Adults "shacking up" at girl scout camp-outs

[Trevorum]

Wow. In my workplace, when it comes to lunch, gender is totally and completely irrelevant. If I was to decline invitations to lunch based on gender, I'd eat alone a lot of the time. Plus, I'd be considered some kind of a wacko.

[Trevorum]

Re-reading this thread, I think Gern is right. It is all a matter of trust and respect.

 

Suspicions of illicit sexual activity are in the eye of the beholder.

 

 

[SR540Beaver]

"But not all 14 year olds are mature enough to resist the temptation."

 

I know some 50 year olds that this would apply to also.

 

"So pratically, I'd say the rule stands for youth."

 

And as an example, so should the rule for adults.

 

"I certainly hope that if my son found himself in a situation that he needed to share his tent with a female, he would have learned that it is not immoral and an open invitation to take advantage of the situation."

 

I'd hope the same thing about my son too. However, I'd opt for giving up my tent for the young lady and tent with my son.

 

"As Americans, I think we are a bit too uptight with our sexuality and it works against us. Just look at how this discussion devolved. Adults who normally follow the Scout Law and Oath, if put in a tent together will resort to unabashed sexual pleasures as soon as the tent flap is closed. That is the example you are setting for the youth."

 

I've gone back thru the thread and have yet to find a post where the discussion devolved into what you describe. Unfortunately, perception is often reality in many people's minds. A reputation lost (even unjustly) is a hard thing to regain. The wiser choice is to set a good example and not place yourself in a position where you actions (however noble) can be negatively questioned. I believe that has been the gist of what most folks have been saying.

 

[MaScout]

Regardless of each one's personal thoughts, what message are (would) the Scouts (be) receiving?

 

First: It is okay to disobey any rules we disagree with, even though we made a vow to uphold all the rules. It is okay to not be trustworthy, etc.

 

Second: Regardless of what actually happens -- or doesn't happen -- in the tent, a youth's PERCEPTION is that a sexual relationship MIGHT occur. Most (not all) Scouts would find it "not right" that two unmarried people would share a tent, especially if it were two unmarried people of opposite gender or two people of the same gender who are self-proclaimed homosexuals (in which case, they wouldn't be leaders in Boy Scouts).

 

Why, in a group who puts such a high value on honor, would we want to deliberately tarnish our image?

 

Moreover, most of us are talking about BSA standards and we are in the GSUSA forum! Many of the same principles apply, but the RULES aren't the same.

[funscout]

Trevorum,

 

I guess my husband and I would be considered "wackos" by your co-workers. I have no problem with a group of people sharing a casual lunch, but I would be uncomfortable lunching one on one with a male friend or co-worker if either of us were married to someone else. A former co-worker of mine (female) was told by our (male) boss that he wanted to take her to lunch on her birthday. She asked me to come, too, because she was uncomfortable with the one on one situation. When the boss found out I was joining them, he suddenly had a conflict. My friend was VERY smart to not go alone with him. (the boss and my friend were both married to others.)

 

Sure, for the most part any male/female scouters who share a tent will be strictly platonic, but like others have said, it sends the wrong message to the kids.

 

I'm glad to know that although GSUSA has slightly different rules on the male-female tent issue, they, too, would not allow unmarried (or married) couples to share a tent. I don't know what my niece's leader will say to this, but if she's unwilling to follow the rules, then I'm certain my brother will look for a different troop for his daughter.

[GernBlansten]

Ok, I'm coming around to your thinking. We should take the lowest common denominator to guide our actions. Although we all follow the Scout Law and Oath and there should be no question of our integrity and honor, some people might have dirty thoughts about what is going in my tent, therefore we must have a silly rule like only married couples can tent together (In the Guided to SAFE Scouting at that!)

 

I guess my daddy was wrong when he said, "If you aren't doing anything wrong, you shouldn't care what people think about it."

 

BTW, I don't think kids would have care in the world if Mrs. Jones and Mr. Smith shared a tent nor do I think they would even consider it immoral unless their parents said something about it.

[SR540Beaver]

Gern,

 

In general, you daddy was right. However, things done in the transparancy of daylight and things done behind closed doors can be miscontrued. Remember when I said that perception is reality for some people?

 

I've been on the receiving end of nasty rumors and it is no fun....regardless of how innocnet I am. I have a former female co-worker that I became very good friends with. My wife knew of our friendship and had no problem with it. To this day, many of my former co-workers are still convinced that we were sleeping together because "it is impossible for a man and woman to be that good of friends without something else going on".

 

I am an honorable person and it DOES matter to me what people think of me. Do I still befriend women? Sure. Do I put myself in one on one situations with them that will allow people to assume the worst? Nope. Been there, done that, never again.

 

I gave up smokless tobacco that I dearly loved because it set the wrong example for a troop of 60 scouts. I think I can work out sleeping arrangements so as not to let those with active imaginations imagine things.