Dealing with a Pregnant Crewmember

[desertrat77]

The young lady probably needs the structure and positive influence of scouting now more than ever.

[qwazse]

True, DR, but most officers (regardless of what they say) want to be held to a higher standard.

Like everyone said, the young lady will be lucky if she has time for venturing. But, one of my daughter's soccer teammates really wanted to be part of her team even after she got pregnant, so her and her mom tried to make it to every game (as spectators, she missed too much of the season with the baby due right in the middle of it). Then in the winter she was back on the court.

 

Point is: if it's a priority with the youth and her parents, they'll find a way. It then boils down to the officers, the CO, and the advisor deciding if they'll find a way. Parents wanting it to be otherwise are welcome to start their own crew.

 

And, yes, the advisor might have to get acquainted with the baby's father and figure out where he stands in all of this. But in our society in this day and age, it's usually up to the parents.

[OldGreyEagle]

"A Brief Morality Play"

(the scene opens at the Crew's Open House, the Advisor of the Crew is explaining to the Parents what Venturing is about)

Advisor: While the youth are in the other room getting to know the Crew, I wanted to let you parents know that Venturing is part of the BSA and that the Mission of the BSA isto prepare young people to make ethical choices over their lifetime by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Law." From our leadership training I can tell you the primary purpose is forming responsible and caring adults. The Crew has a set of By-Laws governing behavior and the youth themselves adjudicate disgressions. The Ages of Venturers is from 14-21, the younger youth have the older ones as role models.

Oh, ignore that crying baby, the 16 year old non-married mother is one of our Vice-Presidents and she brings him to all the activities, the kids love having him around...

Fade to Black

If the above will float in your community, then keep her around for as much as she can do. However, I have always thought I was in a pretty open community and the giant sucking sound I would hear would be parents grabbing youth and departing max snell and post haste

 

 

[SeattlePioneer]

What ABOUT that crying baby?

 

 

How might a new mom be expected to participate in the Venturing program?

 

By the time the Venturer aged out of the program she would be ready to be a Tiger Cub Den Leader!

 

 

[SeattlePioneer]

Another interesting issue to consider:

 

 

Pregnant Venturer is informed she will be suspended because of her pregnancy.

 

 

The next week she returns, asking that the suspension be lifted since she is no longer pregnant.

 

 

 

 

[Basementdweller]

Seattle, I appreciate the point you are bringing, with the last post.

 

I am going to bet, that a young lady who chooses abortion would not broad cast she is pregnant. For her it is a shameful mistake/accident.

 

The girl who is telling everyone she is pregnant has already decided she is going to carry to term and try to raise it herself.

 

 

Remove the CO's stand on abortion, The discussion on the Venture and boy scout oath and law would be interesting in relation to it. I imagine the argument will center around when life actually begins.

 

I would hope my children would chose life.

 

I enjoy a good discussion

[qwazse]

OGE: I so wish I could have that conversation with every parent. More often than not, parents foolishly listen to their kids when told to just drop them off. (Needless to say, the ones who stick around for the "open house lecture" are the ones who keep bringing their kids back.)

 

But, our community is rife with gossip. There doesn't need to be a baby in the background for any parent to know my youth have baggage. I'd almost prefer that something as glaring as a baby would appear for every youth's misdeed. All the cards would be on the table when mom or dad signs the registration form.

 

So, yeah, if the CO insists that we go gently with a young lady (as I think it would), and the crew instists that they'd rather manage the hassles involved in keeping the new mom in ... then I'd probably volunteer to watch the VP's baby while I introduce the program to any parents who care to listen. (Always had a soft spot for the little crumbsuckers.)

 

The sucking sound of departing parents who think their Johnny or Janey was too good for my crew would be music to my ears. Why? Because the parents who do stick around are the ones who will get us throught tough times.

[OldGreyEagle]

Awhile back I attended the Winter Kick-Off of sports at my son's High School. The basketball team, both boys and girls, the swim team, the wrestling team, the volleyball team, the rifle team (my son was on it)and I think thats it. Then they introduced the Cheerleaders. The senior Co-Captains were introduced last the loudest applause was for the Senior Cheerleader who came out holding a 3-4 month infant in her arms both dressed in a Cheerleader outfit. The Students cheered wildly, I noticed the parents not so much. I learned the baby was the cheerleaders and she was back in school with the baby watched over by a combination Grandparents Home Ec, etc.

 

In one regard I thought it was pretty nice the student was able to finish High School and still be a Cheerleader, but then I thought about all the Freshmen, Sophamore and Junior girls who weer there. How many would see the reaction of the crowd and think "Boy, if I had a baby I would be as popular as she is!"

Or

"My parents tell me sex before marriage is wrong, but look at the fun she is having, my parents are just getting in the way of me having a good time"

 

I don't want to have people turn their backs on a youth who needs help. Well, 2 youths who need help but I also struggle about making this the center of attention and celebration to the point others want to join in on the fun as well

[Horizon]

My son attends a private Catholic school. I think that their policy regarding pregnancy is a good model to review.

 

"Pregnancy

A primary purpose of Catholic education is to guide students growth in Christian values and moral conduct. Catholic teaching stresses that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and that the sanctity of family life is enhanced through a fulfillment of Gods plan expressed by a loving and permanent commitment. Premarital sexual activity is contrary to these values; however, when a pregnancy occurs outside of marriage, the total school community must offer support to the pregnant student and/or the student father so that the pregnancy can be brought to term. The reality of the situation, in all its dimensions, is to be treated in a Christian and humane manner.

Students involved with a pregnancy have new obligations and priorities. They have accepted the responsibility of bringing a new human life into the world. Such responsibility necessitates a change in status, especially in terms of activities and priorities in the school. The pregnant student should care for herself as a mother-to-be, and the father-to-be should respond with care and support for the mother and child. To ensure the best interests of the student(s), parents and the school community, the school administrators will implement certain procedures in such cases. When school personnel learn of a student pregnancy, the Principal and Rector will meet with the pregnant student and her parents and/or guardians to determine such procedures. The student will be required by the school to receive appropriate professional counseling consistent with Catholic teaching to assist with the circumstances of the pregnancy and with making choices for the future of both parents and the newborn child. Additionally, the student will be referred to her pastor for advice and counseling.

If the father-to-be is identified and if he is a student at [school], the Principal and Rector will meet with him and his parents and/or guardians and require that he be involved in a counseling program similar to that provided for the mother-to-be. He also will be referred to his pastor for advice and counseling.

The school will assist the pregnant student to complete her high school education, either by allowing her to continue attendance or by referring her to an alternate program recommended by Catholic Social Services.

If the pregnant student chooses to remain at [school], she will be allowed to participate in all activities to the extent that her condition and the good of the school may permit. The student must provide the school with a statement from her physician approving her participation in all school or extra-curricular activities. The Principal and Rector in consultation with the school board will review all aspects of each case and make a determination based upon its unique circumstances.

If the student desires to return to [school] after the birth of the child, the school will facilitate her re-enrollment. The condition of pregnancy will not exclude the student from participating in the public graduation ceremony; however, the Principal and Rector in consultation with the school board will determine whether or not special circumstances may necessitate pursuing alternative action.

The school retains the right and the responsibility to promulgate and enforce disciplinary measures, including expulsion, for public and overt breaches of Catholic moral teaching."

[CalicoPenn]

In the spirit of Seattle's positing a scenario where a crew member is pregnant one week and not the next, I have another scenario to ponder:

 

16-year old female crew member shows up pregnant one week and is booted out.

 

What do you do when a 19-year old female crew member shows up pregnant?

 

[SeattlePioneer]

Horizon,

 

 

Very interesting and thoughful policy. Thanks for posting it.

[Beavah]

What do you do when a 19-year old female crew member shows up pregnant?

 

And is married .

 

I think Horizon's post reflects my views pretty well (there I go, jumpin' into bed with da darn Catholics again ). Yeh balance things for da circumstances, but act with compassion toward those who recognize and are taking responsibility for the consequences of their choices. And when a young person is truly in need of help and support, yeh don't shun her or separate her from da community that can provide that support.

 

Beavah

 

[Basementdweller]

Married youth crew couple.....I guess it becomes irrelevant.

 

 

So can that married youth couple share a tent on an outing????

 

I am ok with it, but they will need to tent in the adult married couples area

[Eagle92]

G2SS doesn't really cover married youth now does it. By the book, they sleep in separate areas. Me personally I have no problem with it, BUT I can tell you from a similar expereince that folks will look at ya funny. True story a week after I got married I was sent to summer camp (don't ask still ticks me off thinking about it). Wife, who was 21, came to visit me, and one of the vacant offices/sleeping quarters rooms was vacant. So we shared the room. Wake up the next morning, and while leaving the room several leaders noticed us leaving and were not happy about it. Luckily the CD handled it when they complained to him about us staying in the say room.

[BDPT00]

Leaning in from the right with a comment...

Let's assume the girl is not in a crew, but the 16 year old father-to-be is. Would we be having this same discussion?

There are far too many "what if" questions. I enjoy them, but it puts us in the judgement seat . . . not a really good place to be. We don't know anyone's attitued here (does that matter?), and we know nothing about the before, during, and after part of this pregnancy (does that matter?). We're guessing.

Try this "what if" on: Suppose a 19 and 20 year old couple gets married. What are the sleeping arrangements before and after one of them turns 21? Can a brother and sister sleep together? Mother and son? If a father and son can share a tent, can a father and daughter do so as well? We can go on forever with stories we hope never happen in our own crew. I do happen to enjoy the thoughts involved, but I'd hesitate to sit in judgement over a young girl who may need her friends to lean on. As conservative as I am, and knowing nothing else, I stand with the girl.

BDPT00