Eastern Mysticism

[SSScout]

There once was an Hindu Holy man. He was famous for his mastery of yoga and other esoteric spiritual practices. However, as with all flesh, he had a few, shall we say, weaknesses. For one, he loved Italian food. Especially garlic stuff. The garlic was never strong enough for him. Also, he found marathon running to be an excellent mental discipline. He could peel off 20 or 30 kilometers every day without a problem. Wore out many pairs of shoes. Developed prodigeous blisters. Of course, he had no problem "carbo" loading. Just more garlicy Italian food. But as is true with many such Yogis, his hygiene was not the best. Never brushed his teeth . So his breath was really outstanding, in the bad sense of the term. And so his health declined from poor nutrition and poor hygiene. In fact, the University of Hyderabad used him as a study piece. They found him to be an excellent example of a superbly calloused fragile mystic expert in halitosis.

 

[allangr1024]

Can you hear the scouts say in unison: "GROAN!!!"

[OldGreyEagle]

Thats assuming any of them will admit to seeing Mary Poppins in the first place.

 

A more scouting related story

 

Two Eskimos sitting in a their boat were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

[frank10]

here's two:

 

Team Work

The loaded van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Eight *Scouts* leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tents.

Some of the boys rushed to gather firewood, while the others set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the Scoutmaster, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork!"

The Scoutmaster replied, "I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

 

 

 

Tate Compass Co.

There was once a couple named Nancy & Mike Tate, and it was their life' s dream to have a compass company. They finally saved enough money and started the Tate's Compass Company. Luck was with them, for the first contract they acquired was to manufacture 750,000 compasses for the Boy Scouts. Nancy and Mike worked feverishly day and night to meet their deadline, & finished just before the Boy Scout Jamboree was to begin.

On the day of the Scout Wilderness hike, each boy scout was given a Tate's Compass to help them find their way. Unfortunately, it was discovered too late that every single compass was made with the colored point of the needle facing the wrong way,so when one was facing North, the needle pointed to the South. Needless to say, all of the boy scouts got lost & it was the biggest fiasco known in Boy Scout history. The Tate's compass company went out of business, but from this experience came the familiar adage...

"He who has a Tate's is lost." (Say it out loud).

[OldGreyEagle]

Then there was the scoutmaster who wanted to have his wisdom teeth removed without the use of Novacaine. Seems he wanted to see if he could transcend dental medication

[jr56]

Groan..........

[LongHaul]

Groan yes but the louder the groan the more times it will be repeated.

LongHaul

[OldGreyEagle]

Then there is the story of the Arts and Hobbies Crew that specialized in Chess Tournaments, they placed First, Second and Third once. The tournament had been held in a Hotel and the Crew members were boisterously recounting each game in the Lobby until the concierge threw them out.

 

Seems the Hotel had a strict policy against Chest nuts boasting in an open Foyer(This message has been edited by OldGreyEagle)

[Ohio_Scouter]

Eastern Mysticism...

 

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

 

[Ohio_Scouter]

Eastern Mysticism...

 

A buddhist asks a hot dog vendor for his change, and the vendor replies 'change comes from within'.

 

[Ohio_Scouter]

Twin brothers, one named Emal and the other Juan, grew up and moved out of the country. A year later, their mother receives from Juan a letter and picture of himself. His mother sighs and mentions she wishes she had a picture from Emal as well. 'Why,' replies her husband, 'if you've seen Juan, you've seen Emal.'

 

 

[Kudu]

I wonder why none of you have trivialized Jesus.

 

A Scout is Reverent.

 

 

[Gold Winger]

Okay, you asked for it.

 

An angry crowd is about to stone a prostitute when Jesus intercedes. "Let those without sin cast the first stone!" he cries. A rock sails out of the crowd and smacks the tarnished woman in the head. Christ looks out at the crowd and says, "Mother, I asked you not to come when I'm speaking!"

[Ohio_Scouter]

So, Kudu, how does trivializing Jesus show reverence?

[OldGreyEagle]

So then there was the Journalism Post that decided to enter a Pun writing contest, they spent a week comming up with new and original puns. They finally submitted the top ten best puns they could think of, Unfortunately, the Post did not place in the competition, they thought they might have a chance to merit at least an honorable mention, but no pun in ten did.

 

I was doing a little home repair this past week end. Redoing a bathroom and I had to caulk the bath tub. The directions call for a smooth bead of calk between the wall and tub, I did a portion and asked my fellow co-worker if he thought it was a good bead, he said it looked to be a great bead, so I HAD to ask him if he thought it was a venerable bead.