Frequently Absent Scouts

[evillama]

I've tried to search for this topic but can't really think of key words to look for, so I'm starting a new thread.

 

We have a pack of ~60 scouts, the vast majority of which are active and engaged. Many are involved with sports; some missed den and pack meetings are no big deal.

 

But we had one family sign-on as Tigers in September and the dad even volunteered to be an Assistant Den Leader. They paid their dues and were VERY active until around Thanksgiving, when they just disappeared off the planet. No e-mails, no den meetings, no responses, nothing. Then the father came back and said they were "busy with hockey" and would "be back in the spring". They didn't even attend our Blue & Gold banquet last week where all the ranks received their badges.

 

So what's the general response to this? Having missed many den meetings and activities, does the scout "deserve" the Tiger badge? What happens if they come back for a few meetings and then decide to take up baseball and disappear again?

 

I realize some families consider scouting can be "part time" since the parents sign-off on achievements and also some sports coaches can say, "be at every practice or you're out" but how do you emphasize the balance needed between both? I don't think this family has anything against the pack, I just think they thought they'd take up something else; maybe the son doesn't want to come to the meetings but the dad wants to give it another try. It's hard to get to the truth when there's no communication.

 

The last family that was this way were coming back as Bears last September, but were always very late in paying their dues - as late as January and February. They showed up once in September then disappeared "due to football commitments" but were going to "come back after the season". The father loved the Pinewood Derby races so it almost seemed like they would only come back just for that. The den leaders were pretty miffed at this because it screwed up scheduling, planning, dividing up responsibilities (bringing snacks, paying den dues, etc.) I had to tell the family in October, "poop or get off the pot" and well, they chose football. Part of me felt guilty but at the same time, I felt like we were standing up for scouting, and weren't going to be seen as a come-and-go-as-you-please hobby.

 

Thoughts and advice appreciated.

 

ENV

 

[mashmaster]

All you can do is make sure they know where all the events are. If you tell them they have to make a choice they will take the easier of the two options. For cub scouts, I would encourage them to come to the events and welcome them, whenever they show. Since they love Pinewood derby, maybe ask the dad to help plan the event next year. How does it screw with the den leader planning? The den leaders plan the schedule and make sure everyone knows when stuff is happening. Just let them do their best, the boy and his dad may have to complete stuff at home.

[evillama]

The den leaders divide up the year's meetings with responsibilities laid out. One meeting the Smith's will bring a snack for everyone and the Jones's will coordinate the activity (along with the leaders). Another family may be assigned to watch over the siblings that were brought along, whatever. Also the dens ask for annual dues, maybe $15 or $20 per year to help pay for supplies. If they show up 4 or 5 times out of the year, are the dues prorated? It's not big money but hard if not impossible to get from these "frequently absent scouts".

 

Are they not obliged to help the den with these responsibilities? What is that teaching the kids?

[Polaris]

You can Scout and participate in sports. Some families choose sports or whatever over Scouting. Your enthusiasm for Scouting is not the same as theirs. A Scout family with frequent absences will receive a phone call from the Den Leader. In almost all cases, the family has quit.

 

As far as volunteering and financial responsibilities, if it is the same family again and again, a phone call is needed--not an email. "Mrs. Smith, I am giving you a reminder phone call that you signed you to help with........ Will you be there on Tuesday? Also, we ask our families to help out with expenses and could you bring $xx to the meeting? Thanks again. See you on Tuesday!" If you put them on the spot, you will get your answer. If they don't return your phone call, then move on to Plan B.

 

Our Pack collects a lump sum for dues--thru popcorn and/or personal check. This way the Den Leaders are not responsible for collecting funds--they're responsible for their program and the fun. The DLs have a budget for reimbursable expenses. Families pay their Pack dues and if they show up, they get to enjoy Scouting. If not, well, they missed out.

 

I recommend you discuss your concerns with the Pack Committee especially if one family's absence is messing up your scheduling, planning and dividing up of responsibilities. Our Den Leaders will ask families to help out with small tasks, such as snacks, and if they no-show, no big deal. The kids will not starve. You now know these are not the families that will be responsible for larger tasks such as running a Den meeting much less a Pinewood Derby.

 

It's called the Oreo test. Identifying a potential helper or volunteer is very important to event planning be it a Den activity or a Pack event rather than passing around a sign up sheet and ask all folks to put their name on it because everyone else did. Potential volunteers are engaged--they pay attention, they ask questions, they show up. If you are assigning tasks before you get to know someone, you are gambling they will follow through.

 

http://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2014/02/26/try-this-identify-potential-scout-leaders-with-the-oreo-test/

[perdidochas]

Not sure what you mean by "deserve" the Tiger Badge. The basic way it works is if he meets the requirements (does, what is it 15 activities), he gets the badge. He has until June 1st to do it.

[Austinole]

I'm with you on this. I get about 1/2 attendance lately. Scouts isn't a priority for hardly anyone. Seems like school is putting more pressure on the kids too. I know my son has missed a meeting or two because he didn't get his homework done. What I have done is put on the best program possible and those that show up get to do the things planned. Of course, my wife (also a Den Leader) gets to hear me grumble about it. Best thing is to communicate as much as possible and get confirmation on assigned tasks. As far as rank goes, again communicate. Let them know what you are working on and what is left to earn rank. We usually make up missed assignments at camping.

 

It's tough but it's the world we live in today.

[DeanRx]

"Deserve" the Tiger rank... Hmmm, thats a tricky question. As a CM for 3+ years on a couple of occasions, I had parents (usually a DL or ADL) broach the idea with me that a scout in their den was not active and thus did not participate enough in the den activities to complete the rank requirements, yet the parent of the scout had signed them off. I even had one parent go so far as suggest that to award a scout the rank when everyone "knew" he hadn't completed the requirements "cheapened" the award for the other boys....

 

Here's the sticky part. In Cub Scouts - the requirements in the book clearly state that the scout "Does their best" to complete the requirement, the parent signs off and the DL records the acheivement. There is NO provision that the scout MUST do the acheivements at a den meeting or with the rest of the den (although that is how a good majority of requirements get done). There is no Scoutmaster conference or Board of Review in Cub Scouts like we have in Boy Scouts to review the acheivements and make sure the scout has mastered the tasks or even actually done them. Its an honor system - if the parent says they did it and the parent is willing to sign-off, then the scout did the requirement - PERIOD.

 

It sucks that some parents would sign off on rank acheivements that their son hasn't done, but that is between the parent and the kid. Any intervention you might try to make as a DL, ADL, or CM would likely fall of deaf ears anyways. Finally, as I told the parent who said I was "cheapening" the award's value for the kids who actually did do the requirements?... Na... they know what its worth to them as they did their acheivements. The only way their son would know for sure is if their son heard it from the parent that so-and-so didn't do all the requirements... I put that bad parent move right up there with the parent that would sign-off when the kid didn't actually do it... so its sort of a stones in glass houses thing to me. Besides, how do you really KNOW the kid didn't do the requirements with his family?

 

To me - this is a case of enjoy this families company when they show up and participate. If they are paying dues and no-show, then its their $ they have wasted. Take pride in what YOUR son has / is doing to earn their rank and pride in knowing no corners were cut in their work towards rank. The rank will mean more to them if they actually worked for it. The scout who's parent is signing off without actually doing the work has a lot larger issues to face at some point in life than a few glossed over Cub Scout acheivements.... be glad your scout is part of the former and not part of the later... it will serve them well in life in the long run.

 

Dean

 

[dedkad]

To earn your Webelos badge and AOL, there is a requirement to be active in the den for "x" amount of months. Maybe they need something like that for the other ranks.