Crew decisions

[kahits]

Our crew had decided to do a trek at Double H HAB at the end of the summer. They are planning to use the next 3 months to prepare for the 50 mile trek. They will have the required male and female advisors, to go with the 6-8 crew members (2-3 females and the rest males). One of the mothers who has elected to sign on as crew committee is wanting to go, but is not a very strong backpacker (Over 40 but not overweight). Her 14 year old son has struggled thru her mothering since he joined the brother troop, for the past 3-4 years, and does not want her to be on this trek. In talking with the base director, there is nothing that will prevent her from going, on paper, but as the crew advisor, I think this should be up to the crew to ultimately decide. Since they have the required advisors to complete the trek, I just thought I would pose this question, so it can be handled in a proper way. I talked with a scouter friend, who's sons are in the same brother troop, about it, and she is going to try and talk to her about it, but this should not be the issue. The youth is the focus and how to best get her to decide not to go for their sake is the question. Can the crew youth just bring it to a vote and have it decided in that way, if she can't come to terms?

[scoutldr]

This sounds like a mother-son issue that I would not want to be in the middle of. If she is a registered leader, I don't see how the crew can "vote" to make her stay home, while allowing others to go. A tactful, friendly conversation with another adult may help, but if she insists on going and is willing to pull her own weight, I don't see a way out.

[OldGreyEagle]

Since its the son that has issues with it, the son should be the one who tells mom to stay home, that way it stays in the family and keeps the crew out of where it has no place being ( in the middle of a family)

[nldscout]

I agree with OGE, the son needs to buck up and tell mom he wants to go without her.

 

But in the same breath I think the crew also has a say in who can go on trips like this

[John-in-KC]

Spending time with one of the PTC Chaplains a few years back,

 

He observed that a Philmont Expedition Crew of 12 is a different beast than a Venturing Crew as a chartered organization.

 

The folks going out on an expedition need to know and respect each other before they take to the trail. Otherwise, there's going to be some rough times on the trail.

 

Sounds to me like it is time for some heart-heart conversation among those who will be sharing the GPS at Double H.

[kahits]

Thank you all very much. I think I neglected to punch the reply notification button on this post. The crew did have a shakedown trek over the weekend that covered about 15 miles from Saturday to this morning. Both of the parents of this boy came along, with the father (who is divorced from the mother) stepping up, last week, to fill out an application as an associate advisor for the crew, when we found out our primary, male associate advisor was not going to be able to get off work for the weekend. It was interesting that he never made this leap for the 5 years his son was in the troop of the same number, which put a few people off from the troop side, but the crew was glad to have him there. He is a very healthy dad, who you would not even guess was close to the age of 60. I think his mom came along to try and promote her proposition to join the crew at the end of July, but it didn't go very well. Since the troop had a group on the same trek, but were required to hike 30 minutes apart for wilderness regulations, they would eat with the troop, and only hike and sleep with the crew. What got crazy was her insistence that they keep her briefed of everything the crew decided, usually over their evening meal, and when she saw that lack of communication, she came down hard on the crew president and the female advisor, who is nobody you want to upset for reasons that were not their responsibility. I was with my son's troop, since I will not be able to make this trek, but as I said, have already confirmed both male and female associate advisors for that week of the end of July. I talked with the crew president, this afternoon, and they were thinking that it would be best if this crew member just asked his mom not to come. After hearing how disrespectful he became when she started reading the riot act to the crew leadership, I don't think this is going to do any good, and just postpones the inevitable. They don't want her there, and she knows they (the crew youth) have the final say. Of course if it goes badly, she can just say then he can't go, which would be a real shame, so it's all a mine field at this point. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she is living in her own world, and it is a world where she has every right to go where ever she pleases, if her son is in anyway involved. Makes my earlier years as CM seem like the good old days!!!

[kahits]

FYI... she is registered with the crew, but is in an unassigned position on the committee. She is similarly registered with the brother troop of the same number. I get the feeling it is more for her to be able to attend campouts, but not to do much else. We have a crew CC, but have not created any other positions since the crew was created this spring. I don't consider crew committee to be an active wing of the unit, since there are so many advisor and consultant roles that would best serve in that capacity. I don't want to burn a bridge with her, but she makes it hard not to, with her unwillingness to allow her son to mature outside of her direct observation.

[scoutldr]

This illustrates the downside of having myriad committee members (and/or ASM) who serve no real purpose.

[MaScout]

Do you need the female advisor? Is there a female advisor willing to take her place who is in much better physical condition? Could her position be filled with a youth? Youth take first dibs...

[kahits]

Thanks, Mascout... we already have a female advisor going on the trek who is much younger and in better physical condition. This mother is an extra, who would only be some company on the trail (as she likes to think of it...) for the girls.

 

And I agree, Scoutldr, these registered adults with no official position are of no help to any unit, particularly the brother troop who has many parents registered only to have them go on troop campouts for the fun of hanging out with the other adults. It makes the program more like the return to CS family camping, which is not the purpose of Boy Scouts and certainly not for Venturing. Once this is finally dealt with, she will have to go back to the troop connection for that experience, but right now she thinks Double H is like a Philmont light experience, hence an opportunity to tag along for the ride.