How to deal with a dificult know it all parent who is constianly second guessing the leaders

[mattman578]

Hi I am a new Tiger cub den leader. One of my Tigers Parents is a second guessing know it all. Why are we walking the trail that is muddy when the field is next to the trail is dry ? I do not need to set up and Axe. extra He is constantly interrupting with my way is better even if it is not. I am finding really hard to do my job with this and almost dreading every function that he is going to be in. Does any body have any hints on how I can handle this #$% #$%^ with out risking loosing or hurting his son ?

[gsdad]

Since Tigers are supposed to take a shared leadership approached, assign him a Den Meeting and let him run it. See how he does.

[Stosh]

As a Tiger Cub DL, I'm thinking the job is brand new and difficult even without the interruptions.

 

" Why are we walking the trail that is muddy when the field is next to the trail is dry ?" Well, I would answer, "Mr. A--- brings up a really good point boys, what do you think? Why is it we as Scouts always stay on the trails even when it looks better someplace else?"

 

Be sure to thank him for helping out with that important lesson for the boys.

 

Some people are always going to be Level 4 conflicts generators. That's their nature and they love to play the game of pushing buttons. Once they find yours, you're in trouble. Just don't let them know what your buttons are. Tough to do, but important nonetheless.

 

At first that kind of interruption is nerve-wracking, but remember, your reaction can either be emotional or intellectual. Your choice.

 

If this does not help with the problem, maybe a sit down talk could help (probably not much in that it already sound like the has an alternative agenda going on anyway). Chances of solving Level 4 conflict is quite low.

 

As a last resort, one might have to ask him to find another Pack for his son. It is not all that beneficial to harm the group trying to protect the one individual.

[mattman578]

Guys Thanks for all of your help I will keep try some of the suggestions and let you know how it works out

[JoeBob]

Put him to work.

Assign him to be in charge of the craft portion of your meeting (set-up, do, breakdown and clean up...)

Vent his energy, and keep him out of your way.

[perdidochas]

Hi I am a new Tiger cub den leader. One of my Tigers Parents is a second guessing know it all. Why are we walking the trail that is muddy when the field is next to the trail is dry ? I do not need to set up and Axe. extra He is constantly interrupting with my way is better even if it is not. I am finding really hard to do my job with this and almost dreading every function that he is going to be in. Does any body have any hints on how I can handle this #$% #$%^ with out risking loosing or hurting his son ?

 

Ask him to take over as TDL.

[JasonG172]

 

Ask him to take over as TDL.

 

 

ONLY after he's been trained !!!! In all areas of scouting

[Twocubdad]

Asking someone like that is a TERRIBLE idea. They may take you up on it.

[perdidochas]

Of course being fully trained is a requirement for taking over as TDL. If Know it all hasn't already volunteered, he won't take up the offer. Know it alls like that are all talk, no action.

[perdidochas]

Of course being fully trained is a requirement for taking over as TDL. If Know it all hasn't already volunteered, he won't take up the offer. Know it alls like that are all talk, no action.

[ScoutNut]

Keep two things in mind -

1) Tigers is a learning experience for the Scouts AND their parents. In most cases the families are brand new to Scouting and everything that entails. Do as jblake47 suggests, and turn controversy into a chance for everyone to learn.

 

2) YOUR way might not always be the BEST way either. Be open minded. Be flexible. Be fair.

 

Also, remember to Include your Adult Partners in EVERYTHING that the Scouts do. The Tiger/AP are teams and should be treated as such.

 

This dad might be a pain in the backside, but it certainly sounds like he is enthusiastic. Tap into that. If you can learn to get along, and work together, he might be a diamond in the rough, and just the assistant den leader you might need for your upcoming Scouting years!

 

Good luck - and HAVE FUN!!

[SM bob]

I would inform the parent that the den is not a democracy and since you are the leader this is the path you are leading everyone down. Tell him very nicely that there other packs in the area (have a list of the other pack phone numbers ready) and he might like them better if this one does not suit him. You will have to deal with this adult for the rest of cubs and maybe scouts. Tell the parent straight up how things will be run. You are the leader it's that simple. If they calm down then give them a task. If they do that well then a job. Nip this one in the bud.

[Pack18Alex]

Talk to him outside of the meeting, if it continues, tell him that another adult needs to attend with his son. We have one of those, we're deciding what to do. It is very tedious. In our case, it's a very active volunteer, but doesn't change the fact that it makes the volunteer job painful on everyone else.

 

I don't care of the annoying dad is right, each scout position takes 1-4 hours/week, and if we're not having fun, we don't want to do it.

 

But yeah, they need to understand the program and how it will be delivered, it is not a democracy, we do not discuss "what is best" we instead "do our best" and there is no reason for naysayers. His son is welcome to stay, but he's on probation. Otherwise, you give in to bullying behavior and set a bad example for the scouts.

[SSScout]

What has been said before. AND.... A Scout is Cheerful. If you can help LEAD this parent to the true Scout experience, we will all be the better for it. Immediately telling him he is not wanted and had better find another Pack is counterproductive and not fair to the boy. He will find out about his dad soon enough, eventually.

A friendly (underline) sit down may have better results than an ultimatum. The dad may not realize the way he is coming off to others. He may well be a highly intelligent , well meaning , gregarious, able man. He may be frustrated at work, seeking an outlet for his talent and energy. Help him find that outlet, to the benefit of all.