absolutely, that Microsoft thing!

[dsteele]

I know we're benefiting, or trying to, our youth member friends.

 

However, I honestly can't think of anything I would wish to change that would not change who I am, how I think, and what I have become. Like Dancin' I'm pretty darn happy to have gotten to this particlar spot in my life and am looking forward to the future.

 

There are some things I wish I could do AGAIN --

 

Relive the Thanksgiving I spent with my mother, father, brother, maternal grandfather and grandmother, and paternal great-grandmother and great-grandfater. We had such a high time and a lot of laughs. Even if I could only sit there in that warm bask as a ghost I would be thrilled. Just the memory of it makes me smile and a lump form in the throat.

 

DS

[le Voyageur]

Nada,

 

Life is a balance between the bitter and the sweet. And, as we journey through life we bcome the choices we made along the way.

However, for the most of us, the only choice not allowed is who are parents and families are.

Gotta admit, I lucked out here.....

[Fat Old Guy]

There are many girls that I should have asked out and many that I should have not taken out. Shoulda bought AOL.

[Eamonn]

Have to admit to being happy with the cards that I have been dealt. So I don't think that I would change anything. I/we would liked to have more then one child. But due to a nasty run in with testicular cancer as a young man, having the one that we have was not only a surprize but an added bonus. Maybe for a number of years I worked too hard and too many hours missing out on a lot of stuff. However I am at the stage of my life where money is not that important. Of course I would always welcome more but I look back and think that maybe the 18 hour days were worth it.

Yes the ride so far has been a good one I have met a lot of really nice people many have become good friends one or two are best friends. Scouts and Scouting has had a lot to do with that. I know that I'm going to miss it when I give it up.

Eamonn

[mk9750]

I guess at times I am guilty of being too proud of myself, but I feel I have done an acceptable job being an example to my children, and a loving husband to my wife. These are the two responsiblities I feel I have been charged with on this earth, and I feel good about how I have done so far.

 

The only two things I can think of that I would change would be to have worked harder in school, and to avoid gaining the weight I have gained in my adult life. I think both of these have caused me difficulty setting an example for my sons. I've tried to use the negative to try to make positive statements, but there is a limit to how much "do as I say, not as I did" kids will accept.

 

Other than that, any changes I might have made are minor. I would nto have started smoking. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did (DS, you can do it if you want! If you've risen above the other obstacles in your way, you can quit. I know it!). And I had an opportunity to sign a minor league baseball contract when I was 19 and didn't do it. I knew then, and know now, that I was not talented enough to go far, and I had a job paying more than baseball would have, so I passed. Now I kind of wish I had done it, just for the experience.

 

Mark

[Rooster7]

Perhaps I've been misunderstood -

 

I understand that your past experiences tend to mold who you are. But even if I was completely happy with who I am today, which I am not (I see lots of room for improvement) - there are a number of things I would have changed about my past, especially when I was in high school and college.

 

First and foremost, I was way too occupied with the opposite sex and the pleasures of the here and now. There are many folks who were better examples than I, but I can't believe that I'm the only one who sees a lot of "wasted time" spent as a youth. The point of my thread was to point out some common pitfalls and opportunities to the Scouts on this board. They're in their teenaged years right now. Does anyone have some advise for them based on their own experiences (i.e., their mistakes and victories)?

 

Hey I can accept that youre happy with the results. Im just surprised that so few of you made mistakes that you've regretted along the way.

 

[mk9750]

Rooster,

 

I think I know what you're trying to say, but I think you and I see such things in a slightly different light.

 

For instance, you regret being so preoccupied with girls. Although it may not have caused a specific positive trait that manifested itself later in your life, I still thnk it was valuable to helping form the person you are now, and from my seat, I think you're a fine person. Would you be better for not having spent time chasing skirts? I'm not so sure you could really make that case. The wall of your life is made up of all of the stones used to build it. Most are average, a few very big, and some are just fillers. One or two have flaws. But even the flawed stones are what give the wall character.

 

I'm not so sure we should be questioning things we did in the past so critically. If what we've done made us less of a person for it (for me, being lazy and gaining weight are examples), then yes, maybe we should be critical of our past. But you are the good person you are specifically BECAUSE of many of those experiences you describe wanting to change.

 

You have always been very open about how important your faith is to you. Do you not feel as though having been a wanderer earlier in your life helped bring you to the understanding of God you have now? And if so, although I can understand your wish that you had the benefit of such understanding longer in your life, you have to acknowledge that perhaps your understanding would not have been as clear if you did not come of it in the manner you have.

 

I know I'm rambling again. Sorry. But I think you are being tougher on yourself than is called for.

 

Mark

[buffalo2]

Mark - Thanks for that 'wall of your life' perspective

[Rooster7]

mk9750,

 

Your point is very well statedand taken. Or, as the Lord said to Paul:

 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

 

Still, I feel we can definitely benefit the next generation by sharing with them. With a little prayer, our sons and/or their peers might be able to glean a lesson from our past without having to endure the same hardship.

 

[OldGreyEagle]

On a different perspective I very much resented anyone telling me how I should should live my life and would not think that I should tell anyone how to live there's other than to follow the Oath and Law

 

 

Got a call from an old friend

We used to be real close

Said he couldn't go on the American way

Closed the shop, sold the house

Bought a ticket to the West Coast

Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.

 

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

 

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong

And you can speak your mind

But not on my time

 

They will tell you, you can't sleep alone in a strange place

Then they'll tell you, you can't sleep with somebody else

Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space

Either way it's okay, you wake up with yourself

 

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

 

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong

And you can speak your mind

But not on my time

 

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone