Not Sure What To Do

[BadenP]

Well, this is my first read of this thread and Eamonn let me say this, I have tried to appeal to Bob civily in the past only to be insulted by him at every turn so I tried using his own methodology on him to no avail. Since you have a personal relationship with Bob you may not be the right person to decide either of our fates. If you do decide to ban me from this site than all I ask is that you do the same to Bob, at least then other scouters will no longer be subjected to his insults. If Bob agrees to stop his attacks on every one of my posts than I will agree to do the same with his. I would love to see Bob converse civily with all posters here. So there it is, a scout is courteous, kind, helpful, and friendly and thats what I will strive for in my postings if Bob agrees to do the same with his replies.

[Chug]

Bob White said:"Help me out here Chug. I have had evmori on ignore for several weeks, Check his posts and tell me if you think it changed the tone of any of his posts? I will bet it hasn't.

 

Did it change my posts? Before I posted about the content of BSA program training and resources and they address specific comments or questions, I still do. No changes,

 

Do you honestly believe that if BadenP could not see my posts that he would stop posting about me? If I could not see his posts would the content of the BSA training and resources somehow change?"

 

I know one thing, it takes two people to have an argument, if you both have each other on ignore you'll soon run out of things to argue about.

 

[evmori]

I have noticed since Bob White's return discussions have been more confrontational than discussion. Everyone, me included, seems to be in attack mode.

 

 

[Melgamatic]

I don't know any of the people involved, and although I've read probably all the posts on the boards it wasn't immediately clear to me who was the topic of discussion until their names were mentioned in this thread.

 

Although I am a newcomer to this board, I have been actively involved with message boards for more than 30 years, from starting some of the earliest modem-bank BBS systems through running large Yahoo groups, internet forums, etc. I once ran a very large auto racing organization until the unpleasantness from the forums and email lists dragged me down and I had to quit to make myself happy again.

 

My comment would be that some people are unable to kept themselves from being unpleasant on the internet. They can be very good people, successful in life and wonderful contributors to volunteer programs, but can't help themselves when typing at a computer. It's just an issue they face.

 

Unfortunately, these people can bring the quality of a forum down. People who do not have this syndrome start posting less frequently. People are afraid that they might be "slammed" for asking "stupid" questions or having contrary views. This is exactly the opposite of what you want.

 

Especially in a program where we all promise to be "helpful, friendly, courteous, kind" among other things.

 

Editing all their posts is not a good answer. Most importantly, I'll guess that the moderators have better things to do with their lives. Moderation also gives unhappy people another thing to complain about.

 

The most successful email lists I know have a "two strikes" system. The first time you are very unpleasant in an email you get a week timeout, and the second time you are removed from the list permanently. You can't let people who feel they can be unpleasant on the internet ruin your life (or even make it much harder). Life is already challenging enough.

 

-Melgamatic

 

[Guest OldGreyEagle]

BadenP, so what you are saying is that you will follow the scout law as soon as BobWhite does and not until then?

 

 

[Eamonn]

Please believe me, I'm not on any type of a power trip.

I'm also very aware that I'm on better terms with one of these fellows than the other. Not that I'm on bad terms with either. - Or so I hope!

When I look back at the time I have spent in Scouting. I have only made the recommendation once to have a youth removed from the program.

I have never seen any real benefit from suspending a Scout. My thinking being that what ever good we might be able to do? Isn't going to happen if he isn't around.

As an employer for almost 18 years I only ever fired two people. Both of these people still stop me in the street to say Hi and ask how I'm doing.

At work I go out of my way to work things out with the inmates before I resort to writing them up on charges.

No!! I know I'm not ready for sainthood! Someone last week used the term "Joe Six-pack" I kinda think that might fit.

 

My goal has been to bring this bickering to an end.

Thankfully one fellow has said that he is willing to do so.

Working on the assumption that it takes two to tango.It would seem that the goal has been met.

 

Reading over the PM's I received.

There has been some very good ideas, which I will present in the coming days and weeks.

It has been asked that the Moderators take a more active role in addressing un-scout-like behavior.

I have to own up to not following threads that hold little interest to me and have been willing to allow FScouter carry all this weight. Sadly Frank is not in the best of health. (If you think of it do please say a little prayer for him.)

Many of the PM's have suggested that a warning be issued with some sort of consequence ?

To my mind this would sound like a threat.

I don't believe that is how we should do things.

 

It has been said that I was very much in the wrong by starting this thread. I did use the term "Public Flogging" one PM likened it to some sort of a Crucifixion. This was never my intent. I do apologize if I did indeed cause anyone

extreme and painful punishment, affliction, or suffering.

It was also said that I should have taken the time to talk with both fellows and weigh up the cause of the problem.

I do think in real life I would have taken each of them out for a coffee or a drink and worked toward a resolution. Sadly being what this is and where we are located this just wasn't possible. I will admit that my thinking was very much along the lines: "Nobody is right when everyone is wrong." As too who is more wrong? I didn't go there or want to go there.

I do want to thank both of these fellows for their openness and thank BadenP for offering to do what I think is the right thing.

Having said all of this. I see no point in allowing this thread to continue.

Many thanks for all the PM's and good ideas.

Some of which I will need to get the OK from Terry before I can do anything with.

Eamonn.