Am I overreacting to Leader/Co-Leader situation?

[dinky]

Just wondering if I'm overreacting or not. I feel Girl Scouts is a place the girls should come to feel good about themselves, not put up with nonsense and bullying, feel accepted, etc.

So the leader and co-leader and their children were talking in front of a few scouts tonight about a bday party that will be happening directly after the girls are meeting to earn a badge. At least 3 girls were all talking of the party and sleepover in front of 2 other scouts not invited. I mean, not being invited is one thing, but holding this directly after the function and earning a badge and sending an email out that says p.s. make sure you get your girls on time because we have places to go???? The place is to their house for a pool party. One little girl was very upset and wondered why she wasn't included.

 

The leader last year even handed out an invitation to another girl for her party last year in front of some. My child and another girl were also cornered by these girls and were told they weren't as pretty and didn't dress as nice at a meeting that was meant to teach the girls about how bullying affects people. I did tell the one mom about it later and she was apologetic but I don't think anything will change. What gives? Am I expecting too much out of scouts? I thought it was just more of a place where that stuff wasn't accepted and they were all equals and part of a "family". Like I said, I'm not as concerned about everyone not getting the invite. It's more of that it's scheduled directly after a function where they will all be there. It's already been shoved in their face tonight and now they will hear it tomorrow. The girls bday was last month. It's not like it had to be this day. I just expect more from the leaders and co-leader. We always invite all the scouts as well as does the other girl involved to avoid anyone feeling left out.

[qwazse]

Tact and discretion are learned behaviors. Scouting does little to instruct people on these specific behaviors. That said ... The best you could do is to tell parents how their behavior affected the other children and teach the other children how accept the fact that by definition not everyone can be everyone else's BFF. By the way, this affects boys as well, but not nearly to the degree it seems to bother young girls.

[Nike]

You should definitely and calmly speak to the leaders about the bullying behaviour of those girls as well as their own insensitive discussion of a party to earn a badge to which not everyone was invited. Point out he distress it caused uninvited girls. This was not friendly and helpful, considerate or caring, or an example of being a sister to every Girl Scout. You need to ask the leaders that they be responsible for what they say and do, be respectful of others, and help to make the world a better place by keeping private things private.

 

Girl Scouts, as an organization, does not tolerate bullying and if the leaders aren't at least apologetic, you should bring this to the attention of your local area coordinator. This person can be found by calling your local Girl Scout Council.

[Stosh]

Sounds like the leaders haven't quite gotta themselves out of eighth grade yet. Sounds like a good time to get some adult leadership for the group.

[SSScout]

 

 

It takes a lot of maturity for middle school kids to get out of the "I'm in the in group" mentality. One has to find their OWN in group. But to not include the Scout Troop, when it is obviously the "lead in" to the party group, that is something the parent-leader needs to address. The daughter has learned this behavior, it is not , I think, innate in the female of the species.

Bullying is not always an obvious thing, and the idea that "you need to grow a thicker skin" is not the proper thing to say or insist on to the group. Yes, thicker skins help the victims, but that does not excuse the bully-er. Even parents can be facilitators in such inappropriate behavior. Here's a discussion about it:

 

http://www.dorkdiaries.com/2013/05/what-to-do-when-your-friends-dont-invite-you-to-stuff/

 

 

If it was me, I would go to the individual adults of the girls in question and ask them if they were aware of the bad feelings that their girls are engendering in the group? That the cohesiveness and sisterhood of the Troop were at stake? Ask them what their desire was for their kids was? Cooperation? Superiority?

 

Good luck to you and your girls. "We're all in this together. I'm pulling for you".

[perdidochas]

Just wondering if I'm overreacting or not. I feel Girl Scouts is a place the girls should come to feel good about themselves, not put up with nonsense and bullying, feel accepted, etc.

So the leader and co-leader and their children were talking in front of a few scouts tonight about a bday party that will be happening directly after the girls are meeting to earn a badge. At least 3 girls were all talking of the party and sleepover in front of 2 other scouts not invited. I mean, not being invited is one thing, but holding this directly after the function and earning a badge and sending an email out that says p.s. make sure you get your girls on time because we have places to go???? The place is to their house for a pool party. One little girl was very upset and wondered why she wasn't included.

 

The leader last year even handed out an invitation to another girl for her party last year in front of some. My child and another girl were also cornered by these girls and were told they weren't as pretty and didn't dress as nice at a meeting that was meant to teach the girls about how bullying affects people. I did tell the one mom about it later and she was apologetic but I don't think anything will change. What gives? Am I expecting too much out of scouts? I thought it was just more of a place where that stuff wasn't accepted and they were all equals and part of a "family". Like I said, I'm not as concerned about everyone not getting the invite. It's more of that it's scheduled directly after a function where they will all be there. It's already been shoved in their face tonight and now they will hear it tomorrow. The girls bday was last month. It's not like it had to be this day. I just expect more from the leaders and co-leader. We always invite all the scouts as well as does the other girl involved to avoid anyone feeling left out.

 

Sounds like mothers who don't know anything about proper etiquette and simple politeness.