Sometimes the only way to preserve your dignity is to laugh at yourself.

[dsteele]

I had one of those moments tonight.

 

One of our districts does an unofficial party cruise. Tonight was the second year. I was there last year as well.

 

It is not a district activity or a council activity. No youth are involved. What is it is a little quiet party with the volunteers involved in the district.

 

We met at a bar & grill on the Fox River at 6:45 PM. About 25 folks including the DE and his girlfriend, the camp ranger, and myself -- the Assistant Council Executive. Then we boarded an 80 foot long barge (like a huge pontoon boat) with grills and picnic tables on it. We took a 3 hour tour on the river and had hamburgers, brats and a couple beers as well as a very nice evening of fellowship.

 

I like to play it very low key at these things. If folks don't know me, I tend to hear things I wouldn't hear if I crashed around as the ASE. If they know who I am or want to ask someone, that's fine.

 

Well, I'm sure they'll all know who I am in the not to distant future.

 

When we neared docking (it takes a while to dock an 80 foot long pontoon boat) I wrestled with whether to use the chemical toilet on board, or wait until we docked and hurry off the boat to use the toilet in the bar. I only had two beers in the three hours, but they were giving me a sense of urgency.

 

When the boat docked, the volunteers began to pack up the un-used soda, etc. The De hopped up on the dock to help catch the stuff and a volunteer was handing it up to him.

 

In my haste to get to the rest room, I stepped around the volunteer with every intention of then stepping on the dock.

 

I ran out of boat.

 

Straight down into the river. We had been wondering all evening how deep the river was . . . and while I was standing there dripping on the dock after being helped from the water, I was able to laugh and show the people the dry line on my shirt just below the shoulders and say, "See? This is how deep the river is."

 

I just wish I hadn't been carrying my street GPS in my pocket. I think it's a casualty. I also wish I'd done it on purpose so I would have had dry clothes to wear on the one hour drive home.

 

But laughing at myself instead of getting mad saved the volunteers and myself a lot of embarrassment.

 

I'd like to hear any stories you might have that led you to laugh at yourself and saved you and those around you unnecessary grief.

 

I supposed I'll have to put up with jokes about Man o' Steele sinking, etc. But if you've got good stories, it will have been worth it.

 

DS

[scoutmom]

Oh boy! I think you're right, everyone is going to know who you are real soon! LOL

 

My story doesn't involve Scouting. MANY years ago, I went to a night club with some friends. I was single and hated sitting by myself when all my friends were dancing. SO I had no problems going up and asking a man to dance. (some of the men had a problem with it, but oh well!) I saw a man across the room kind of dancing and moving in place. So I thought,that guy looks like he wants to dance. I went up to him and asked him to dance and he was a little surprised and said to me "You'll have to ask my wife!" who was sitting down at the table next to him. I was extremely embarrased, but I didn't miss a beat. I turned to his wife and asked her to dance! She was a very good sport about the whole thing. It was very embarrasing but everyone had a good laugh.

[Mike F]

All the preaching to boys about importance of coordinating actions with your buddy and maintaining balance in canoes while in Boundary Waters this summer and -- you guessed it -- the only canoe to go over was the adults. "Check this out guys -- here's how NOT to do it!" Fortunately the camera in fanny pack was in waterproof box...

[Overtrained]

Same river, differant time.

 

We always had a Annual Explorer Canoe Race. I was demonstrating some safety procedures on what not to do or else one would end up wet.

 

In my haste to get the race going, I then disregarded what I told them (green DE that I was), stood up in the boat to shoot the starter pistol... and you guessed it - fell in.

 

Glad to see I'm not the only one the Fox conquered.

 

 

[Sparkie]

Gee, that water wasn't deep at all....i know how tall you are .

[dsteele]

Sparkie had me laughing out loud. Overtrained, the river hasn't changed.

 

Sparkie, you have a story or two, I'm sure. Will you share?

 

DS

[mk9750]

My oldest son's Webelos Den decided to do a family canoe outing as one of the last activities before crossing. We went to a local livery to rent the canoes. One would think that they would want to increase their income by renting as many canoes as possible, but not in this case. One would also think that if they saw a family of four coming, with dad @ 260, mom not a runway model, and two moderately hefty young boys, they would again want to issue multiple canoes. No to both thoughts. Four people, none small for their age, floating down our local river.

 

All was well for the first 2/3s of the trip. Mom relaxing, dad and oldest paddling, the little guy pointing out all of the interesting things along the river. Then, time for a little shallow water.

 

All of the other families got through with no problem. They probably had 500 pounds or less in each canoe. We had probably 700. You might guess that dad was out of the canoe (both lightening the load and pushing through / over the shaollow bottom). I spent @ a mile like this. Then, it was obvious that things were deep enough again, I could get into the canoe. Being VERY inexperienced at canoeing, I tried to get in by standing on the last rock before it got deep, and lifting my water soaked, denim covered hamhock over the side of the canoe.

 

Mom comes up from under the surface of the river, looking like a drowned rat, only to find our lunches floting down river, apparently racing the new canteen that my oldest son got from grandma and grandpa for his impending adventures in boys Scouts. Oldest son trying to hold back the youngest son from chasing lunch down the river, youngest son wailing like a coyote, and dad not to be seen.

 

Finally, I came up, holding my right hand in the air, saying "hey, look at this!" My pinkie finger was bent at a 90 degree angle to the rest of my hand at the knuckle. Well, despite my wife being an X-Ray tech, and having seen some greusome things before, she lost the lunch that she hadn't yet eaten. Poor oldest son, all over him! Good thing he was standing in a bathtub!

 

Mom straightened dad's finger, although she couldn't watch herself do it. We all get over to the bank, climb in the canoe PROPERLY, and set sail once again. We caught up with the lunch, but found it highly inedible. Never did see the canteen again.

 

Once we got to the car, not very dry, we decided not to stick around for the picnic that was planned. We got in the car, and I tried to hurry to get home. Put the car in reverse with youngest still outside the car. The open car door practically knocked him down.

 

How we got home without a major injury is amazing. But somehow, even doing oh, I don't know, THIRTY EIGHT stupid things, no one got seriously hurt. But I rarely get through any gathering that includes any of the old Webelos Den or their parents without having to relive the moment. Seems it's pretty funny to everyone else. To me, all I see is a pinkie finger that's still bent funny.

 

Someone should make a movie of that. It might get on the list in other current thread.

 

Mark

[packsaddle]

I am fairly sure my dignity was destroyed in this one, even with all the laughter, but here goes:

My wife insisted that I accompany her while she shopped for some women's underwear items. We located the lingerie section of a local department store and I breathed a sigh of relief, seeing we were the only persons there besides the sales lady. My wife picked out an armful and asked me to hold her purse while she retired to the dressing room to see how they fit. Still nobody but the sales lady was present so I nervously agreed. Then I heard my wife's voice asking me to come back to the dressing room to help her decide. She decided she didn't like any of them so she asked me to take them back out and return them to the sales lady. By the time I emerged from the dressing rooms, purse over one arm and items over the other, the sales area was full of women. There was a sudden hush. The sales lady was cool...she asked me about the decision and I responded, "They didn't fit" as I gave the merchandise to her and walked past the dead-silent, slack-jawed shoppers. As I bravely carried my purse out of that section I could hear murmurs behind me. Nothing left of my dignity, I decided to brass it out and laugh later. My wife still smiles at this triumph and sometimes I wonder if she planned it all along.

[dsteele]

I'm glad that you have to die doing something stupid to be nominated for the Darwin Award. Otherwise, we might all be qualified

 

 

DS

[Mike F]

packsaddle,

Falling out of canoe ain't nuthin' -- you win!