Banning adults from meetings

[CNYScouter]

Up until the last couple of meetings the few parents that have stayed at Ship meetings have pretty much sat in the background and keep comments to a minimum.

 

I now have a mom, whose child has been in the Ship since the start, has been interrupting and is questioning everything.

 

After the first time she did this she was told that if she had any questions or issues to talk with me in private but did it again at the next meeting.

 

During Venturing Leader training it was suggested to ban adults from Ship/Crew meetings and have them meet in other room.

 

This parents interruptions are beginning to effect ship operations and not having them in the same room would be a start.

There are other issues going on with this parent which I will try to do another post about later.

 

What wasnt made clear if this included myself (as Skipper) and Mates or just parents?

 

[Eamonn]

"During Venturing Leader training it was suggested to ban adults from Ship/Crew meetings and have them meet in other room."

I'm thinking this did come from the Scouts?

 

To be honest I'm not sure how I'd deal with this.

On one hand it's great that the Ship is thinking!!

It's a little sad that the time to deal with it was when it was first brought up and of course now that time has past.

I'd hate to go against something that has come from the Quarterdeck.

Maybe at the next QD meeting you can have the Boatswain make this an agenda item? Once it comes up you can find out what they really want or mean.

 

I do think that hard as it might be it is up to you to deal with this parent.

She needs to know what she can and can't do.

You might have to talk very slowly and use small words, but the message does have to get delivered.

If you fail? Then it's time to get the Ship's Committee involved and have them deal with her.. In fact you might want to bring the matter to the Ship's Committee before you talk to her.

I don't have a problem with allowing the Scouts to have part of the meeting without adults being present, but I'm not sure how this goes along with us (The BSA) not having any secret meetings or ceremonies? Or parents being welcome to attend?

You and the Ship might be on thin ice?

A total and complete ban on having any adults at all the meetings of course is not going to work and having a rule banning them is never going to work, so making the rule is a waste of everyones time.

In the end the Scouts will see a rule that they made not being enforced and maybe will get the idea that "Their" rules don't count. Which of course is a bad thing.

Eamonn.

 

[Bob White]

I would calmly explain to the parent that at this level of Scouting parent interuptions are damaging to the youth leadership process and that since you have asked her to stop interrupting and she has been unable to comply that she will need to find other things to do in another location during the meetings. But I would also tell that to all the parents, there is not purpose to having parents at a Sea Scout or Venturing meeting, unless it is a formal awards presentation or a family event.

[Gold Winger]

For that matter, there is really no need to have parents hang around during a Boy Scout meeting or a den meeting.

[OldGreyEagle]

Then there is that National guideline about nothing being closed in scouting and that every event is open to everyone.

 

Then again, you may be tempted to do a Bobby Seale on the mom

[Gold Winger]

Just because I can, doesn't mean that I should.

[Oak Tree]

Yes, you can't actually completely ban parents. But you can certainly act as if they are banned, by having a separate parents' meeting in the next room. And you could actually tell her that parents are not allowed to talk during the meeting. You can decide for yourself if it should include Skipper and Mates - but I would normally say no, that you are part of the registered leadership and would expect to be there. I would sit down with her privately and tell her what the deal is.

[nldscout]

You can ban a parent from being in the room where the youth meet. We Ban or block parents from attending lots of things. Philmont, Seabase, Northern Tier, even Troop of Crew activities that require a certain level of training or qualifications.

 

You simply tell all the "Parents" that they are welcome to gather in the adjoining room where they can talk, gab, read or snooze as they see fit, but not in the youth meeting room. If a "Parent" chooses to not want to follow the rule, then tell them, thanks for comming, have a nice life, and oh by the way your son or daughter needs to leave with you.

 

I am betting the son or daughter will tell Mom or Dad to stay home so they can attend.

 

 

[Oak Tree]

nldscout, you can in practice tell the parents that they are banned, but you can't actually do that within the BSA guidelines.

 

All aspects of the Scouting program are open to observation by parents and leaders.

 

from the G2SS

[Bob White]

Free to observe does not mean free to interrupt.

[evmori]

Right on the money, Bob!

[nldscout]

Oak Tree,

 

I have to disagree with you. Your reading too much into what the G2SS says. Do parents get to "Observe" at the NSJ anytime they want? NO! Do they get to Observe on a Canoe Trip the Crew or Troop is doing if they can't Swim, NO!

 

There are lots of examples of this. Parents aren't allowed at PLC's or Crew leadership planning meetings.

 

Like I said Tell the Parents the where the parents sit and if she doesn't like it she can take her venturer and leave. Be sure you say " Have a Nice Day" on the way out.

[Oak Tree]

nldscout,

 

You can of course interpret the guidelines according to your best understanding. I have not been to the National Scout Jamboree and don't know what their requirements are.

 

I would agree that you can ban parents who can't swim from coming canoeing with you. But I do not believe the rule would allow you to ban parents who can swim. The spirit of the rule, as I understand it, is to make sure there is no perception that we do anything secret at any of our meetings. In my mind, this would explicitly mean that parents are indeed required to be allowed to observe a PLC. I may make a rule that they cannot speak, but I would feel it to be inappropriate to ban them from observing.

 

The quote comes directly from the G2SS, and I think it's a good one, especially for dispelling some of the concern around OA. I'm only interpreting it in the way that makes the most sense to me, and when they say that "all aspects of the Scouting program are open", then I presume that they really mean all aspects. That would include things like PLC, OA, water outings, summer camp, etc. I'd apply some judgement as to when a particular trip might require advanced notice, or specific skills or fitness levels, or even limiting based on numbers.

[nldscout]

Observing does not mean you have to be present in the room where the youth are running a meeting.

[evmori]

Yeah open to observation. That doesn't mean participation. Sure they can watch all they want. But there is nothing that states they must or may participate.

 

Ed Mori

1 Peter 4:10