Pilmont mess

[LauraT7]

Mark -

 

you are right, we're not talking a legal commitment here - but I think the ADULTS, while holding a scout accountable to his word, also need to get a commitment from the parents on a big trip like this.

 

Still, I've seen times when even the PARENTS make a big commitment ( like summer camp) and then back out because of something trivial.

 

in this case, tho - I think I can picture what happened - a Kid really wants to go - but his parents aren't communicating and he can't get an answer from them, or maybe he's afraid to even ask. Originally, when asked if he wanted to go, he told everyone, "yes" - as the time for money and a second "hard" commitment came, he either let it slide or was afraid to tell the SM (who sounds like a rather forceful and possibly intimidating personality) that it wasn't possible for him to go. The boy may have even held out a faint hope that some miracle might occur to allow him to go - his parents reconcile, one of them might pay for it, he might get a great job, etc.

 

sometimes stress shows up as denial. Especially in kids facing a hard decision - they shove it away rather than deal with it upfront.

 

Like Eamonn said - we have to remember that as mature as the boys can be, they are still kids, and are still learning. I'm sure he's 'learned' from this experience - do we have to make it even tougher for him?

[scoutdad]

Hi all!

 

Just finished second week of woodbadge and had no idea my topic was still under discussion. Yes this is a vacation for the SM. My perception is that for the scout back in Nov. -Dec. Philmont looked like a good idea, but I believe him when he said he gave a qualified yes depending on funds. One of the thing I came away from a woodbadge role playing exercise was when things are not going as you would expect with a youth, find out whats going on in their life before taking them to task. The time to address this was months ago when the first installment was due, or periodically when the crew would meet for planning and training Of course that assumes that this is a real crew with a youth leader and that they meet before leaving for Philmont. By the way, I asked my son and this scout if each would like to go if the other was going and the SM was not, and they both expressed interest in going. But the scout didnt sound all that excited, not enough for the kind of war that would start and I told him so. If he had been firmly interested in going the money problem could be solved. Thanks to you all for your advise.

 

YIS

Scoutdad

 

 

[mk9750]

Scoutdad,

 

The one absolute in this is in the comment you made "If he had been firmly interested in going the money problem could be solved." As long as that's true (and I believe it's ALWAYS true), then it becomes a matter of judging the politics of the situation. And it sounds like your right - there isn't enough interest to justify the spitting contest you'd have on your hands if you made issues about this.

 

Now, why you have a SM with whom your boys don't want to take a great trip is another issue...

 

Mark

[scoutdad]

Philmont mess update-

 

Had committee meeting last night and the issue of the finances of the scout came up. Not a fun meeting but no blood was spilled With four adults out of seven having a stake in the trip it felt like I was defending a young man accused of slashing the tires on the cars of 5 of the 9 Supreme Court Justices. I reiterated that the scout said his participation was conditional at the beginning. They disagreed. I asked when was the last time he indicated an interest in going. They were insistent that he was still set on going in June. The last time funds were taken from his account was in May. I found out that this is a Council contingent trip and that the Council set its own payment schedule and refund requirements and this was given to the scout at some point. We struck a deal to split the scouts current deficit of $103, with the scout repaying $51.50. In all this will cost the scout $143 for the trip he did not go on. If a replacement can be found he could get this money back.

 

Latter last night after the PLC meeting I pulled the scout aside and talked to him. I told him that the adults involved with the trip were sure he was indicating he was going even as late as June. He says this is not true that he never was all that interested. I asked once again just how got involved in this trip. He said that in a meeting, must have been Aug or Sept. of last year they asked all of those interested to stand up and when he saw his friends stand up and particularly my son, he stood up. One little problem. My son has consistently had no interest in Philmont every time I have asked him. To my son the program has been sold as long days of hiking and more hiking. He doesnt see it as adventure. My son briefly considered going this last Aug. because he thought his friends were going. I discussed the matter further with the scout and he related that his family could not afford the trip for him with the family going to England next year for his step-sisters wedding. Things are beginning to clear up now. At some point I believe a choice was made between Philmont or England. I feel a little like one of those Loony-Tune cartoon characters when the dynamite blows up in their hands. Ouch!

 

YIS

Scoutdad