What do I do with an adult that isn't a leader but continually interferes?

[Senior_Patrol_Leader_T15]

My camp-out is next weekend so this is what I think I should do if this does happen:

 

If she starts holloring at me, I will ask someone to go get the Scoutmaster to deal with her or I'l go get him myself. If she stops me or the person I send, I will tell her about what she is doing and ask her to calm down and please leave. If she still continues, well then I'll take Davej775's approch, but using this as a last resort.

 

And I also have to confinse her son not to come on the hike with me and fellow Eagle Scout canidate for (1), it is 14 mile, (2) I dont feel like watching anyone so that (3) me and my fellow Veturer can discuss our Eagle requirments and get our Venturing plans in order.

 

And guess what, im Grubmaster (Woo-Woo!) and we will eat good. Don't you just start to drool when you hear that we will have hot fudge sundaes for crackerbarrel.

[AlphaCentauri]

I'd like to throw something more in about the personality disorder angle. She's probably not a sociopath if she's not in jail yet, but there are other types of personality disorders.

 

The main feature of a personality disorder is that everyone can see the person has a problem except the person with the problem. That person has spent her entire life developing these habits as coping mechanisms and considers the behaviors completely appropriate. Getting them to change is difficult even in long-term counseling.

 

I work with a woman who is very similar, married to one of the top executives, considering herself above everyone else. She has narcissistic personality disorder. Those are the people who honestly believe they shouldn't have to be kept waiting even though they can see that lots of people who arrived ahead of them are waiting. They feel they are really special and deserve to get preferential treatment.

 

We had a lot of fights, and I was actually praying for our relationship to improve -- I didn't see any way except divine intervention.

 

But here's the the thing you have to understand. This disorder arises in people who have felt criticized their whole lives, whose parents never seemed to feel they were good enough. They had to deal with it by constructing the fantasy that they really were that wonderful. They attach themselves to important people and drop names. But deep down they feel worthless. If anything threatens their fantasy, they get suicidal (but don't make really serious attempts to kill themselves because they can't imagine a world without themselves in it).

 

Despite these problems, narcissists can really do great things if they get into something they have talent for. They have the ability to convince everyone that they can succeed, and it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

What my coworker did -- and what the woman in your troop needs to do -- is get out from under the shadow of the important husband. She needs to have a project that is uniquely her own, where her successes will be her own victories, where the compliments she receives will be sincere. I don't know if there is such a project your troop could set her loose on, or who would be the person to suggest it to her, but it could be good for her and you both.

 

My coworker, by the way, started her own non-profit organization which is growing like a weed, and every successful project is leading to more grants to do new projects. She'll have more employees than her husband's company soon. And we're friends now.

[Davej775]

I just looked up Narcissistic personality and wow, this does seem to fit. For a comparison I also checked with the Psychopathic Personality. here's the sites for you to look at:

 

www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/howto.html

www.oregoncounceling.org/Handouts/PsychopathicPersonality.html

 

As a future Scoutmaster, you will need all the information you can get to be able to get the most and give the most to your future Scouts. I don't know at this if the Scouts offer any merit badge for this field of psychology. If they do, you're halfway there. You're dealing with a perfect field experment! Please read these two sites; hope the link works! best to you in Scouting, Dave J775!

[Senior_Patrol_Leader_T15]

Ok, hey i got a question on the Ranger Award: Can you use your First Aid merit badge for the Ranger required and the elective?

 

And can you wear pins you got from another organization on your sholder?

[Twocubdad]

Can't answer that one since I'm not in that area of the program, but I would suggest you post it to the Venturing form. You'll probably get a better response there.

 

With all due respect to AC and Davej, let's keep in mind that SPL is 14. What ever personality disorders this woman may or may not have really isn't up to him to deal with.

 

SPL, I hope you've made that appointment with your SM to discuss this with him. I hope he understands this is his cross to bear. If the woman continues to cause you problems, your first and last recourse needs to be to get your SM and just walk away from the situation.