Do we show our true colors in front of scouts?

[Eagledad]

>> I just hope this attitude is not displayed in front of the kids and scouting families

[scoutingagain]

While there are certainly different opinions expressed in this particular forum on a variety of topics, I can say in all honesty, while there are hot topics here, they virtually never come up for discussion in the the unit I serve here at the local level. They may come up in an adult committee meeting but are not debated and I have never heard them come up in any meeting, discussion or activity involving youth members of the unit.

 

So I suspect that implementing the basics of scouting at the local level all of us would get along quite well...unless someone suggested a laser tag outing.

 

SA

 

 

 

 

[fred8033]

scoutingagain is correct. All these controversial topics on this forum rarely come up in the units. The most controversial thing in units is usually how to work with the scouts, how to discipline, etc. In fact, most of us try to pull the controversial topics (both sides of the discussion) OUT of scouting.

[Trevorum]

Barry, You are absolutely right. I'd love to have you as my son's SM. Period.

[Second Class]

Barry,

I'm reminded by your question about the psychological study that allowed a group to electrically shock other people. They found that when anonymity was in place, some were willing to administer lethal amounts of electricity.

 

I think there are some on boards such as this that have that trait; willing and able to lash out because they know there are no repercussions.

 

If we all posted our real name, position, troop or pack number, and then CC'd our wife, pastor, Committee chairman, XO, ASM, etc., 99.9% of the backbiting would stop.

 

To answer your question then, yes, true character comes out when no one is watching, and here, with the veil of anonymity, no one is watching.(This message has been edited by second class)

[packsaddle]

I'm hoping that TRUE 'colors' is exactly what we display for the scouts. Anything else would amount to a deception.

[Beavah]

Yah, there's the old saw about never ascribin' to malice that which can be explained by incompetence.

 

I reckon da corollary is never ascribe to a flaw of character that which has already been thoroughly investigated and explained as a common feature of informal text communications. This stuff has been documented and researched for years, eh?

 

When folks don't have voice inflection and visual cues, any text-only joshing or critique or sarcasm comes across to folks as too harsh. Yeh need the smile and the tone to be able to interpret da author's intent.

 

At the same time, online discussions are a great place for discussions. In discussions, yeh discuss. Yeh josh with folks and critique ideas. Hence, at some point, somethin' is goin' to come across as too harsh to somebody, and they're goin' to react harshly.

 

All communication is contextual.

 

Now, let me demonstrate a bit. Da notion that people show their "true selves" when they are stressed is a load of malarkey. There must be a veritable kiloton of research on da physiology and psychology of stress, and it all shows quite clearly that what da body is doin' physically and hormonally is not normal; what da mind is doin' is not the person's true self. In fact, it's often da opposite of the person's true self. Extroverts when stressed tend to show introverted behaviors, and vice versa.

 

So that notion is just nonsense.

 

Now, Eagledad could choose to read that as a personal attack on his character, and come back at da poor old Beavah with a nasty response. That would in turn surprise the Beavah, who was commenting on an incorrect idea, and has nuthin' but respect for Eagledad. So blindsided by a personal attack, da Beavah could respond in kind.

 

Alternately, Eagledad could choose to imagine all da correct tone and non-verbal queues, and see an old Beavah around the campfire with a smile shakin' his head and sayin' "Nah, what a load of malarkey! Pass me another s'more."

 

There's no failin' of character here. Just a limited communication medium, and perhaps a bit of failure of imagination. It's sometimes hard for us to imagine da other person as a good ol' sort, or imagine da other side of da argument.

 

Anyways, da same stuff happens on forums where real names are used.

 

Beavah

 

[Beavah]

Yah, I had to go back and find da thread this was spun from.

 

Let's be honest, eh? We've all hung out at campfires with folks who've complained about their council in exactly da way BadenP does. At least 2/3 of the time, they actually have a legitimate gripe. Yah, sure, sometimes they hold a grudge for too long, and of course there's a sort of "fish story" that happens when complaining that makes da tale more amusin', even if it makes da problem seem a darn sight bigger than it actually is.

 

I just try to imagine him as one of those folks, eh? Da kind that cares a lot and has been disappointed by da corporate BSA a few times too often, and is frustrated because he cares a lot. That, and a bit of a tendency toward da Fish Story when complainin'.

 

B

 

[SSScout]

 

I once had a boss (I was working as a carpenter's helper) who chastised another man because he didn't put enough nails in a beam. The man said he was told by the BIG boss to economize on nails, not use so many. Our direct boss (an old time hammer and saw carpenter) said that once the walls are up and painted, the only ones who will know how many nails are in the studs and beams will be the fellows who put it up and the fellows who TRY to take it down. He said to NEVER make it easy for the fellows trying to take it down.

 

""The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching." = John Wooden =

[Eagle92]

Sometimes when you are passionate about something, when you have a negative expereince, you can be very negative in regards to those who were part of it.

 

Worse job ever was being a DE. My SE and DFS didn't live up to the ideals of scouting, and encouraged very questionable practices. If you didn't play along, they made your life hell. Won't go into details, but trust me on it. Let's just say you know a situation is bad when 12 DEs and 2 mid-level execs (FD and FiD)quit in the 2 years you are associated with the council.

 

Do I let these feeling out, no. they don't need that.

 

Do I talk about it to my friends, yes.

 

Did I type a 4 page, single spaced letter to the chairman of the scout executive about my experiences with the DFS when I heard that he was looking to move back to the council, as well as have a 45 minute meeting with him. HECK YES!.

[JMHawkins]

So, I do use my real name on here, and I try to write posts with the idea that the parents of Scouts in my unit(s) will read them. Now, like Beavah said, without the intonations and body language of an in-person converstaion, sometimes it's difficult to get the words across with the right tone. For writing to do that generally requires more words, and I'm long-winded enough as it is. You folks don't get college credit for reading my posts so I should keep them shorter than the Great Russians... Well, at any rate I suspect I often come across harsher than I intend, but there it is.

 

One thing I've learned from a career marinated in email, computer security, and DOJ anti-trust litigation is to assume anything you write will be brought up out of context by someone of questionable morals trying to score points with someone else by making you look bad. After a while you get used to it and write only what you really believe, because that's the only thing worth getting raked over the coals for if it ever comes to that.

 

 

[packsaddle]

It takes two to have an interaction like this. The 'tone' is as much a function of the mindset of the reader as it is the way the writer pens his words. The 'chip' could be just as much of a fixture of a reader's shoulder as that of the writer. To some extent it works the same way in person with actual spoken words too. Me...I just try to be ready to run fast if I'm in yankee land. But here in the South, I have to be really careful....EVERYBODY has a gun!

[ntrog8r]

I think our Scouts are pretty perceptive. If we are bitter, angry, resentful, cheerful (mostly), helpful, kind, courteous, mean, giving, or selfish - they see it. They aren't often fooled, at least for very long, by posturing. Then again, everyone has a bad day - or a button that can be pushed. Even Jesus once made a whip (demonstrating knot tying, braiding, and maybe even splicing) and whacked some folks with it...

 

Almost all the posts here seem to be written by Scouters wanting to help other Scouters. There are some posts that appear (to me) to get away from the question but folks see things based on their own local/unit issues and problems that I might not see.

 

 

 

 

[Basementdweller]

Ya I am here same as in the real world.

 

But in my world adults don't buy dog sleds for webelos for a Klondike derby. A strong sense of community and service. Our troop is active to the point that one and done is never an issue as is short cutting requirements.

 

Many here believe the human animal is basically good and benevolent in nature. I have seen and experienced too much to believe that, even from scouters who are of higher moral fiber and have a higher sense of community and social responsibility.

 

How about the fellow to spun a story about not getting his eagle and how he felt inferior because of it... How he deserved to have it awarded as an adult.

 

So I am at this year's recharter breakfast... Just chatting with some folks, one SM looking for a community service project.... I suggest our CO food pantry. The regional food pantry box truck delivers to us Thursday evening at 5:45, and I suggested that his troop could come down and help unload the truck and stock the shelves at the pantry or Saturday and help folks load their cars.......

 

His expression was priceless... Oh no that wasn't what he had in mind. He wanted to volunteer at Zoo or Science museums. My personal favorite was he counted ushering at the local college football games as service hours. So they so the wealthy alumni to their seats and take pictures to them.

 

We have done it..... But I view it as just getting into the game free and not community service.

 

 

 

 

 

[Eagle732]

"I see it on other forums as well, folks don't even try to hold back. But they aren't scout leaders either. They don't have the scout law."

 

Some here are not Scouters. Then there are those that post mainly in the Issues and Politics forum that seem like they only want to bust on BSA over their policies.