Time management

[pack330]

How much time should we ask from our parents and Cub Scouts for Scouting? I was at a soccer practice last night and a parent of one of my Cub Scouts told me that she wasn't too sure how much she wanted her two boys to participate in Scouting because of all they do in other areas. I pointed out to her that she was having them spend about 9 - 10 hours each week on soccer this season alone. Her one son is in a den that meets once a month and is sent home with a assignment and then he attends the pack meeting for a hour each month. I figured that he spends a total of 5 hours a month doing Scouting. If you figure that out for a whole school year is averages out to the same as one small season of socceer. That doesn't include baseball, Larosse seasons, etc. Why is it that something that builds some many different characters in our sons isn't that important? I'm needing a boost in my Scout spirit right now and this is the time that I need to be the most inspired during recuitment season. HELP!!!

[Laurie]

I'm not sure about the time issue, but encourage the parent in this area: much of what her son does in school and in soccer will earn him advancements and/or acheivements. If he has done something in a sport, school activity, church activity, count it again for Cubs. Just don't count one activity for different Cub advancements. I was suprised to learn recently that many of the parents in our pack don't know how to use the handbook, or even know that it's important. We have not even had our roundup yet, but I've had three meetings with den leaders and parents to address the use of the handbook. And the only reason I understand it is that I read it through several times, for I wanted to know what my boys were getting into The den leaders and families were relieved and excited to hear that school, sports, church all counted--and they in turn got their boys excited. Somehow it is less daunting. Though I find the books to all be very doable, I have learned that not all do. Good luck!

 

p.s. One more thing: If you and the leaders are stresed, it will show and will lead to stressed families. That was my intro to Cubs last year..sigh... Anyway, in getting to know the leaders and the program, and in helping my sons out at home, I just fell in love with the program. I got really excited to see my sons earn advancements. I am really excited to help other boys do this too, and in talking with some of the den leaders, they asked me WHAT I liked so much. That led to me being asked to give a talk of sorts to our second-year Webelos, and in less than 5 minutes of my explaining the Arrow of Light, every boy left the meeting with questions, big smiles, and an eagerness to tackle his books. The moral of the story: be enthusiastic and let it show while also showing how doable the program is.(This message has been edited by Laurie)

[OldGreyEagle]

I think part of the problem is the length of the time committment of Cub and Boy Scouts. A Soccer season is just that, a season, a couple months of high intensity activity, scouting is a year (well almost for some cub packs) long acivity. And while some advancement in Cubs is age based, many other recognitions are merit based. In Boy Scouts all advancement is merit based, if you dont do it, you get left behing, not so in sports where age groups advance automatically. Scouting is a marathon, its not a sprint, thats what makes it the program it is.

 

Now, I see the above as strengths of the scouting program, an antidote to the instant gratification generation, you cant earn all the belt loops in a month, you cant do Eagle in a year, it takes time and a dedication to a goal that is seeminly far off. Thats why Eagle is regarded highly, it shows the ability to set a long term goal and achieve it, something very difficult for todays adolescents.

 

To ease the situation pack330 is talking about, the families need to be oriented to the program when they join. Scouting isnt just a couple hours and month and a week during the summer. That may be the physical time committement, but the scotuing program is the effects on family life and the youth's charactor development and self image. And that takes time, which may be a concept not readily grasped in the beginning.

 

Lastly, Sports Leagues tend to be very well organized and parents know I drop off at 6:30 and pick ip at 8 and all is taken care of. In Scouting, since we go year round, we just might ask you to help us out at times, something a sports league doesnt do, or if it does, the parent knows the season will be over in a few months while there is no end to the scouting trail

 

Anyway, just a few thoughts

[pack330]

OldGreyEagle, I totally agree with what you are saying but these parents they put their sons in Scouting,sports, music, and religion classes and then act like Scouting is taking up most of their time. This community that we live in isn't into leaving their child at a activity, they stay. I can't seem to get across to them what Scouting is all about. I come across like I'm the only one who likes the program and its my whole life. I also do sports, PTO, full-time job, three children, husband, and we are building a new house, and we are going to add to our family soon. I am very busy outside of Scouting and it is go frustrating to be the only one cheering for the Cub Scouts. I am very good about understanding when a parent can't commit to a job like den leader and try to make them feel better about their discision. I can't stop asking parents for help or I will be running the program myself. How do you get around these parents who act like Scouting is too much for their child even when the boys tell their parents that they love Scouting and don't want to stop?

[jbroganjr]

Tackle it head on. Recognize the importance of the other activities then spring it this way.

With sports, you're on the sidelines, Music, you're writing a check and listening to practice, BUT with Scouts You are involved with your son. Your participation is up to you, but you will be involved, your entire family can be involved. What may seem like regimented chaos is in fact a busy, hands on fun activity that will leave more of a mark on your son than all the other. Don't you want your son to be able to make moral and ethical decisions? Don't you want your son to learn team work, leadership? Don't you want your son to be part of a world wide movement.

Down the line, from the journey of cubscouts, even more opportunities abound for scouting youth, from Jamborees to High adventure activities to eagle scout scholarships.

Every year scouts from across the nation get to meet the president of the US, How many community soccer players do?

I would further emphasize that time management is just that. We always find the time to do the things we like. Is there a reason you don't like scouts, then listen and try to help.

As for burnout, remember why you are there. And unfortunately, scouting is not for everyone, but for who scouting is, including you, it should be fun.

Good Luck

[KoreaScouter]

You asked how much time we should ask from the parents? The answer to that is simple: as much time as you need to deliver the program. They won't all respond, but enough will to get the job done.

 

Being a volunteer in anything can be very frustrating. It doesn't matter what I've done, whether coaching football, teaching martial arts, music, you name it. If there are parents and children involved, their interest and reasons for participating will run on a wide continuum. Some will always be there and do whatever's needed, often without having to be asked. At the other extreme, you're not sure some of those kids even have parents, 'cuz you've never seen them. I wouldn't agonize over the ones who won't help, since it won't change anything. Just be grateful for the ones who do. It's a widely held belief that 20% of the people do 80% of the work, in any setting -- Scouting's no different. If it's any consolation, coaches, music teachers, and other youth activity volunteers complain about the same things we do -- go figure.

 

KS

[evmori]

I like what Korea posted. If one volunteers for something then that volunteer should be expected to give the amount of time necessary for success of what they volunteered for!

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[CharityAK]

I totally understand your frustration. Our troop does not have as much parental support as I think it should have either. And I observe fairly frequently what I consider to be bad parental choices.

 

However...I am a total believer in parental authority. Unless the parent is being abusive, they have the right to make the parenting calls in their child's life - even if I think their decision and reasoning behind it is lame.

 

My husband and I are totally dedicated to our children's welfare. We carefully think through each decision we make on their behalf. We know our child better than anyone else does. We know their strengths and their weaknesses. We have a better idea than anyone else what their future most likely holds for them. Therefore we are best equipped to make the calls as to how they use their time now to prepare for their future. Therefore...if someone else gave me a hassle about the decisions we made for our child, they would most likely be told what they could do with their decision - nicely, of course.

 

So...I can relate to your frustration. I've had the same. I see parents making decisions that I think are totally stupid. However...I would never say anything to them because I believe THEY are better qualified than I to make that decision and they are the ones who have been given the authority and responsibility to make that decision. If it was I, I'd keep my disappointment to myself and look elsewhere to build the troop.

 

Charity

Advancement Officer/Treasurer/Scout Parent

[Twocubdad]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the original post had to do more with parents not making time for THEIR kid to participate in Scouting than it did with them taking time to volunteer to help with in a leadership position. Not that getting parents to volunteer isn't a problem, but we've chewed on that one before.

 

We've touched on this before, too, but it doesn't seem to me that many families make commitments the way they used to. The old "we did Scouts this year, we think we'll do martial arts this year" routine. Or maybe we just didn't have all the choices years ago. It is amazing to me the kids who play three or four sports, have music, church, martial arts and Scouts -- of course they don't have much time. And the ones that really baffle me are the ones who play two ball teams at the same time!

 

Since school was out in June, I've had three parents tell me that their son wasn't going to "do" Scouts this fall because they just don't have time. In two of the cases, the parent made the point that the boy really enjoyed Scouting and wanting to continue, but "something has to give." The other thing that was interesting was that in all three cases, the son in the pack is the youngest of three boy, the two older ones having graduated the pack and (to my knowledge) still active in Boy Scouts.

 

It occurs to me that the parents are the ones burned out on Cubs. I have to admit I'm not really looking forward to building -- helping to build, helping to build -- our family's 7th and 8th Pinewood Derby cars later this year. Been there, done that, got the patch. But we'll do it, expecially with my younger boy who is two cars behind his older brother.

 

I honestly don't know what to say to these folks and am somewhat burned-out myself on trying to deal with these parents. Personally, I think it really stinks that the parent won't support their younger boy, but it's not my place to say that. I find it very frustrating that we are loosing good, active Scout like this.

 

[pack330]

I wasn't going to say anything about how the subject got changed but twocubdad is right. I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this problem. Why is it that Scouting is the first thing to go? I have tried to get across to these parents that Scouting is a small part of the big picture, that their child can do sports, etc. and still do Scouts. I have sat down with these families and talked about the belt loops, etc. also but they don't see Scouts as a very important part of their child's life. How do we change how we get across to these parents? I'm more interested in having a smaller Pack/Troop then having these parents who bring down all my leaders and myself. What is really sad is I'm the distruit chairperson for memebership. If I'm not doing well then who is? Does the whole country have the same problem? Just a thought or two.

[CharityAK]

Perhaps I'm not understanding pack's question... Le me rephrase what I thought she was saying. Perhaps I misunderstood?

 

Pack is frustrated with parents who have their kids in so many different activities that they (the kids? the parents? both?) are unable to give the necessary time to Scouting. Pack thinks the parents have misplaced priorities in that they are willing to be involved in sports, but not scouting. Pack wants to know how to get parents to value scouting more than they currently do.

 

Is that correct? If I misunderstood, please correct me.

 

If I understood correctly, then what I was trying to say is that I wouldn't try to change the parent's mind - even if I thought they were making a stupid decision. And the reason is because I believe that is their call to make and I wouldn't see it as my place to try to influence the parent around to my way of thinking. If the parent thinks soccer is more important than scouting, I would support the parent's decision - even though I happen to think soccer is a waste of time.

 

Not sure that parents with misplaced values (producing a SuperChild is more important than the type of ideals, values and principles instilled by scouting) would be that valuable an addition anyway... I think I'd move on. In recruiting I'd continue to emphasize scouting values and the character development that occurs (see my post When It Works for a testimonial to the value of scouting) and trust that that message would attract the type of parents you're hoping for. They're out there. It's just that you get about 10 Soccer-Moms-Involvement-Flavor-Of-The-Month types for every 1 really great old-fashioned salt of the earth parent. *g*

 

Charity

[Laurie]

Why is Scouting the first to go? Good question. Maybe part is that comparatively speaking, the cost is less. Here it is. When a parent pays 2-3 times as much for a sport that lasts only a season, that child WILL BE at that sporting event. The same goes with music lessons. We pay more for piano for one child in one month than we do for Cubs all year. Part of the problem is something that just won't go away: that which we've sunk money into often comes first. And parents are burned out--good point twocubdad. I'm always surprised at that, especially for those who have school and Cubs only as what they are involved in. I have even had parents ask me if this is ALL I have to do. Well, no, just a tiny part of what I do, but it's a priority in my son's life; therefore a priority in mine. As I get to know other parents, some of the complaints given have been: we get so little for our money, I don't have time, and then in the next breath, but I don't think this leader is doing enough, and then, when they get real honest, I have no clue what Cubs is. Now that last one: our pack has had to address this. What an amazing thing it is to see the excitement in both the parents and the boys when they realize WHAT Cubs is. Sell the program all you can. Talk one on one as much as possible, or in small groups. Share the positive stories taking place in the dens/pack meetings. Do you want some? I am happy to share We have boys who struggle in almost every other area, but in the Cub program, they are set up to succeed. And it works, building confidence as well as character. It overflows into the school setting, the family, the neighborhood. Hopping off my soapbox now--this is a tough area to me too. You are not alone in it.

[CubsRgr8]

I think parents who choose to pull their sons out of Cub Scouting just are unaware of what their son is going to miss. That's why it's so important for all new parents to attend School Night For Scouting. While the ACM leads the boys in a game or two, the parents need to hear the following from the pack leadership.

 

1) Cub Scouting reinforces values - general values as found in the Cub Scout Promise and Law of the Pack; specific values as laid in in Character Connections.

2) Cub Scouting strengthens family bonds - it's a program where boys and their parents work together on projects and advancement requirements.

3) Cub Scouting offers a place where neither brains nor brawn are necessary for success - only the will to do your best.

4) Cub Scouting provides boys a fun forum where it's okay to be boys - loud, enthusiastic, running-around, groaner-joke-telling boys!

 

Can you tell we talked about just this topic last night at our leaders' meeting?

 

People (and parents are people, too!) make time for what they consider important. Make sure the parents in your community know why Cub Scouting is important.

[acco40]

Scouts may require parental effort. Sending a child t o soccer practice does not. Enough said.

[Twocubdad]

That's terrific, Cubs. I'm definitely going to use that. I try to include the aims, methods and values into a lot of my talks, but your list slices the loaf in a different direction that is probably more meaningful to the parents. Very good.